[bluidkiti]

May 7

Step by Step

" ...(I)t is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday (we) will control and enjoy (our) drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. ...Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 3, p 30.

Today, if I hold onto the illusion that I can keep or resume drinking because of the myths of "controlled drinking" or abstinence for any length of time, I lied to myself when I "admitted (I am) powerless ..." and I am little more than a dry drunk. Also, I learned nothing or denied the cost of my drinking and believe either the outcome of drinking yet to come might be better than it was in the past or that I am above responsibility to the consequences of my drinking. If so, I look today to a higher power for the humility to surrender myself and my will to His and, with His wisdom, find the honesty to work through my self-deception and get on with the program. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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The Eye Opener

We often wonder at the cooperation given us by non-alcoholics wherever AA takes root. A lot of it probably results from a high sense of public spirit; some lend their support because they have no valid reason for opposition; some because of admiration of the fact that we are one organization that hasn't got its hand out continually.

We strongly suspect, though, that most of it is due to the fact that the alcoholics, the near-alcoholics and the potential alcoholics represent a pretty fair majority of any community.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MANDATE FOR PERFECTION

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48).

Consider carefully what Jesus is saying. He is commanding us to be perfect, even as God Himself is perfect; and, as we know that Jesus will not command the impossible, he has here given his authority to the doctrine that it is possible for man to become divinely perfect. And, more than this, he is putting it forward as a thing that will have to be actually done.

Now, if we really are the children of God, capable of eternal and flawless perfection, there can be no real power in evil, not even in sin, to keep us permanently in bondage. So now let us lose no further time commencing our upward march. Let us now−at this very moment, if we have not already done so−rise up, like the prodigal son amid the husks of materiality and limitation, and cry, with all confidence in the teaching and Promises of Jesus:

I will arise and go to my father (Luke 15:18).

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PRAYER

Who comes from prayer a better man, his prayer is answered.

~ George Meredith ~

We learn that prayer is only a wish away. When we wished for recovery more than anything in the world, we found it. Thus our wishes became our prayers.. It was that simple.

We discover in recovery that prayer is best when it is a conversation with a Higher Power. It isn’t just a one-way speech where we tell God what we expect to have happen. It isn’t a time to try to bargain with God. We listen as well as ask. Then meditation joins with prayer.

When life beats us to our knees, our only recourse is to stay on our knees and start praying.

When my prayers aren’t answered right away, that doesn’t mean that God is denying them. The answers will come in God’s time, not mine. The answers will be God’s answers, not mine.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.

~ Hermann Hesse ~

Central to our healing and recovery is telling our story and hearing the stories others have to tell. Something changes when we first speak out loud to another per-son to tell what we were like, what we have experienced, and what we feel now. Most people feel great relief when they say what they have on their minds. Often we don’t fully know what we feel or think until we put it into words. The telling of it to an attentive listener bridges the gap between us.

Putting our stories into words gives them a form they didn’t have before and gives us handles to begin to deal with our experience. When we tell the story of our pain, our mistakes, and our triumphs, the words are the symbols that allow us to let go and move on.

Today I will talk to someone about my experience, describing either a small feeling or a big one.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We all carry within us a very wise person, the little child. To hear her call, to question her wants, is to affirm her wisdom, to deepen our roots.

~ Margo Casey ~

Our inner child is helping us grow, understand, and heal. She has walked with us always, though we may not have been aware of her presence. She will be with us forever, even when we fail to remember her presence. Calling on her, we can gain the confidence and insight we need to perform today’s tasks and fulfill our dreams for tomorrow.

How lucky we are to have learned of the presence of our inner child. In years past when our struggles overwhelmed us, she was there, but we didn’t know how to reach her, how to listen to her. Now we do, and our lives reflect our growing wisdom. They reflect our reliance on her voice, which blends with the voice of our Higher Power to become one unified guide.

We will never again suffer the struggles that tormented our past if we stay open to the spirit-filled message that is always just a quiet moment away. Going within will assure us serenity.

I will turn to my inner voice today and know that all will be well if I follow the guidance she offers.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can make it through the pain

I can’t relax. I feel sad and I’m angry at myself. It’s hard to concentrate, especially at work. Sometimes my mind goes blank. I keep forgetting things.

My friends tell me that such emotions are not uncommon in dual disorder recovery. (I thought I was the only one who had ever felt that way.) Quitting an addiction and starting therapy for emotional problems are powerful changes. It’s reassuring when they say that I am not “crazy” (I just feel like it) and that in a couple of weeks the medication I started will help me settle down (although I would prefer the pain to go away now). I am grateful to my friends especially because they keep telling me, “You can get through the pain.” Yes, I can get through the pain.

I will take two walks today and jot down two activities I can do with my hands.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

How long does it take before you want to go to meetings?

~ A newcomer ~

Often, we don’t feel like a meeting. After working all day, we’re tired, and going to a meeting sometimes seems like too much trouble. We have to force our feet to move. But we go, and every single time, something magic happens. We feel loved, we feel we belong, we feel that the world is a wonderful place and we’re part of it.

Other people talk, telling us their hardest secrets. We may talk, and tell them our secrets, and our burden lifts; we’re free again. We’re part of the love that fills the room, sharing our struggle and serenity with others as they share theirs with us.
We are not alone, and we can be grateful for all the reminders we have of this. Whenever we need to listen or talk, whenever we need to feel accepted or loved, whenever we need to share our joy, there is a meeting waiting for us. Now we have the choice of life or death, and we can keep that freedom to choose by choosing life.

