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May 12

Step by Step

Today, impatience and spontaneous anger will not command what I say because my words may require another amend to someone. Unlike physical injuries, emotional hurt from an unkind word spoken in recklessness or anger may not be as easily reconciled. If today I explode in frustration, God grant me the wisdom to respond first with the discipline and tolerance that are contained within the 12 Steps. More than eating tomorrow the reckless words I speak today, no words can be taken back - and some can cause hurt for which an apology cannot un-hurt. Today, discipline and patience with tolerance and wisdom to guide my words. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

VALUES

By accepting God’s help we learn to think clearly, to play fairly, and to give generously.

~ Anonymous ~

Our values change in recovery as we become less and less selfish. The value screen through which we see life is changed. We no longer ask what everyone can do for us; we ask what we can do for them. We no longer seek out situations that only comfort us; we discover ways to comfort. We find that we feel better about ourselves when we help others. We learn from our Program that what we have been searching for our whole lives is wrapped up in service to others.

The valuable relationship is the one that creates a closer contact with our Higher Power, so we seek out situations and people that bring us into closer contact.

The values we show in the work of recovery look different from the ones we once held. Every day brings a new chance to become a conductor of life.

My values no longer change with each passing fancy. My life is beginning to mean something and to count for things that are good.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Just as we took refuge in being special, we can learn to take refuge in being ordinary, not being in charge, not being the center of the universe.

~ Wayne Muller ~

In our addictive and codependent minds, we were prone to feeling special. We felt grandiose about our power to fix others, or about our power to walk on the edge of danger and not get hurt. We thought we could handle things that most people couldn’t. Some of us felt especially bad and shameful, more shameful than everyone else. We thought recovery was fine for others but it wasn’t wb.at we needed, or it wasn’t going to work for us.

True self-esteem is not based on feeling special or better than others. A large ingredient of true self-esteem is self-respecting humility. We are all much more alike than we are different, and we are connected to each other on the basic levels of life and death, pain and joy, and the need to give and receive love. When we make friends with other men and really let them know us, we feel our common humanity and a strong sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem.

Today I will notice my connection with all others, the people I like and the ones I dislike, the people I know and the people who are strangers.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I want to be loved, and for that to happen, I must love others and I must want love for them.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

Feeling loved is so elusive. We savor the feeling when it comes, and we think if we hang on tightly, it won’t leave. But we must give love away if we want to keep feeling it. That is the paradox. It is also a principle we can rely on absolutely.

Feeling generous in spirit toward others gives us a powerful blessing in return. We quickly sense that whatever we feel toward the friends and associates in our lives we feel about ourselves. Carrying love for others in our hearts assures us of feeling loved too. It’s easier to understand once we begin utilizing this principle. What we give away, we get back.

I can influence whether or not I am loved by how I treat others today. What I sow I will reap.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need a guide

In the past my only guide was myself (and my addiction). I did the best I could with what I had, but it wasn’t nearly what I needed to manage a dual disorder. And I was not willing to accept ideas for change that weren’t my own.

Now, after a lengthy journey, I have found a new guide, a source of wisdom and strength much greater than myself. I freely choose this higher power, which includes the Twelve Step program. As difficult as it is to do at times, I am letting go of my old unsuccessful ways of coping and trusting more in my higher power. I have found a better way and I will make it a serious commitment.

I will write down one way in which I have already “let go” in my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I can know my Higher Power through daily meditation.

~ Lucille S. ~

When we are at a Twelve Step meeting our Higher Power is there also. One way to experience that Power is through members sharing their strength and hope. We know our Higher Power is working in our lives when we hear others tell their story, and we don’t have to feel alone again.

We can ask ourselves, are we trying to find ways to identify with other members or are we still trying to be different? Are we finding fault with our Twelve Step program or are we grateful for the principles we are learning? Do we criticize or judge others at meetings? Or are we at one with our Higher Power and the force of our fellowship?

We can, in recovery, strive continuously to improve ourselves. We can let go of the critical, faultfinding we did in the past and live one day at a time, grateful for our sobriety. By doing this, we are living constructively, growing spiritually, and freeing ourselves from pain. We are open to the presence of our Higher Power, who is always within, and who can help us if we only ask.

Today let me feel God’s presence and power in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I have always wagered against God and I regard the little I have won in this world as simply the outcome of this bet.

~ Andre Breton ~

What kind of relationship did you have with God in the past? Maybe you prayed only when you were down in the dumps or down on your luck. Perhaps your prayers were filled with “I wants” rather than humble requests for guidance. Maybe your conversations with God were filled with anger and resentment over all that was wrong with yourself and your life. Because you received no answers and your life did not get better, you began to doubt that God even existed.

You might view your use and abuse in the past as “good times.” But each time you engaged in your habit was like placing a bet on a roulette wheel; sometimes you experienced a good outcome, but more often than not you lost.

In recovery, there can be no wagering with your Higher Power. You cannot build a connection to God by bargaining. You cannot come to a greater understanding of God’s will if you want your will to have the loudest voice or to come out on top. And you cannot fulfill the purpose of your existence when your sole purpose is to fulfill your needs.

I will silence my desires and needs so that I might better hear what God is telling me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Love is a great thing a good above all others, which alone maketh every burden light. Love is watchful, and whilst sleeping still keeps watch; though fatigued, it is not weary; though pressed, it is not forced.

~Thomas à Kempis ~

Love is not just something we say or write. Love is the face we put on, the clothes we wear, the way we walk and move-our very heart and soul. If we are not made up of love, we will reflect this to others and will feel it within ourselves.

Love isn't just a feeling. Love is a truth filled with forgiveness and kindness; with generosity and honesty. It is the willingness to serve and protect, to cherish and respect, to honor and be strong. We do not have to have feelings of love for everyone we meet, but we do need to love them.

