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November 9

Step by Step

” …Are some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the ancients about the realm of the material? Even in the present century (20th), American newspapers were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers’ first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Had not all efforts at flight failed before? Did not Professor Langley’s flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac River? Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved man could never fly? Had not people said God had reserved this privilege to the birds? Only 30 years later, the conquest of the air was almost an old story and airplane travel was in full swing.
‘…We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to our human problems (a) readiness to change our point of view.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 (“We Agnostics”), pp 51-2.

Today, by simply changing my point of view if I still reject the possibility of a Higher Power, I am poised to take the Second Step: “Came to believe that a Power greater than (my)self could restore (me) to sanity.” But why is belief and acceptance of a higher power helpful, if not required, for me to earn sobriety? A power greater than ourselves, simply, can strengthen us to do what we cannot do alone – stop drinking. That force might be able to achieve what once impossible for me alone – stop drinking. Men of any era deemed impossible accomplishments that, in subsequent eras, are taken for granted. If today I can open myself to a power stronger than myself, if I can ignore any religious implications, I can take an early but pivotal step toward recovery. I can “come to believe.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPECTATIONS

For people who live on expectations, to face up to their realization is something of an ordeal

~ Elizabeth Bowen ~

We used to undermine our happiness with unrealistic expectations. We said we wanted to be happy, but our actions told a different story. We held onto resentments and grudges, because we expected life to be fair. We expected those around us to understand our needs with no effort on our part. We expected to be given all the good things in life simply because we thought we deserved to have them handed to us.

Our Program teaches us to let go of expectations. We learn to face reality. We realize that life is not handed to us on a silver platter. We come to appreciate reality. We need to make fewer unrealistic demands on ourselves, others, and life in general.

When I live on expectations, lam not living in the real world. I need to tone down my demands and appreciate the life I am living right now.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Other things may change us, hut we start and end with family.

~ Anthony Brandt ~

In our childhoods, our families formed our self-image and our understanding of what relationships are. We learned to either have trust in the system of intimacy that nurtured us, or to distrust the fibers of those close bonds. For some of us it is easier to trust relationships that aren’t close than to feel trust after they become close. Many of us become more fearful and anxious with someone after we are deeply involved with them because we were formed in childhood to feel wary.

As adults, we are still developing and changing. No one reaches adulthood fully formed. Some of us have been stuck in our childhood state. But we are not limited to what we learned as children if we are willing to be challenged to grow in adult love. We have to give ourselves some slack when we make mistakes; there is always room for repair. And we have to grant the same to our loved ones. When we are willing to be honest about our feelings and willing to hear what our loved ones are telling us, we will continue to become better men.

Today I continue my adult development to become a better man.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Because thoughts come from the inside, not from the outside, what we think determines what we see.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

It’s difficult to remember that we are in charge of our thoughts and thus what we experience. But it’s also exciting to contemplate all the changes we can make by focusing on positive thoughts.

Perhaps we can try this together. Put this book aside for a moment and look closely at your surroundings. Think about how lucky you are to have a place to sit, a peaceful moment to contemplate your life. Think grateful thoughts about your friends and family. Notice how you feel when you have pleasant thoughts running through your mind.

Our lives are as fruitful, hopeful, and peaceful as we choose. The show that goes on in our minds and is acted out in our experiences has been produced and directed by us.

I am eager to experience my life today. Knowing that it will match my thoughts is exhilarating.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am not to blame for my two illnesses

What did I do to deserve the dual disorder of addiction and psychiatric illness? Why must I have both illnesses—isn't one enough? Sometimes I feel punished, as though I'd committed some crime.

I brought this up at my support group and was reminded that I don't deserve my illnesses, didn't cause them, and cannot cure them. The group called them no-fault illnesses and emphasized the importance of acceptance. It was a relief to hear that, although I am responsible for working on both illnesses as best I can, I am not a bad person for having a dual disorder.

I will read about Step One and pray for acceptance and strength.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.

~ Joseph F. Newton ~

The isolation of our illness can be devastating. And the more advanced we were in our disease, the more isolated we became. The journey back is a hard one, but to wake up in the morning and face the world with friends is a joyous triumph. We reach out to others like us and realize we are not alone in our suffering.

The pain of our illness made us feel separate from others — as if we belonged to an entirely different race of people. We wondered how anyone else could feel the way we did. The fact is, we belong to a special group with special advantages: we know the symptoms of our illness and know what we can expect from our recovery. We can talk about our feelings with people who understand what we are feeling and why we are feeling that way And we have a way out of our pain and suffering — the Twelve Steps.

We need never again feel isolated from others. Our group and the strength we’ve found from people just like us will be the bridge to our future happiness.

Today help me know when I am isolating and give me the strength to connect with others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Mirth is like a flash of lightning that breaks through gloom of clouds, and glitters for a moment; cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.

~ Joseph Addison ~

You may recall the first few meetings you attended, when you were filled with misery and in deep despair, and heard laughter and joking by others at the meeting. You may have felt put off by such behavior and thought, “How can people laugh at a time like this? How can getting sober be even remotely funny?”

While alcoholism is truly a serious disease that, if left untreated, can have critical or even deadly outcomes, sobriety shows you a way of life that includes creating a balance between work and play. Recovery enables you to see the full spectrum of emotions—one that includes smiles as well as tears. Sobriety shows you that it is possible to have a good time without drugs or alcohol.

