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November 10

Step by Step

“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. …Their chances are less than average.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 5 (“How It Works”), p 58.

Today, if enough is enough, if despair cuts too deeply, if fear gained the upper hand, if my lies are so many that I can’t lie to even myself anymore, I seek the strength to take control and say no more to all of it and, especially, commit myself not to be one of those who are “constitutionally incapable.” Whether I am struggling not to drink but the bottle is winning or if I am giving temptation or craving the upper hand, today enough is enough and I muster the brutal honesty needed to avoid being one of the “constitutionally incapable’s.” If I allow dishonesty to be the way of my life, I have little chance of taking back control of my life and getting sober. I will not fall deeper into the gutter, nor will I keep lying to myself and anyone else simply because it has become a habit – even when telling the truth is easier. Today, I begin the work to become “constitutionally capable.” Honesty is the starting gate. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

MIRACLES

The age of miracles is forever here.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

So many wonderful, unexpected things happen to us in recovery. We are convinced early in the Program that miracles can happen to all who work toward spiritual progress. The fact that we found our way to the Program is itself a miracle. That we have learned how to stay abstinent is another. That we are living a new and better life is still another.

With the help of our friends, our Program, and our Higher Power, we experience miracles of discovery and growth all the time. As long as we face each day with honesty and gratitude, those miracles will continue to be ours.

It is said that the greatest miracle would be to return from the dead. Before recovery began, we were among the living dead. Today we are all miracles.

Today and every day, I will remember to thank my Higher Power for the miracles I've found in recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Patience and passage of time do more than strength and jury.

~ Jean de la Fontaine ~

It’s part of our masculine style: when we see a problem, we want to get out our tool kit and fix it. We admire strength and the ability to remedy any problem. That’s not always bad, but as we get older and wiser we learn that not everything can be fixed with a hammer.

Masculine strength and aggressiveness don’t solve all problems. A savvy man who has been around the block a few times learns other approaches to problems. We learn that patience and timing are incredible forces for accomplishing great things. As we continue to focus on our own recovery and transformation, sometimes we feel impatient for the rewards and the peace of mind that are promised in this program. The best remedy for impatience is to turn our attention back to the challenges and the rewards that this particular day brings. They are sufficient for us to deal with.

Today I will remember that time is my friend and is working on my side.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Don’t just want. Choose.

~ Patricia Benson ~

For many of us the fog is only beginning to clear. It takes awhile to understand that all along life has been about making choices. Because we were under the influence, we inadvertently rolled into many situations with unclear intentions. Not being conscious of our choices, however, doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility for making them. Now we have the opportunity, with the help of the program, to take charge of our choices. We can, with thought, make responsible choices.

We are assured the gift of empowerment when we actively take charge of our choices. We used to want things to work out without doing our part or asking for what we needed. Or we never consciously made choices. What has become so very clear is that not choosing is in fact choosing! And, no doubt, we are still saddled with the results of some of the “choices” we never intended to make. No longer does this need to be our life pattern. Today is a new day, and this program is giving us every tool we need to embark on a new course.

I will grow in confidence the more I consciously choose among my many options today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to stay sober and stable

At first I thought that if I just took my psychiatric medication, I would be OK. I thought that if my mood got brighter and I didn't feel so restless so much of the time, I wouldn't have to drink.

But when my symptoms improved, I got a surprise—I found out I still wanted to use. I couldn't stop cold turkey, I needed to use. And my symptoms got worse after using. It's taken some time and some trial and error, but I now see that I must work on both illnesses at the same time.

I will need a Twelve Step program to deal with my substance abuse.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

They who forgive most shall be most forgiven.

~ P.J. Bailey ~

We come into the program with many resentments: “It was his fault I drank in the first place”; “If I’d gotten that job this never would have happened”; “I’m coming here to make my wife happy.” We are angry and we need to blame someone for our pain. And the hardest thing is to accept responsibility for our actions, to say, “I am here because of me.”

But now we are here, ready to change. We soon learn that resentments are a danger that could lead us to relapse. And resentment hurts our self-love. To keep harboring resentments will hinder our recovery.

So we take an inventory and share it with someone we trust, and begin to understand the self- defeating nature of resentments. We are slowly beginning to feel and express our anger. It can be freeing to realize that whether or not we confront the target of our anger makes no difference. We learn that resentments poison us and we don’t want to let them keep us from our Higher Power. In time, with help from our Twelve Step fellowship, we learn how to forgive and find peace in ourselves.

Today help me take one step closer to forgiveness.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Try out your ideas by visualizing them in action.

~ David Seabury ~

Meditation can calm and relax you during times of stress, and can help you face some of the most difficult tasks in your life. Whether these are things you need to do as part of your daily routine or as part of your work in recovery, spending quiet time in reflection before you take action can help redirect your efforts and improve your outlook so you can be assured of a successful outcome.

To do so, get into a comfortable space—one that is quiet and free from stress or outside interruptions. Lie down or sit in a comfortable position. You can use soothing music or silence to help you relax as you take slow, deep breaths. When you feel yourself relaxed and in a calm state of mind, consider the task that lies before you. Ask, “What do I hope to accomplish by taking this action?” Focus your mind and visualize having achieved your goal. Feel all of your feelings: a great sense of accomplishment, relief, happiness, or pride.

You may now be ready and eager to forge ahead. Meditation has helped you develop a positive mind-set so you can take the necessary actions to bring about the results you desire.

