[bluidkiti]

October 4

Wisdom for Today

Last night I had a dream. It was not a very pleasant dream because it took me back to my drinking and using. Today, I know that I am not alone and that there have been many others just like me who have had these dreams. Even years into recovery I still find that on some level I still think like an addict and alcoholic. I don't know why I would expect it to be any different. For years and years I poured alcohol into my gut. I spent day after day thinking and behaving like an addict. With all this conditioning, I doubt my mind will ever be free of addict thoughts. They come to the surface from time to time still. Sometimes in dreams and other times in conscious thoughts, the addict and alcoholic inside me still come out to play.

The program has taught me that this is normal, but more importantly it has taught me to think clean and sober thoughts. I need these thoughts to counteract the unproductive and destructive thoughts that the addict inside me still has. I have learned over time that my clean and sober thoughts need to be much stronger and more convincing than the addicted thoughts I still get. Yes, it has gotten easier over time. In fact my clean and sober thoughts have become a very powerful weapon in my recovery. These healthy and wise thoughts keep me motivated to keep what I have gained and seek out what is still to come from learning to live again - clean and sober. Do I have healthy thinking to combat the addicted voice still inside?

Meditations for the Heart

When I hear people at meetings talking, I listen for that voice of addiction that still talks. If I hear that voice, I find myself knowing that I too have the same voice inside. I used to feel fearful when I would hear this voice. No longer, for I find a greater need to be responsible and speak up. I needed people to point out my crazy thinking. Now I feel a need to give back. So I speak up and expose the voice for what it is. I do not know where the courage to do this initially came from, but I know that being responsible and helping others has helped me greatly. Now I can look back and recognize that the courage was a gift from my Higher Power. Do I pray for courage to help others, just as I was once helped?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

This day I do not know where my thoughts will take me. Let me stand strong in my clean and sober thinking. Give me courage to speak out strongly against my own addictive thinking. Let me also be responsible and speak out when I hear addiction speaking in others.
Amen