Have we loved those around us today? Have we shown others that we acknowledge their truth and character, in the same way we would want them to acknowledge us? lf we can see love as separate from the feelings of falling in love, we will then begin to understand there is love in all of us. And each of us is special enough to be loved.

Tonight I can see love is everywhere and in everyone.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Measuring our success

Success and happiness in working our pro-gram are subjective. They have to be. Personal satisfaction in anything depends on the individual’s perceptions. Members may comment on what makes for success and happiness in the program, but we can only measure it for ourselves. To judge success by another’s standards is being untrue to ourselves.

Some judge success in material terms, some in physical terms. Still others judge success in terms of emotional adjustment or mental and spiritual growth. It’s up to us and our Higher Power, not family, friends, or therapists. We alone measure our success.

How do I measure my success?

Higher Power, grant that all my thoughts, words, actions, and successes today will be directed by you.

Today I will examine my standards for success and happiness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Joy delights in joy.

~ WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ~

Newcomer

Our group is having an anniversary party, and I asked someone with a lot of time in the fellowship to go as my date. I really stuck my neck out: I let this person know that I felt attracted. Here’s the answer I got: “I don’t get involved with anyone with fewer than five years of recovery!” I wish I’d kept my mouth shut.

Sponsor

Don’t make yourself wrong for asking for what you wanted. While there are kinder, more gracious ways of saying no, at least this person told the truth and didn’t confuse you about what to expect in the future.

A date to go to a dance or a party can be just a date; it doesn’t have to lead to deep involvement. You have the right to enjoy yourself and to have social companionship. It’s good experience to attend some sober social events in our first year, especially with friends for whom recovery is as high a priority as it is for us.

The first parties I attended in recovery were truly scary to me—I hadn’t had much experience enjoying other people’s company without the “help” of my drug of choice. It may be more relaxing for you to lower the stakes by joining up with two or three recovery friends and attending the party in a group. Or you can sign up to contribute food or music or to help with decorating or cleaning up. Having a job to do is one way to feel part of things.

Today, I am grateful for the word “no.”
I respect my own and others’ honesty in saying it.
I feel joy in my recovery and say yes to celebration.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The medical profession is sincere in its efforts to help the alcoholic. Unfortunately, however, the very nature of the ailment defies adequate diagnosis, as the causes cannot be localized or catalogued. Every alcoholic is a sick man, but the underlying cause of his sickness cannot be X-rayed because there is no one underlying cause. It is a progressive disease and the patient himself does not know where the pain really is.

We in AA, however, know our patient as we know ourselves, for drunks are strangely alike fundamentally. We know the symptoms and the effects of the malady for we too have suffered it. We know our medicine for its relief, for we were cured by it ourselves.

Alcoholism may develop from any number of hidden causes. We may be very much un-alike in our behavior when drinking but in the hang-over stage we are as alike as two peas in a pod. We know what to do in a case like that.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THY WILL BE DONE

If we were to chase each particular care, each particular worry, and each particular sorrow, I would have business on hand for the rest of my life; but if I can rise into a higher state of mind, these cease to be annoyances and cares. Ninety-nine parts in a hundred of the cares in life are cured by one single salve, and that is, “Thy will be done.” The moment I can say that, and let go, that moment more than ninety-nine parts in a hundred of my troubles drop away.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LET DOWN YOUR BUCKET

We live in the Presence of God. The Bible says, In him we live, and move, and have our being (Acts 17:28) This limitless Power, which is Intelligence and Love−God−can be contacted at any time by turning to Him in thought, and allowing Him to fill our hearts. Whenever we do this He at once begins to influence our lives for peace and harmony and freedom.

A party of shipwrecked sailors were drifting in an open boat on the Atlantic Ocean. They had no water, and were suffering agonies from thirst. Another small boat came within hailing distance, and when the shipwrecked mariners cried out for water, the newcomers said, “let down your bucket.” This sounded like cruel mockery. But when the advice was repeated several times, one of the sailors dipped the bucket overboard−and drew up clean, fresh, sparkling water!

For several days they had been sailing through fresh water and did not know it. They were out of sight of land, but the estuary of the Amazon, which carries fresh water naby niles out to sea.

Closer is he than breathing; nearer than hands and feet.

~ Tennyson ~

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Soulmate Knocking

When you are no longer compelled by desire or fear... When you have seen the radiance of eternity in all the forms of time... When you follow your bliss...doors will open where you would not have thought there were doors...and the world will step in and help.

~ Joseph Campbell ~

In one of my seminars, a young girl anxiously posed this question: "I live in California; what if my soulmate is in South Carolina? How am I supposed to find him?” Many of my friends have tried all kinds of techniques to hasten the crucial connection: some of them place and answer personal ads; others join video dating services; some pray and recite affirmations; others make lists of desirable mate traits and read them aloud; some hire matchmakers; and others wear crystals and use flower essence formulas.

My friends John and Susan met in a way that defies methodology. John was a hermit living in the Halawa Valley, a remote jungle reachable only by a long and winding road at the far end of the sleepy Hawaiian island of Molokai. One day, John’s friend William showed up to visit him, accompanied by his traveling companion, Susan. Instantly John and Susan hit it off, fell in love, and before long, wedding bells rang. Eventually they moved to another island and John re-entered society.

The season of the heart was ripe for the couple to meet, and destiny had its way. John could not have been situated more off the beaten path, and Susan was simply on vacation. Geography means nothing to destiny. If two people are meant to find each other for any reason, they will. We don’t have to worry or scheme. Simply be what you are, where you are, and your good will find you.

I pray to release anxious struggle. You know my best interests. I believe in love.

I place my destiny in the hands of God, trusting that my good is manifested through a hand greater than my own.