Once you work the program, it may not be long before you can join into the laughter, joke around with others, and learn how to play and have good, clean fun. By entering the program, you have earned the right to laugh.

Humor is an essential part of life that helps me stay sane and sober.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.

~ Harold Abbott ~

A young man traveled to the city to apply for jobs. But first he wanted to buy new shoes to assure a good impression. He was so intent on getting to a shoe store that he nearly tripped over another man. This man had no legs and was sitting on a board with wheels, pushing his way along the sidewalk when the two had bumped. But the accident in no way slowed down the disabled man; he waved a cheery greeting to the young man and traveled on.

How often are we so caught up in petty trifles that we don't notice others? The young man so concerned with shoes and a future job learned some people don't have to worry about shoes.

What did we notice today? If we think back to to-day's events, can we remember little details about people, recall smiles and laughter, or recollect snatches of conversation? We can take time to notice more than our shoes.

Sometimes I pay too much attention to my own issues. Help me notice other people and remember the time I spend with them.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dropping our delusions

While using mind-altering chemicals, we often operated under delusions of grandeur. We thought we didn’t have to take anything from anybody. We were confident we could handle everything. But if we remember correctly, when the landlady said, “Get out,” we got out. When the police said, “Get in,” we got in.

Actually, we were pushed around a lot. By letting go of false pride, we clear the way for real confidence.

Have I left my delusions behind?

Higher Power, I am grateful for the freedom that comes with not having to be devious.

I will cultivate humility today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Someone once asked me... whether I waited for inspiration. My answer was: "Every day!"

~ AARON COPLAND ~

Newcomer

I've been praying for help in an area that is very difficult for me; I feel as if I've hit a wall, and I don't know what to do. The prayers don't seem to be helping. Is my Higher Power listening?

Sponsor

Our reserves of patience are so easily exhausted. We quickly move to discouragement and even despair when we don't get what we want when we want it. Problems may have been in our lives for years, but we are only now becoming aware of them in recovery. How can we expect them to clear up in a few weeks or months? We think that we're at the end of our rope, but perhaps our situation will seem less desperate if we acknowledge that, through prayer, we've made a beginning.

Think of how patient our Higher Power was with us, all those years that we continued to be active in our addictions. Can we be that patient with ourselves, as we make progress in recovery?

Instead of giving up, we can believe an answer will come, and can prepare to recognize it by keeping our lines of communication with our Higher Power open.

Today, my daily prayers are part of an ongoing conversation with my Higher Power. I pray with confidence that I am in the process of receiving what I need.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is a most comfortable feeling for us alcoholics to know that there is a vast host of friends in AA who are standing by. We pray to God we will never need them for an emergency and, with our new-found faith, we don't think we ever will, but it helps a lot to know that they are available if needed. It gives you a feeling of security akin to catching the fourth ace.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Happy Thoughts

Lord, remind me that the past is just that.
Protect me from my own thoughts.
Take away the old tapes playing in my head.
Fill my mind with thoughts of peace and serenity.
Lead me into the light, away from darkness.
Surround me with Your love.
God, remind me that yesterday is gone;
Tomorrow may never be;
Today is all I have.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TWO SPIRATIONS

Have you heard the old story of the two spirations? They are essential for every worthwhile achievement. If either is missing the enterprise is doomed to failure, and if you have not been making your life as successful as you would like, you must go to work and find which of them has been overlooked. I am sure it is hardly necessary to tell you that the two spirations in question are inspiration and perspiration.

First you need inspiration. Sheer hard work, blind plodding, or brutal hammering will not bring Success. You must also have regular inspiration.

Second, perspiration. There is no success without persevering hard work in the direction of your goal. Recently I heard one of the greatest living musicians address a class of musical students. He said, "I know of no road to success except hard work. If there is such a road I have not heard of it."

I added in my own thought, "Work hard—but do not make hard work of it."

Contact God daily for inspiration; and then work hard.

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalm 127:1).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

It Takes Two

You are your brother’s savior.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

When she performed weddings, my teacher Hilda gave one marriage vow: “Don’t fight on the same day.” She suggested, “You can be mad on Monday, and then your turn is on Tuesday. As long as at least one of you keeps your head at any given time, you will be all right. ”

When I first heard Hilda’s advice, I laughed and thought her idea was a cute joke. As I went on to explore my own relationships, I realized that her suggestion was profound and had the potential to save much pain. A Course in Miracles echoes that relationships are safe as long as one per–son remains sane at any moment.

Anger, upset, and blame are forms of temporary insanity. When two people lose their clarity simultaneously, the issue to which the insanity is applied seems real. If one person can hold his or her awareness of the light, while the other has slipped in the darkness, the light-holder will have the leverage to lift the other out. Two people in the dark have a much harder time finding the light.

If your partner goes insane momentarily, hold your peace. Your upset will pass much more quickly if you do not agree to match it or fight it. Once my partner was quite upset, and she vented for about half an hour. I simply remained still and listened. Finally, she relaxed and said, “Thank you for listening—that is just what I needed.”

If you temporarily lose your sanity, do not try to drag your partner to the netherworld with you. If they can keep their peace, do not be offended; you are blessed. Clarity is the greatest gift we can offer one another.

I pray to remain sane when others lose their clarity, and that they do the same for me.

Peace is my most powerful response.