[bluidkiti]

August 3

Step by Step

Today, I'm fed up - filled to the rim with those self-destructive, self-absorbed character defects like anger, self-pity and anxiety about what's been said and done, and what's ahead. And, today, I'm sick of carrying the garbage, the excess baggage that I acquired in my drinking days and may still be toting even without the booze. I want what AA promises - if I work for it. That means, finally, getting out from under the ponderous weight of that chip on my shoulder, and letting go means letting God and working the program so as not to take that weight back. Even if in sobriety I can rationalize or justify whatever resentment and any other ill feeling I harbor for someone or something, it has no role in recovery and, in fact, can derail it like a super-train jumping its track at 200 mph. The predictable outcome? Total self-destruction. I didn't come this far this long to fall apart or implode because of whatever self-destructive trap I have set. Today, I want to feel free of anger, self-pity, worry and resentment and, today, I'm fed up enough to get with the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CARETAKING

Don't care FOR, care ABOUT.

~ Anonymous ~

When we care for someone, we are letting that person be the focus of our lives. We take over the decisions and responsibilities for that person. We can bond with someone a lot better than with their needs. When we care about someone, we are concerned about their journey. We nurture, encourage, and support them on their way.

Many of us have to learn to give up playing the role of caretaker with people. We have been a one-person Humane Society, moving from place to place, picking up stray dogs and cats. We are told that caretaking is an improper response to our need to be accepted.

Whatever the reason we play the role, it is not helpful to continue in-recovery. We need to let people care for their own needs. Everyone should have the opportunity to love themselves.

I learn that caring FOR someone will probably cause the relationship to fail. Caring ABOUT them will I allow the relationship and the person to succeed.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When the heart weeps because it has lost, the spirit laughs because it has found.

~ Sufi mystic ~

We must mourn our losses, and for some of us they are many. Whether we lost a loved one, or a marriage, or a job, mourning is a necessary. Mourning is how we acknowledge that what we lost was dear to us and we know it will change us. At the same time, we all know that good things can come from events we never would have chosen. Life does go on and we can grow from our difficulties.

Our clearest example of that is seeing the good that can come from hitting bottom. After our addiction and codependency made us lose all that we could stand to lose, we surrendered to a spiritual program of recovery. Not everyone has to lose so much to gain a vibrant spiritual life. We didn’t choose our losses. But for many of us, only after our losses mounted high enough were we opened up to grow spiritually.

Today my spirit laughs because I am alive.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. . . . Every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

We resist change because it shatters our self-perceptions. But if we don’t change, our journey’s purpose is stunted. As we look back, we can see that change is a constant among our experiences. But we often resist it until the pain is more than we can bear.

It’s curious that we’d expect our lives to stay the Mime despite what we see: movement, new growth, change. Year by year we note the deeper lines and the lesser energy in our parents, our siblings, our-selves. The trees shed their leaves, the sidewalk cracks widen, the neighbors die. Change happens. Our purpose will be fulfilled.

Being grateful for change comes only with willingness and the trust that we deserve growth and opportunity. What’s in store for each of us is far greater than what we can imagine for ourselves.

I might not like everything that happens today, but each experience will offer me an opportunity to change.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am reclaiming my life

My life has been out of control for a long time now due to chemical and mental health problems. First the addiction seemed in control, then the psychiatric illness. Together, the two proved more than I could handle on my own.

After struggling to get abstinent and then get stable on medication, and after several months in both a Twelve Step group and a support group, I am beginning to reclaim my life. As I take responsibility for my illnesses, I am finding out where I was and exploring where I want to go. Each day I do the best I can. I am recovering.

Today I will draw a picture or write about the way I want my future to look.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Let me be a little kinder,
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those around me
Let me praise a little more.

~ Edgar Guest ~

Sometimes we find it easy to be critical of others. In our fellowship this is known as taking inventory, making comparisons between others and ourselves. It is often a defensive posture bom of low self-esteem. Not only does it waste sober time and energy, but creates resentment and grandiosity in us, and that hurts our recovery. When we are foolish enough to criticize another’s choice, we are setting ourselves up for trouble.

When we pray for the strength to praise rather than criticize, we find that praise is its own reward. We feel better, more optimistic about ourselves and our world. When we pay attention to ourselves and let others do the same, life’s burden lifts, our spirit flowers and opens so our Higher Power can work with us. We are lucky that our only life is our own. We had so much trouble handling life before recovery; one is enough for us now. And now we can make that life a rich one.

Today let me live my own life and allow others their rightful space to live theirs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.

~ Author unknown ~

This variation of “The Serenity Prayer,” originally penned by Reinhold Niebuhr, serves as a reminder that recovery does not begin—or end—simply when you stop using. While this is certainly the most vital change you need to make, what is of equal importance is changing yourself. Ask yourself, “Who am I without my habit? What talents and abilities have I suppressed or not realized? What can I achieve when I give myself the opportunity?”

If you take away your habit but stay the same person you were when you were using, you run the risk of losing your commitment to recovery. As it is sometimes said in AA, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

Changing yourself works best when you break it down into a series of small changes. Did you lie a lot when you were using? If so, you can learn to be more truthful. Did you feel more tempted to use when you were tired or stressed? If so, then you need to make changes in your life that will add more time for relaxation and rest.

