[bluidkiti]

May 5

Step by Step

" ...our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, p 103

Today, accept that I and I alone am responsible for my problems, that I and I alone am responsible for being an alcoholic and that I and I alone can identify and correct the "symbol" on which my addiction is based. If I lost a job, spouse or partner because of drinking and I continued drinking or began to drink to "cope" with resentment or a sense of loss, the problem is my handling of those feelings, not the situations themselves. Anger and resentment, then, are the "symbol" of my defective character, and it is that defect which I must identify in my Fourth and hand over to my higher power in the Sixth and Seventh steps. Something must replace the void when anger and resentment are relinquished, however, and the service edict of the 12th Step - carrying the message to other alcoholics - suffices in turning my attention from myself to others who need and want the message. Today, I accept that I am responsible for my problems and that I and I alone am responsible to their consequences. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

A WAY OF LIFE

The 12 Step way of life is meant to be bread for daily living, not cake for special occasions.

~ Anonymous ~

The glow of early recovery usually wears off after a little while. The pink cloud of “wow, this is the greatest thing I have ever run into” subsides after time in the Program. We are called to action at some point. There is much work ahead of us in recovery. This is not the kind of work that can be crammed into a couple of weekend follow-ups. The Fellowship is a way of life.

When we checked the last time, live was still lived one day at a time. Recovery is a bond we make with ourselves, before God, for the rest of our lives. We are reminded, “them which stops going to meetings are not present at meetings to hear what happens to them which stops going to meetings!”

I may have begun recovery to get the “heat” off my back, but I have learned the Program is a way of life for the rest of my life.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Don’t brood on what’s past, but never forget it either.

~ Thomas H. Raddall ~

When we make big changes in our lives for the better, as we have all done, we naturally grieve the time we lost by not learning our lessons sooner. There’s no way to avoid that grief, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. Some of us get hooked by feelings of regret. We brood over the ways we let others down, and we wish we could relive certain events and do better with them this time. It is important for us all to release the past—let it go.

Our life is now. If we spend our conscious moments living in the past and regretting our mistakes, we never get on with living a good life in the present. A truly humble man accepts the forgiveness of others and the forgiveness of his Higher Power. He accepts the universal truth that we are all broken in some ways, and our self-acceptance isn’t based upon what we did or didn’t do in the past, but on how we live today.

Today I look back at where I have come from and feel grateful for a new life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My daily choice is to rise and shine or rise and whine.

~ Anonymous ~

Complaining about every detail of our lives seems so natural. We always have a preconception about what “should be.” Then, of course, “what is” is never quite right. But it is possible to change this pattern of thinking. Contrary to what we may have believed up until now, this pattern is made by us. It doesn’t happen to us.

At first it may seem overwhelming to try to change a behavior that is so rooted in who we are. And we’ll continue the pattern many times every day, for weeks, maybe months, before we break it. But the point is that we can change. Every time we decide to respond positively to a situation, we succeed.

Time, patience, and practice will make new habits old ones. Willingness to try again every time we fail will prove this to us.

I will not whine today. If I start, I’ll stop myself and say something positive instead.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am forgiving myself

Without the understanding and strength I gained doing the first three Steps, I couldn’t have begun to work Step Four. Here, I start to look at the people I have hurt−myself among them− and the damage I have done. It is a difficult process that I wish I could put off. But I cannot.

Sometimes I feel badly about myself during this “fearless and searching” review. But it will help if I work on Step Four a little at a time and remind myself that what I am doing in the program is the best thing I have ever done for myself (or others). I am changing, growing, recovering. Knowing that I’m doing what I need to do and feeling better gives me strength for my Fourth Step inventory.

I will work a little on Step Four today and write out an affirmation that reads, “I am learning to accept and forgive myself.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You should go to a pear tree for pears, not an elm.

~ Publilius Syrus ~

Before, our social life probably revolved around people and places where alcohol and drugs were available. Now, some days can be full of conflict until we find a new life where temptation isn’t a problem. It does no good to waste time wishing we could be with old friends and enjoy that old excitement. We gave in to temptation many times before, and the results were always the same.

No matter how serene we feel, chances are a time will come when we’re just too discouraged, too depressed, or too disgusted to fight the urge to have “just one more” binge. We may recover from that relapse — but we may not. So for us, there is only one choice.

Once we make that choice, a whole new world is waiting for us, with things we never dreamed we could be part of. Every city in the country has free or low-cost places to visit, things to do. Old hobbies and interests we gave up years ago seem interesting again. People are waiting out there for us, too. Once we thought everybody was living in chaos just like us. Now we know the world is full of clean and sober people just waiting for us to join them.

