[bluidkiti]

August 15

Step by Step

"To my mind, drinking didn't have anything to do with not going through with things. I don't know whether I drank to cover up being a failure, or whether I drank and then missed the deals. I was able to rationalize it anyway. I can well remember over a long period of years when I thought I was the only person in the world who knew that sooner or later I was going to get drunk." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "Personal Stories," Ch 2 ("He Had to be Shown"), p 198.

Today, no wasting physical or emotional energy on asking, "Why me?" Did I drink because I was a failure, or maybe to celebrate being successful and I "earned" the right to drink? Or maybe I couldn't overcome some devastating loss and collapsed into a heap of self-pity or bruised ego. More likely the reason was that I was a predestined alcoholic and, more likely, I barreled toward masochistic self-destruction. Today, in recovery, "Why me?" is no longer relevant because what is, is, and the First Step of admitting I am powerless makes "Why me?" a pointless question. Today, instead of lamenting why I am an alcoholic, I'll focus on the program that keeps me a sober one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

**************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE YETS

Nothing is so bad that relapse won't make it worse.

~ Anonymous ~

The stories we hear in meetings often shock us. It seems hard to believe that some members could have harmed themselves in such ways. We hear about arrests, bankruptcies, loss of family and home, lost jobs, violence, jail, physical injury—the list goes on. Most of us said to ourselves, "I never was that bad. Maybe I don't really belong here."

Our sponsors and fellow members quickly straightened us out. We were comparing our histories with other members. We were told to identify with the stories, not compare. Some of us had been lucky that worse things hadn't happened to us while we were using. We were reminded those things hadn't happened to us "yet." If we relapsed, the "yets" were waiting.

Today I'll remember to identify, not compare. I don't want to relapse and go through THE YETS.

**************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A win in April is just as important as a win in September.

~ Dave Bristol, major league manager ~

Hitting bottom and turning to recovery is an important part of our life story. Many of us lost almost everything before we started to recover. Others had the good fortune to get into recovery early, while most parts of our lives were still intact. Some of us relapsed and had to hit bottom more than once. But once we are on the path of recovery, those distinctions make no difference. Nobody is more or less a codependent or an addict. Nobody is immune from the destruction that our old ways would bring if we returned to them.

A high bottom is like a win in April. It doesn’t count any less in the long run. It doesn’t make us any less an addict or any less codependent, and it doesn’t mean that we have any more control than any of our fellow recovering friends. We are all just one bad decision away from reactivating our old ways. The only important distinction is that we are on the path now.

Today I am grateful to be sober and in recovery, following this path of a better life.

**************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I have discovered that while God would do for me what I could not do for myself, God would not do for me what I could do for myself

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

There are some things God is always in charge Of. One is outcomes. Another is the big picture encompassing our lives. Each experience is part of God’s design for us. On occasion, we may feel there Is little for us to do, since God will handle it all. However, the truth is, our participation is necessity. Every day we have many opportunities to thoughtfully put one foot in front of the other. How lovingly, how gently, how honestly and openly we move through our lives—all these things color the experiences God has planned for us.

We may sometimes find ourselves sitting back, waiting for God to take charge, or aggressively trying to force an outcome that belongs only to God. But we are learning. With time in the program, we begin to realize what is God’s work and what is ours. Our sponsors, the women who share their experiences in meetings, prayer, and meditation enlighten us about how it works.

I am surrounded by women who can help me distinguish between my job and God’s job today. My confusion won’t trouble me for long.

**************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I help myself when I help others

I was feeling worse than I had in a long time. I felt I could do nothing right. All I wanted to do was give up and get high. So when my sponsor first suggested it, I didn’t understand how doing a helpful deed for someone could possibly lighten my mood.

But because I trusted my sponsor, I gathered up what strength I had and gave it a try. He was right—an important spiritual surprise. By doing a favor for someone else, I felt better about myself—even in the midst of my own distress. I saw that I have strength in reserve and that I am a worthwhile person—I recognized that other people have needs too—needs that I can help with. When I help others, even for just a little while, I am less caught up in myself,

Today I will do something kind for someone (anonymously).

*************************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Awake my soul! Stretch every nerve,
And press with vigor on.
A heavenly race demands thy zeal,
And an immortal crown.

~ Philip Doddridge ~

By making the choice to get sober, we also accept the fact that we won’t be an instant success. Accepting our illness doesn’t end our addiction, but gives us the chance to deal with it. Relief from the burden of compulsions frees our potential and grants us distance from the pain of our old lifestyle.

Now, while we expect no medal for winning the race, we are offered the chance to run. Chemical dependency created a life lived in hell, filled with anger, hatred, resentment, and mistrust. But now another way of living is slowly unfolding. We can set to work creating a spiritual life, one in which we honor our body, our mind, and our spirit. The race is never finished, but now we are in it. With the help of our Twelve Step program and our Higher Power, we are confident of our future.

Today let me remember that I can do whatever I need to do.

**************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox and the Cat

One day a fox and a cat were discussing the methods they used to avoid their enemies. “I have many clever ways to escape,” bragged the fox. “I only have one,” replied the cat.

Just then they heard a pack of hounds headed their way. The cat immediately scampered up a nearby tree. But the fox froze. He thought about digging a hole. He considered that he could jump into a pond and swim to safety. He figured that he was so quick on his feet that he could create k a very confusing trail for the hounds to follow. As the fox continued his internal debate, he remained immobilized. So the hounds easily caught him.

The moral of the story: Better to have one safe way than a hundred unproven ones.

