[bluidkiti]

An agitated patient was stomping around the psychiatrist's office, running his hands through his hair, almost in tears.
"Doctor, my memory's gone. Gone! I can't remember my wife's name. Can't remember my children's names. Can't remember what kind of car I drive. Can't remember where I work. It was all I could do to find my way here."
"Calm down. How long have you been like this?"
"Like what?"

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My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.
Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk".

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The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ... BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign,reading ... LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read ... MAIN ENTRANCE.

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"I'm into golf now. I'm getting pretty good. I can almost hit the ball as far as I can throw the clubs." - Bob Ettinger