I will use meditation to help me take positive action.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life consists of opposites in balance.

~ Marian Zimmer Bradley ~

Remember playing on a seesaw and trying to achieve the balance that meant we and our friends could sit on opposite ends of the board, suspended in the air without the board moving up or down? To achieve such a balance we had to have only one thing in common with our friend: similar body weight.

Tonight we're still on that seesaw. We've spent our day trying to balance all that came our way. Some things may have weighed us down; others may have buoyed us in the air. Through living each day, we've learned that neither the high nor the low stays around long enough to tip the balance too far.

No matter what sits down on the opposite end of our board of life, we need to remember achieving balance is the important thing. When we are balanced, it means we have equalized both the good and the bad with our strength, hope, faith, and security.

The center of the board of life never moves. Help me to keep this center within me tonight.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Equal chances

So-called hopeless ones exist in almost every Twelve Step group. Included on this list are people who seem different from us. We feel that our chances of recovery are better than theirs. Sometimes our minds twist the facts so that we can feel superior.

Do we forget that we have all abused mind-altering chemicals? Do we forget that our common bond is a loving Higher Power, as we understand it—not our background, sexual orientation, age, or mental state? Our situations are many and varied. Anyone who has the desire to stay clean and sober and to start by being honest can make it.

Our Higher Power loves all of us, and we all have equal chances.

Do I extend my hand to all, even those I see as different from myself?

Higher Power, help me to see every person as being loved by his or her Higher Power.

Today I will work on my prejudices by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.

~ HANNAH ARENDT ~

Newcomer

I have something to do that terrifies me. I've talked about it with other people, but nothing has taken away the fear. They make it sound easy, but then I hang up the phone, and it's as scary as ever. Other people don't really get it anyway; it's not the kind of thing everyone else is afraid of—it's something that I've always found hard. I wish I weren't such a coward.

Sponsor

We all have fears, and though rational discussion helps some of the time, it doesn't always remove them. What does work is taking the required action. Whether it's taking one of the Twelve Steps, auditioning for a part in a play, making love without drugs or alcohol, or simply making a dreaded phone call, when we begin to take actions in spite of the fear we feel, we are changed.

In our old days of active addiction, we missed out on opportunities to grow through doing what we found difficult. We may have avoided challenges by doing nothing, or by using addictive substances to foster numbness or defiance. Without the healthy kind of fear that we need for survival, we may have taken life-endangering risks.

Fear doesn't make us cowards. There is no courage without fear. If we fear nothing, we never have the experience of walking through our fears and letting our spirits expand.

Today, I walk through a fear; as I take action, I experience my courage.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We are all subjects to the habit of imagining a lot of needs and desires that we would not actually want if we stopped and gave the matter some thought. List those needs sometime and then think them over carefully. A yacht would be mighty nice in the summer but it's a pest in the winter. A fat bank account takes more thought and hard work to keep than it ever did to acquire. It is much nicer to just let your friends have these things and you be their guest.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Willingness and Action

God, help me remember that willingness without action is fantasy. I have left my fantasy life behind with my active addiction. The best way to get ready for action is to pray. Prayer makes me ready for success. Sometimes my prayers tell me to go right or left. Sometimes they just tell me to stand and wait for instructions. When I am willing to pray, I am willing to act. When I am willing, I am filled with prayer. Prayer always comes before action.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE

In the spiritual teaching we are told not to dwell upon our troubles, but instead, to realize the Presence of God where the troubles seem to be. Critics have suggested that this policy is "running away from life." Is it?

Suppose you found yourself in a house that was on fire; what would you do? You would leave the burning building as rapidly as possible. Would this be running away from life? Would it not rather be seeking life?

Sickness, sin, fear, and limitation—these things are not life—they are partial death; and they are to be overcome by turning toward life, which is divine harmony.

To turn away from evil and realize God instead is to liberate yourself, to help the world, and to glorify God.

Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth . . . (Isaiah 45:22).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Truth and Consequences

The essence of communication is intention.

~ Werner Erhard ~

While speaking with a woman whose partner had just left their relationship to marry another woman, she asked me, “Did you know that Walter was once in jail for embezzling?” No, I hadn’t known that. “I just thought you should know the truth about him,” she added. Her comments struck me as harsh and out of context. Reflecting on her position, I understood that she felt wounded by this man, and this was her way of retaliating or justifying her loss. But it was not truth that she was seeking to offer; it was injury.

Many a disservice has been rendered in the name of “telling the truth.” What use is telling the truth if our intention is to cause pain? The truth, like a knife, can be used to perform life-saving surgery or to maim. It is a power that must be used with consciousness, forethought, and service.

To make a rule that we must always tell all facts, thoughts, and feeling, is to open the door to unnecessary pain. Higher than any factual truth is the truth that we are loving beings, here to support one another in healing and awakening. If someone is not ready to hear a truth, or it would hurt them emotionally or damage them socially to speak it, we must yield to service rather than a rote rule.
Before speaking truth to someone, ask yourself some important ques–tions: What is my intention in offering this? How would I prefer to hear such a truth spoken to me? Am I truly seeking to communicate, or am I “dumping ” to relieve myself of upset or guilt? What do I want to come of this situation? How can I best serve everyone involved?

Consult your heart; it will guide you to offer truth in the highest way possible.

Guide me to speak healing words, that I may be closer to my brothers and sisters.

I use the truth to heal and bring peace.