How many times in the past did you strive to convince yourself that you did not have a problem? And yet no amount of excuses saved you from your problem. The program is your one and only safe way to escape from the ravages caused by addiction.

Today I will be like the cat, which used one sure way to ensure safety.

**************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Laughing . . . stirs up the blood, expands the chest, electrifies the nerves, clears away the cobwebs from the brain, and gives the whole system a cleansing rehabilitation.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the greatest gilts the program gives us is the ability to laugh. Laughter is one of the best forms of relaxation. But unless we allow ourselves to see the humorous things in life, we'll have a difficult time bringing out this delightful release.

One way to begin is to practice laughing when we're alone. A loud "ha, ha, ha" while we're driving can startle us at first. But with a little practice we will see the humor in our laugh sessions and laugh without a cue.

There are a lot of things to laugh about in life. But laughter isn't always easy to find. We may have to go out of our way to look for the humor in some situations. We don't have to be comedians to be able to laugh. All we have to do is want to see the other side of life—the humorous side.

Tonight I can try to see things in a humorous light instead of with a heavy, depressing view. There are things that will make me laugh if I try to find them.

**************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sharing our burdens

We were disappointed in ourselves when we could not rise above situations that enveloped us. We were discouraged with friends who seemed indifferent to our suffering.

But coming to the program, we find that we need not fear the burdens of life. Our Higher Power has given us examples, promises, and friends to share all our bur-dens. For example, with understanding people we find that we need never be alone again.

Do I share all my crosses with my fellows and with my Creator?

Higher Power, help me to realize that there are others on my path and to believe that they can help.

The burden I will share today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

**************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

So do we put our life into every act.

~ RALPH WALDO EMERSON ~

Newcomer

There are many people I've shortchanged in my life. While making a list of those I've harmed, I realize I haven't been very good to myself either. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to do some creative work. It's something that I never used to think I could succeed at, but I've always wanted to try. Somehow, I've never had the time. Short-changing others and short-changing ourselves—I think you're right to see a relationship between the two. If we are less than honest with someone else, if we don’t keep our commitments to others, then we're doing these very same things to ourselves as well.

You've brought up your desire to acknowledge your creativity, something you've always wanted but have put off. Why has it been such a low priority, when it’s clearly so important to you? Your creativity isn't self-indulgent. It's something that's very important to your spirit, important as a path of connection to yourself and to your Higher Power.

As you clear the channels between yourself and others, you're becoming more present for yourself. This clearing is an essential part of the path to creative expression and fulfillment.

Today, I honor my need for creative expression.

**************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Frequently people who are only sober in AA try to carry our message to other alcoholics without realizing that if you have only sobriety you can only carry sobriety. In order to carry the AA way of life you must live the AA way of life.

The fact that you are sober doesn't imply that you are on the Program. In fact, many outside of AA have longer periods of sobriety behind them than anyone in AA. They started before AA was started. Whether in or out of AA, if you have sobriety only, you are a dried-up drunk in my book.

**************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Moment by Moment

Never a trial God is not there.
Never a burden that God does not bear.
Never a sorrow that God does not share .
Moment by moment I'm under God's care.

~ From "Moment by Moment" by Daniel V. Whittle ~

*************************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FORTRESS

Read Psalm 91.

Observe that the poem opens by announcing the irresistible power of prayer. Then in order to bring home the fact that this law applies to us, and that by no possibility could we be an exception, it now changes over to the first person and makes us say "I" It compels us to voice the I AM.

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge md my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. The Lord means God. How can knowledge be a presence? Secular knowledge, which is intellectual, cannot; but the true knowledge of God is an actual experience—not a thing of the head, but of the heart—and this is indeed a Presence. As a general rule, people contact this Real Self only vaguely and occasionally. Then, if they pray regularly, the gleams of intuition gradually strengthen into a definite sense of the Presence of God.

In Him will I trust. However worried or depressed you may be, however full of doubts and misgivings, still the fact that you are praying means that you have at least enough faith for that. The faith to go on praying in the midst of doubts about results is the tiny grain of mustard seed that Jesus says is sufficient for practical purposes.
Declaring in Him will trust means that you have now determined to trust by ceasing to worry and fear. This is the legitimate and spiritual use of the will.

**************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Make No Plans

Sitting quietly, doing nothing Spring comes and the grass grows by itself.

~ Zen saying ~

May I offer you three words of advice that could make all the difference in your vacation?" Fredrick asked me as he was about drop me off at the airport.

"Sure."

He looked me in the eye carefully and told me: "Make no plans."

When I arrived in Bali for my two-week retreat, I rented a thatched-roof bungalow in the middle of a rice field near a mountain town, and I created each day as it came. I woke up not with an alarm clock, but when my eyes opened. Some mornings I meditated after awakening, other mornings I wrote, and on other days, I walked through the maze of rice paddies. When I was hungry, I walked into town, dined casually at a restaurant next to a lotus pool, and then strolled leisurely through the village. My entire time unfolded in magnificent perfection with a minimum of preparation. Occasionally I would hope to see one of my friends, and within a few hours or a day, they would show up at a house I was visiting. In spite of—or because of—minimal planning, I experienced more peace and freedom than I had in a long time.

In this world, we will not escape making some plans. Houses, meetings, and businesses call for blueprints. But we can escape planning anxiously. We do not need to set up our whole life before we reach it. Many of us plan, not out of necessity, but out of fear that if we had some time on our hands, we would be lost. To the contrary, we would be found.

I turn my schedule over to You, trusting You to arrange all meetings and events for me far more effectively than I could arrange for myself.

God is my Day-Planner