[bluidkiti]

February 22

Step by Step

Today, indecision is NO decision and not deciding is stagnation – in growth, progress, sobriety, moving forward, moving on. If some issue has immobilized me with uncertainty or fear of the outcome, the uncertainty of no resolution will likely progress to a breaking point. And, for me, the breaking point could be my sobriety. Today, enough is enough. I will decide, and I will call on the program and higher power how best to resolve the thing that has hung over my head far too long. And in coming to a decision, God grant me the wisdom that the outcome may be what I need and not necessarily what want. Today, no decision will yield to decision, and what has kept me stagnant loses its control. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE SEVENTH PROMISE

Self-seeking will slip away.

~Big Book ~

When we were using, constant self-seeking was our whole existence. Being forced to cut down or stop was impossible to imagine. It was an invasion of our right to live as we wished. It didn’t matter that that choice was creating physical suffering and mental anguish for us and those who loved us.

We were always on the defensive. Our answer to any accusation or plea to quite was always “it’s none of your business,” or “let me live my own life.”

With abstinence, we began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring and sharing with others, openmindedness, faith in our Program’s recovery Steps, love of others, and belonging in a world of positiveness and action. We are beginning to attain a life where we realize we are truly people who need people.

When I became abstinent, I learned that making constant spiritual progress is what life is truly all about, and the self-seeking slipped away.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If you do not make it empty, how will you fill it up again?

~ Neem Karoli Baba ~

There is a myth that most men believe: we should always be on top of any situation, and we shouldn’t show weakness or vulnerability. But the myth creates a paradox, because if we are never vulnerable, we are never open to learning anything new. How can we learn anything new if we have to look like we already know the answers? So we become weaker while trying to appear strong.

It is said that nothing can be added to a vessel that is already full. A truly strong, wise man is willing to doubt, and willing to empty himself of his preconceived ideas so that he continues to learn and grow.

Today I will not concern myself with being right Instead I will strive to have an open mind.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

A baby learning to walk falls a lot.

~ Kathleen Rowe ~

We are developing new attitudes, new behaviors, new patterns for nearly every activity in our lives. We can’t be expected to master them immediately. The commitment to make progress on a daily basis is quite enough.

We won’t be perfect. Ever. The determination to keep improving is as close to perfection as we need ever come. The challenge is in the effort. The growth is in the effort too. We are in this program to grow and change. It will happen, sometimes in spite of ourselves, if we keep showing up to do the footwork.

Falling while learning to put a better foot forward is expected. The learning process is just that: a process. A little effort, one day at a time, will hone our new skills. In no time, we will look back on our old selves with disbelief. How did we come so far, so fast?

I may make plenty of mistakes today. I can accept that. I’m learning and moving forward.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am doing well

For a while, the pain of my dual disorder was so great, I could hardly believe I would ever be OK again. I had little strength and saw no way out. Yet in detox one day, a miracle happened: I finally hit bottom.

These days I take a walk around the block twice a day, sometimes with a friend from my support group. Recently I met with my sponsor and she’ll be giving me my anniversary pin next week. With my doctor’s help I am now taking a medication that diminishes my psychiatric symptoms with even fewer side effects. Looking back, I am amazed—amazed and grateful. Because today, I am abstinent and stable.

I will strengthen my commitment to recovery by offering to do service at my Step meeting.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You can never plan the future by the past.

~ Edmund Burke ~

Intoxication used to give us something we thought we couldn’t get any other way. As addiction set in, the pleasure faded. We kept drinking or using because we didn’t know how to stop. But as we begin feeling well again and our pain fades, we may forget. The “bad old days” can start to seem like “the good old days,” and that’s dangerous.

We can learn to block these thoughts, and think about something else until the danger passes. It’s important to plan for these times, much as we would plan for any other emergency. Maintaining close ties with our sponsor and supportive friends is insurance for rough times. Reminding ourselves each day of the things we can be grateful for in recovery clarifies our thinking. Praying every day keeps our hearts open to our Higher Power, who can handle the things we can’t. And eating well and resting when we need to rest means self-respect, that we’ll be able to do all the rest. All these things we can do today, before distorted thinking sets in.

And in doing these things we’ll come to believe that real “good old days” are the ones we’re living right now.

Today help me replace negative thoughts and actions with positive ones.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The regularity of a habit is generally in proportion to its absurdity.

~ Marcel Proust ~

Before you entered a program of recovery, how did you measure your progress in letting go of bad habits? Did you tell yourself, “I only had one drink instead of the whole bottle,” or “I only bought five scratch tickets this week,” or “I only used once last month.” Such statements represent false progress. No matter how such justifications may have made you feel better, you were still actively engaged in your habit.

Progress is measured by what constitutes true success. If true success is to never drink again, then having one drink is not successful. If true success is to quit gambling, then buying even one lottery ticket is not successful. If true success is to get clean, then using is not successful.

The motivation to achieve progress begins within you. Without your buy-in from the start, you cannot move forward. Each day you do not drink, or gamble, or use is a step toward success. Even if you experience false progress from time to time, each day presents you with the opportunity to strengthen—or restrengthen—your resolve and commitment to being clean and sober.