Today let me choose life even if I’m tired or afraid.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The weak in courage is strong in cunning.

~ William Blake ~

At times you may feel that recovery is so hard that you just want to give it a rest. You want to say, “I am over and done with it.” You may convince yourself that because you are doing so well—after all, you have not engaged in your habit for a while—you are now safe. Or perhaps you have practically memorized the Big Book or heard the slogans and said the Serenity Prayer so many times that you think, “Yes, I have it. I get it.” And so you may stop going to meetings or doing the work you need to do.

But just because you have stopped your habit does not mean you are “cured.” Just because you think you know everything there is to know in recovery does not signify completion. To think anything different is to practice self-deception. It is denying that your recovery is a lifelong, daily commitment.

Your recovery today can only be done today. You always have the option to return to your former life, but to make that choice means you risk losing everything you have gained. So resolve that, just for today, you will continue to persevere on your road to recovery.

Just for today, I will continue to do the work of my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Don't waste your time striving for perfection; Instead strive for excellence−doing your best.

~ Sir Laurence Olivier ~

We've all heard that even the most beautiful rose has is thorns. But as that rose was growing, the gardener didn't waste time trying to snip off the thorns. Instead, by using the right combination of sunshine, water, and nutrients, the gardener knew the rose would grow healthy and strong.

We are both the rose and the gardener. We are beautiful, yet we have our thorns−our defects of character. We may have seen some of those thorns showing today. But as gardeners we have some very special tools for our growth: the program, the Twelve Steps, the slogans, and the fellowship. By using these tools, we are assured of healthy growth.

We will always have our thorns. But we can still be beautiful as long as we tend to ourselves with patience, love, and the proper tools.

Did I try to strive for excellence today? How can I use the program to help my growth?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Returning to sanity

For most of us, staying straight was always very difficult and very serious. Some of us took longer to realize this. The highlight of our insanity was trying to prove that some-how we were different, somehow we could get out of the work that was required, somehow we could find an easier, softer way out than the Twelve Step program.

All this trial and error with our lives on the line. Our “insanity” is extreme at times and nothing short of a spiritual awakening. Guidance from our Higher Power can restore us to sanity.

Is my insanity behind me?

Higher Power, help me learn how to return to sanity. Teach me to live in a drug-free world.

I will work my program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

© 1974, 1998 by Hazelden Foundation

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Who says we’re not living in a time of war.

~ ALI LIEBEGOTT ~

Newcomer

Sometimes people in meetings talk about suicide attempts they made when they were active in their addictions. Talking about it at a meeting seems unnecessarily heavy to me—it’s not everyone’s experience.

Sponsor

The disease that we have is a fatal one, if it’s left untreated. Some of us made suicide attempts in the past. Some of us believe we were never that desperate. But aren’t our active addictions a form of suicide, too? What about the damaging effect on our health, over time, of the substances we consumed? What about the dangerous situations we got ourselves into through impaired judgment? What about the small deaths: the people we shut out through our addictions, the meaningful work or pleasure we denied ourselves, the dreams we deferred?

Each day we have the choice of adopting attitudes and taking actions that lead to recovery or to addiction—to life or to death.

Today, I'm entrusted with the precious gift of my life.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

IT SHOWS IN YOUR FACE

You don’t have to tell how you live each day;
You don’t have to say if you work or play;
A tired, true barometer serves in the place.
However you live, it shows in your face.

The falseness, the deceit that you wear in your heart
Will not stay inside where it got its start;
For sinew and blood is a thin veil of lace.
However you live, it shows in your face.

If you have battled and won in the game of life,
If you feel you’ve conquered the sorrow and strife,
If you’ve played the game square and you stand on first base,
You don’t have to tell it, it shows on your face.

If your life’s been unselfish, for other you live’
And not what you get, but what you can give,
And you live close to God, in His infinite Grace,
You don’t have to tell it, it shows in your face.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Make Today Count

To enhance the quality of your relationships, imagine this is your last day with whomever you are with.

~ Og Mandino ~

The morning started out like any other. Mrs. Magliano drove her husband John and son Ted to the train station, kissed them goodbye, and wished them a nice day. But the day was not like any other. En route to New York City, a crazed gunman opened up fire on the train car, killing a large number of people including John Magliano, and seriously wounding his son.

I saw a television show documenting Ted’s recovery. With the help of loving friends and a positive attitude, he was making a remarkable comeback. I was struck by his mother’s reflections: “My last memory of my husband is kissing him good-bye and telling him, ‘I love you.’ I did that every day for 30 years, and I meant it. It brings my heart peace to know that we parted with a blessing."

We never really know if we will see any particular person again. That is why it is important to resolve conflict and bring our relationships into peace and healing without delay. In college I broke up with a girlfriend on bad terms. We avoided each other for a while and then saw each other at a party. “We need to talk,” she told me. We sat down and gently resolved our upset. A year later, I learned that she was killed in an auto accident. I was very glad that we had spoken words of kindness when we did.

Make a list of any situations or relationships with which you are out of peace. Pray and ask for guidance about what you can do to heal them. Go about your business of bringing them back into harmony. Then you can enjoy them, yourself, and your life.

Spirit of Love, open my heart. Help me to be at peace with all of my relationships. Let me not settle for upset or separation. I want my life to reflect Your love and blessings.

I create peace with my loved ones and myself.