[MajestyJo]

The thought of losing my sense of humour is scary, it was pretty sick for a long time and some days, it can still use a little healing. I think I inherited it from my dad, his was very, very dry.

My son told me one day, `Mom I wish I inherited your sense of humour instead of Dad`s, which can be close to being non existent.``

How sad to go through life and not see the funny side of it. For so many years, if I hadn`t been able to laugh, I would have cried my life away. The greatest lesson though was learning to laugh at myself. Not make fun of myself, but laugh at my own antics. Not put myself down, but just accept myself for who I am in today.

My humour was very sarcastic and often not very nice, in other words, down right hurtful when I was using, often directed at others, but most often directed at myself, more often than not at my ex-husband. My tongue was a weapon and in today, I try to use that tongue as a tool to help heal and put people back together again instead of tearing strips off them, tearing them apart and forgetting to put them back together again. That alone, is an amend I will never be able to pay in full.

It took a lot of prayer asking for forgiveness and it took a long time to find the willingness to forgive myself, for hurting others and to find a willingness to even ask for forgiveness for myself.

So many times things are not a laughing matter, but we flub them off as they were. So many people, the jesters are the ones that are the ones that are hurting the most. Worked with a girl like that and dated a guy like that, he was the life of the party. Laughter can cover up a multitude of sins or it can heal and take them away.