Today I will be committed to my progress in breaking bad habits and in taking the steps I need in my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Prayer is neither black magic nor is it a form of demand note. Prayer is a relationship.

~ John Heuss ~

A conversation requires two parts: talking and listening. When only we are talking, that is a monologue. When someone lectures, we listen. Prayer can be a form of conversation, yet if we examine the way we pray we may find it’s a monologue.

We pray to ask for answers or guidance, to express our gratitude, and to bless those we care for. It’s wonderful to open up a channel to our Higher Power by beginning the conversation, but unless we allow time to listen we will never really develop a dialogue.

We can begin to change our way of praying. We can limit our requests so we are not listing a series of wishes or demands. We can ask for patience to listen and then allow a few moments to listen. The answers will come to us and our guidance will be given when we are truly ready to receive them. An equal balance of talking and listening will help strengthen our relationship with our Higher Power.

I will pray and then listen, to allow my Higher Power some time to communicate with me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Taking the Steps

We used drugs for many reasons. Often it was to take the edge off life. In the beginning drugs made the world more beautiful, more satisfying. Toward the end we used drugs to turn off our guilt, fear, and loneliness. The drugs began to cause more problems than they cured. Finally, using met none of our needs at all.

By working the Steps, however, we can learn to meet our needs in constructive, rather than destructive, ways.

Am I working all the Steps necessary to meet my needs without chemicals?

Higher Power, help me find those things in life—sober and clean—that I was trying to find by using drugs.

Today I will work on Step

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The total person sings, not just the vocal chords.

~ ESTHER BRONER ~

Newcomer

Last night, I dreamed I had a slip. There I was, sneaking my addictive substance, in such a small quantity that it didn’t seem to matter. When I realized that I’d have to face people at a meeting, I thought, “I just won’t tell them; they’ll never know.” I woke up with my heart pounding. It seemed so real that at first I wasn’t sure it had been a dream.

Sponsor

Most of us have had dreams or fantasies of using, especially in early recovery. They’re useful as a source of information, like a letter from one part of the mind to another. They remind us of who we are: underneath conscious awareness is someone who wouldn’t mind going back to using and being sneaky and dishonest, who wouldn’t care if we died in the process. The good news is that this was a dream, that you woke up in recovery, and that you chose to share your discomfort. Acknowledging our negative thoughts robs them of their power over us. Dreaming of a relapse, and talking about it, may help keep us from having one.

Today, I am not in denial.
Awareness of my addictive self strengthens my recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You cannot know and appreciate wisdom unless you are also acquainted with a liberal amount of pure folly. Folly provides the lessons that really stick in our memories and provide danger signals to govern our decisions in our future conduct.

For that reason the lessons learned overnight in a jail cell outlast those acquired after long periods of study. Believe you me, those lessons are seldom forgotten.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Gratitude is not the word but the desire to say the word.

2) It one is good, more is better!

3) Humility doesn’t mean thinking any less of yourself, just of yourself less often.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

An Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall softly on your fields,
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CHANGE FROM WITHIN

Man is a mental being, and to know that is the first step on the road to freedom and prosperity, for as long as you believe yourself to be primarily physical, a superior kind of animal, you will remain in bondage- in bondage, that is to say, to your own habits of thought, for there is no other bondage.

Since you are a mental being, you will see how foolish it is to endeavor to improve your conditions by altering your environment while leaving your mind unchanged. To attempt this is to foredoom yourself to disappointment. Mind is cause, and experience is effect. If you do not like the experience or effect that you are getting, the obvious remedy is to alter the cause then the effect will naturally alter too.

Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, than the outside of them may be clean also (Matthew 23:26).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Be You

Now all that is left is for you to become yourself.

~ Sense ~

The renowned sage Rabbi Zusya wept as he lay on his deathbed. His students, gathered by his side, were astonished. “Rabbi, why do you weep?” one of them asked. “If anyone is assured of a place in heaven, it is you!”

“I’ll tell you why,” the learned one answered softly. “If, when I approach the gates of heaven, I am asked, ‘Why were you not a Moses?’ I will answer, ‘Because I was not born to do what Moses did.’ And if the heavenly host argues, ‘You did not perform the miracles that Elijah did,’ I shall tell them, ‘Those were Elijah’s miracles to perform, not mine.’ My friends, the only question I fear I shall be unable to answer is: ‘Why were you not a Rabbi Zusya?’”

Destiny is a personal adventure. Just as no two snowflakes or finger–prints are alike, every soul comes into this world for a unique purpose. Each of us manifests good according to our own strengths and intentions. Never compare your worth to that of others because you did not accomplish what they did; you were never supposed to be like them.

Your highest purpose in life is to be true to yourself. If you honor your personal gifts, intuition, inclinations, and visions, you will fulfill your destiny and serve many others in the process.

Help me be true to who and what I am. I trust that the gifts and visions You planted within me are good. Illuminate my path that I may bless the world.

I am whole as God created me. I walk the path appointed me with confidence and joy.