Recovery represents a time in which I become more aware of who I am so I can change for the better.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

What must I do is all that concerns me—not what people think. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own—but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

Many times we are like chameleons, changing colors to please others. We may hide our true feelings and pretend to be happy and content, not wanting to hurt someone close.

Chameleons survive because they are adept at hiding from predators. We may feel we are living well when we hide our true feelings. Yet who is seeing the real side of us? Aren't we ignoring our needs and making someone else's more important?

Today we may have changed colors to please others. But we don't have to be chameleons. There are no predators out there—only people, just like us. Their thoughts and feelings may be different from ours, but that's okay. We all have our own brilliant colors to show.

I have beautiful colors to show off. Tonight, I'll remind myself that I do not need to hide.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Preserving and affirming our lives

Some people seem to have no problems using mood-altering drugs, but for us, they are highly destructive. When we used drugs, we lost our lives—physically and spiritually—and barely regained them through the Twelve Step program.

We who have abused mood-altering chemicals, we who are chemically dependent, must never use them again—or we risk relapse to full-blown addiction. Our path is one of total abstinence through the program.

Am I preserving and affirming my life?

Higher Power, help me to preserve my life by staying clean and sober.

I will affirm my life and practice my program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I wish I hadn't done a lot of things, but on the other hand, if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here.

~ MADONNA ~

Newcomer

I know we're not supposed to have regrets any more, but I have them. Sometimes I'm afraid that I've been damaged beyond repair.

Sponsor

We have a longing for wholeness and the capacity to achieve it. Human beings aren't like pieces of machinery that are too broken or rusty to be of use. Our tissues regenerate in seemingly miraculous ways. Our minds and spirits are also capable of regeneration and renewal. Every day of our lives, we have opportunities to begin or further the process of healing.

When we're overcome with regret, the work we do in Steps Eight and Nine, acknowledging those we've harmed and attempting to make amends to them, is especially helpful. We don't just bury the past and try to forget it. We look at it honestly and without self-pity; we make whatever repairs are actually possible. We go through the process of grieving our losses. We integrate our past experiences into a larger, more compassionate understanding of ourselves—one that includes the protection and loving presence of the Spirit within us.

Our past experience equips us to be especially helpful to others who suffer. There is a use for everything that has ever happened to us.

Today, I put my past to use as I reach out to others who suffer.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The educated person knows things but the wise man knows people. It is not possible to know life without knowing the individuals that make up the world.

A man is not a thing—he's a combination of certain good and bad traits that make him distinctive among his fellow men. Each one is an influence for good or evil, whether we realize it or not. When we rub elbows with our associates, we exchange some of our characteristics with them. Watch, therefore, your companions, for if they are unclean they are sure to soil your clothes.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Put Courage into My Heart

Lord, put courage into my heart, and take away what blocks mc from Your will
Free my speech so I may pass on Your goodness, so all will understand me.
Give me friends to advise and help me, that our efforts together may help others.
And, above all, let me constantly remember that my actions are useless if not guided by Your wisdom.

~ by Muhammad, founder of Islam ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS

THE THIRD COMMANDMENT

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that that taketh his name in vain ( Exodus 20 : 7 ).

Now this law of life really means you cannot take the name of the Lord in vain. If you try to do so you will fail because when you take the name of God unto yourself and implement it, then consequences will follow. It is a pity more of us do not realize that fact because constantly we are trying to take the name of the Lord in vain. The name of God is your conviction concerning God. Your idea of God will determine your whole life. If you believe that God is good, God is love, God has all power, God is intelligence, all the conditions of your life will steadily improve. If you believe God is intelligent but not good—I know people would not dare to say that, but people who think that God sends sickness and trouble really believe in a God who is not good—if you believe in a God who has all intelligence, but is not loving, then your idea of the nature of God must work out. Troubles will come to you, and you will not overcome them because you are saying, "God sent this trouble for a good purpose, and I must put up with it." You will put up with it. Your idea of God cannot be in vain. It will work out for you in accordance with your belief.

There is no one of us who is not limiting God in some respect in his thought and because of that we are going to suffer limitation in some way, for we cannot take the name of God in vain.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Build Your World

Make it a practice to judge persons and things in the most favourable light at all times, in all circumstances.

~ Saint Vincent de Paul ~

A religious man learned that a prostitute was doing business in his neighborhood. He found her house, stood across the street, and watched men enter and leave her home. Every time he saw a customer walk out, he placed a stone in a little pile, symbolizing the weight and extent of her sins. Years later, the prostitute died, and soon afterward so did the man. When the man was shown to his heavenly abode, he was aghast to find but a heap of stones similar to the mound he had built to mark the prostitute's wrongdoing. On the other side of the gray pile, he saw a magnificent estate with rolling lawns and colorful gardens, where the prostitute strolled joyfully. "There must be some mistake!" he railed. "That woman was a prostitute, and I was a religious man."

"There is no mistake," a voice answered. "That prostitute hated her job, but it was the only way she knew to make money to support herself and her young daughter. Every time she was with a client, she inwardly prayed, 'Dear God, please get me out of this.' You, on the other hand, were fascinated only with her sins. While she was talking to God, you were talking to rocks. She got what she prayed for, and so did you."

Things are not what they appear to be. We never really know the motive or consciousness behind someone's actions. Any act can be a tool of the ego, or an avenue for the Holy Spirit. We inherit the world we build with our thoughts.

I pray to keep You in my mind today. Let me not wander into temptation to see less than love.

I build a world of beauty with my thoughts.