[bluidkiti]

June 7

Step by Step

"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." - Step Three

"Our description of the alcoholic ...make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 60.

Today, revisiting Step Three, I ask if I have enough humility to turn my will and life over to the higher power of my understanding. The starting point is the admission that my life, "run on self-will," has never worked. If I can agree, I must give up running the show - my life - the way I want because to continue to do so is another guaranteed failure. So, I look outside and, if I can say even half-heartedly that I am still alive only "by the grace of God," I have found my higher power. And because His grace is why I am alive, I can also say that I can trust Him more than myself to show me how to live as a sober alcoholic. Today, I reaffirm my decision to surrender my will to my higher power because I've not done such a great job of doing it on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CAME TO BELIEVE

Find something higher than yourself in which to believe. Believe in God or Be God!

~ Anonymous ~

Self-centered, egotistic, materialistic people score lowest of all in measuring happiness. We all think it is easy to see that money doesn't buy happiness. Yet everyone seems to give their all to obtaining money. We all know that we will never find the meaning of our lives in another person. Yet haw much time have we spent looking for such a person?

All our striving for things of this world has given us little or no happiness. We always end up with either nothing to believe in, or believing in the wrong things.

Whenever we make a god out of ourselves, someone else, or our material possessions, we bring misery down around us.

There is something bigger than myself that I must believe in and trust completely for my peace and happiness. That is my Higher Power.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Not all who wander are lost.

~ J. R. R. Tolkien ~

We are wandering on a path. We are able to look back and see how far we have come, and perhaps we can see some distance ahead. But we are exploring what a recovered life means. We cannot predict what will happen in the future, and we cannot see what is around the next bend. Some people respond to the unknown with fear. On the spiritual path we are following, we put fear in our back pocket. We continue to wander while practicing the principle of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God. There is no need to fear. We know that we will face challenges and we will not be alone.

Since we cannot foresee what will happen in the future, we can only know that we will meet whatever happens with our best self. Life is an adventure. The difference between fear and excitement is the knowledge that our Higher Power will be with us. We have our friends; we have our honesty and our self-respect. Even though we don’t know what is around the next turn, we are not lost.

Today I am grateful to be in the care of my Higher Power.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If I am a victim to everything in life, that is my choice.

~ Peggy Bassett ~

Some days we choose the role of victim. We can’t rationally explain it, but nonetheless it suits us on occasion. Perhaps we’re too tired to take responsibility for ourselves every day. Or maybe we have forgotten that we have a Higher Power to help us. Luckily, since finding this program, we settle for the victim role far less often. It’s not hard to call on our ever-present guardian angel for strength.

Actively making choices that safeguard us, that comfort our healing hearts, becomes easier with practice. Being surrounded by women who are doing likewise influences and strengthens our resolve. Who would have thought we’d come so far, so quickly?

Looking back on the past fortifies our hope and faith that we will not return to that victim role so quickly.

Being a victim fit me when I wasn’t mature enough to be responsible for myself. I no longer have that excuse. The Twelve Steps will help me clarify what I need to do to take care of myself today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It's OK to talk about my problems

I am not alone anymore

It's hard for me to be alone. I can feel paralyzed if I even think about it too long, especially when I recall some of my darkest days. Being isolated is part of what got me into treatment in the first place‒that and staying drunk all the time.

Being in a day treatment program helped me feel better. It was good to be with other recovering people much of the day, people who generally understood me, who accepted me and supported me. I feel stronger, more independent, and grateful for this help.

Tonight I will call and chat with a friend from my treatment program.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I love being able to say, “I was wrong,” or "I made a mistake,” and not feel like it’s the end of the world.

~ Carol C. ~

Before recovery, we felt so guilt-ridden we couldn’t bear to admit we were less than perfect. Since our insides seemed so awful, we clung to an outside appearance of perfection. That way, we hoped people wouldn’t find out what we were really like. But we fooled no one, not even ourselves, for very long.

In recovery, we have a chance to change that pattern. Now, we can learn to admit our limitations, our mistakes, and our imperfections. What a wonderful relief, not to have to be perfect. We can be just who we are — very human beings who are groping toward the light. Sometimes we find it, sometimes we lose our way, but still we strive onward. And, in the process, we find ourselves, and serenity.

Today help me keep working toward perfection, but forgive my mistakes along the way.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The monsters of our childhood do not Jade away, neither are they wholly ever monstrous.

~ John le Carre ~

When you were young, you may have insisted upon sleeping with your bedroom light on. You were frightened of the monsters you imagined were hiding underneath your bed or who would enter your bedroom the moment the lights went out. Over time, you outgrew your need to sleep with a light on and came to understand that stories of monstrous beings were just that—stories. But then addiction entered your life, becoming the monster you had once feared, taking over your life. Try as you might to get out of its grasp, it would not let you go.

Freedom from your addiction released you from the monster’s grip. While your life today may be a far cry from a happily-ever-after fairy tale ending, you have re-gained the joy, serenity, and rational thinking that your monster once took from you.

Although your monster may still come back to haunt you, you understand how it operates. Rather than be controlled by stinking thinking, doubt, insecurity, and fear, you comprehend the power of the Serenity Prayer. This prayer offers you protection and enables you to develop the courage you need to face those things you can change.

Today I will use the Serenity Prayer for the courage and wisdom I need so I can face my monsters and overcome them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The mind is its own place, and in itself−Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

~ John Milton ~

If we listen to the news, we can hear stories of natural disasters, starvation and deprivation, torture and bloodshed. Yet we may sit in our homes and look at our lives and moan, "Life isn't fair to me. Nothing ever works out the way I want it to."

lf we could lose our self-centeredness and look at the powerlessness issues that go on outside of our little world, we would realize our hell is of its own creation. When we see what we don't have and what we can't change, we are building the foundations of a hell memorial. We are striving to preserve the have-nots and are-nots as a fitting tribute to all we cannot be.

We can stop eulogizing such negativity. Sure, there are many bad things in this world and a lot of bad people. Sure, there are many things we cannot do and possibly never will be able to do. But we can tear down the tribute to hell and erect instead a tribute to heaven−to all the things we can have and can do, to all the things we can change.

I can build tributes to my not memorials. The Serenity Prayer can help me see blessings, not bitterness tonight.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Awaken spiritually

Many of us have had spiritual experiences and spiritual awakenings as a result of this program. Some people had them before they arrived, some when they first arrived, some years after. But before we come to realize a power greater than ourselves or our addiction, we don’t need to hear voices or see visions.

The spiritual experience most of us have is a quiet realization that God has given us our lives. What greater experience can we ask for? Have I had a spiritual awakening?

Higher Power, help me remain grateful for the gift of my life.

I will practice my spiritual aliveness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

True emancipation lies in the acceptance of the whole past, in deriving strength from all my roots.

~ PAULI MURRAY ~

Newcomer

Step Six asks us to be “entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” I don’t understand what action is involved, why it’s a whole separate Step.

Sponsor

Once again, the Steps remind us that there are processes in our experience of living, that one experience follows another. The piano soloist doesn’t arrive at the concert hall planning to “wing it” in the most difficult passages of the concerto. The ease of playing comes not merely from talent, but from preparation.

Step Five was our preparation for Step Six. Sharing our inventory with a trusted person, we saw clearly that much of our previous lives had been shaped by our insatiable craving for a drug. No longer sitting alone with our guilt and shame, no longer fleeing into addictive behavior, we aired what we thought were our worst secrets. We felt the relief that comes from knowing we’re connected with other human beings. Change seemed like the only possible direction; we didn’t want to repeat our past.

Step Six asks us to be certain that we’re prepared for fundamental change. If we pass over this Step in a perfunctory way, we won’t have the inner certainty that subsequent Steps will require of us.

Today, I see the freedom that results from willingness to surrender my defects.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our drinking days most of us entertained frequent ideas about suicide, but we did nothing about it because we either lacked the nerve, lost our ability to make and carry through any decision, or we still had some hope that sometime, somehow, something could be done. We were still in love with life, rotten as our living was.

The real joy of living came only when our living had some purpose and it will stay sweet as long as we actively engage in constructive, purposeful living.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE FEAR PRAYER

God, thank You for helping me to be honest
Enough to see the truth about myself.
Thank You for showing me my fears,
Please help me remove them.
Help me outgrow my fears;
The fears that have haunted me
And blocked me from doing Your will.
Direct my attention to what You
Would have me be.
Demonstrate through me and
Help me do Your will always.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU CAN'T, BUT GOD CAN

The spiritual forces that created and sustain the whole universe are available to help you at any time-provided you call upon them intelligently. The way to call upon this Power is to become quiet both mentally and physically, and then to call upon it quietly to do what it knows to be necessary. Do not dictate ways and means.

Have you ever seen a huge hoist in action at the docks? You know what happens. The operator would not dream of trying to pull up that load with his muscles. He would damage himself seriously and make no impression on the task in hand. That he does is to gently throw a small switch−and leave it in. Then the electric power raises the load to any height required.

When you work spiritually you are applying Infinite Power to your problem, and there can be but one outcome−victory.

Great in counsel and mighty in work: for thine eyes are open upon all the ways of the sons of men (Jeremiah 32:19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Key

Boldness has genius, power, magic in it.

~ Goethe ~

"I am at a crossroads in my life," John confessed. "Last year I quit a successful job in the oil industry so I could explore my spiritual path. Recently I received a lucrative offer to work for another company, and I'm tempted. If I take it, my soul will shrivel, for I would be going backward, not forward."

"Would you be willing to trust the universe to support you to live your dream, even if you cannot see how that would happen?" I asked.

John thought for a while and smiled. "Yes, I am willing for that to happen."

A few weeks later, I received a letter from John, who reported, "The most amazing thing happened. I went to visit my father, who has never really understood or been very supportive of my spiritual path. He took me into his study and told me, 'Son, I am proud of you for what you're doing with your life.' He took out his checkbook and wrote me a large check that will keep me going for at least a year." Within four months, John had gotten his massage teacher's license at Esalen, a yoga teacher's certification from Kripalu Institute, and attended a Mastery Training in Hawaii. The last I heard of him, he was trekking in Nepal.

The key to John's transformation and his unexpected gift was his willingness to allow the universe to support him. It was an internal shift from, "l don't see how this could happen" to "I am willing to have this happen somehow." When you start an automobile, the key is just a tiny piece of metal, minuscule in comparison to the might of the engine that will drive the vehicle. Yet, all of 3OO horsepower depends on the flick of a small key.

You don't need to know the how of it; just know the what, and be willing for an unfathomable force to work wonders on your behalf.

I surrender to Your wisdom and strength. Do for me what I cannot do for myself.

I am willing to have the universe support me to live my dream.