Today help me look for the good things in life. Help me stay open to new possibilities.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Confusion is a word we have invented for an order which is not understood.

~ Henry Miller ~

Recovery is a process of gaining better understanding of the truth about your addiction and how it affected your life and the lives of others, the truth about how the tools of the program work, and the truth that arises from gaining greater knowledge and understanding.

You may find that many things in the past that you once accepted as truth are now untrue, such as lies you told yourself or things that were covered up by others. Sometimes it may seem that you are trying to re-learn so many things that it is easy to become confused and overwhelmed, and to feel a bit lost.

It is easy to lose your way as you follow the path to recovery. It is not unusual to feel frightened and alone. At such times, others in the program will be there for you. They will pay attention to your confusion and be honest with you. Your Higher Power will also listen to you and guide you toward the truth. All you need to do is ask for guidance from others and pray for God’s guidance, and you will find the truth.

When I feel lost, the truth of others, the truth of the program, and the truth of my Higher Power will lead me back to safety.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You would do well to budget your time as follows: one-half in work, taking care of personal belongings, etc.; one-fourth in social pastimes with others, both young and old; and one-fourth as an interested, pleased observer of life.

~ William B. Terhune ~

Every life needs a balance of work, play, and rest. When we're not at work, we need to pursue other interests like hobbies, socializing, going to movies. When we're not at work and not pursuing an interest, we need to rest. Resting doesn't mean just sleeping. Resting is also meditating, listening to relaxing music, or watching the birds at our bird feeders.

Our financial budget tells us where our money is spent. Our time budget can do the same thing. By noticing where we spend most of our time, we can make sure all our time isn’t spent doing just work, just play, or just rest.

I can look at my time budget and ask: “Where haven't I spent any time lately?" I need to use my time doing something l haven't done to balance my budget.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Acknowledging addiction’s power

We talk about mood-altering chemicals as cunning, baffling, and powerful. And it’s true—there are many subtle, sly ways in which we set ourselves up to use again. For example, if we preferred one drug, we might try to convince ourselves that it was okay to use a different one. Or, we might say, “Well, I just didn’t know it was so dangerous.” Some of us just keep hanging around our using “friends.”

We may use many tricky, deceitful plans on ourselves in order to go back to using, even though we know these behaviors are dangerous. Even though we know that by setting ourselves up time and again we will only succeed in destroying our program.

Have I stopped setting myself up?

Higher Power, look out for me when I’m not capable of doing so.

Today I will remind myself of addiction’s power by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

No one's career plans include becoming an addict....

~ JEFFREY SKINNER ~

Newcomer

I had a haircut today. The hairdresser had just come back from Holland, where certain drugs are legal, and he talked about “space cakes”—cakes filled with marijuana and hashish—that he’d eaten on the plane instead of drinking. I said that I didn’t drink any more, and that the thought of flying made me anxious. He said, “Well, you can have a Valium, can’t you?” I just nodded. For a moment, it seemed reasonable.

Sponsor

Watching people use, or listening to them refer casually to drugs or behavior that for us is poison, can be disturbing. We may envy these people. We may try to explain ourselves to them. We may mistakenly try to save them, even when they haven’t shown any signs of identifying their behavior or substance use as a problem of addiction.

We can save ourselves a lot of trouble by not trying to diagnose other people’s problems. We can share stories about encounters like yours in a meeting, where everyone will laugh with recognition. Above all, we can remember, as you did, that there is no room in a life of recovery for any sort of self-prescribed mood changer.

Today, I live and let live. I respect my recovery and don’t have to explain or justify it to anyone.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we emerge from under our tons of troubles, get back on our feet and begin to live like other folks again, we somehow feel that the world has become a better place and that when our troubles vanished, all troubles vanished and there were few, if any, left in the world.

The store of world troubles is as great now as ever—only different people are having them. If you have no troubles of your own go out and find somebody else’s. They are not half so hard to carry and your heart and soul need the exercise.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

MY BILL OF RIGHTS

I have the right to be treated with respect.
I have the right to say no and not feel guilty.
I have the right to experience and express my feelings.
I have the right to take time for myself.
I have the right to change my mind.
I have the right to ask for what I want.
I have the right to ask for information.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I have the right to less than I am humanly capable of.
I have the right to feel good about myself.
I have the right to act only in ways that promote my dignity and self-respect as long as others are not violated in the process.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DISSIPATING EVIL

If somebody comes into the room at home, or into the office or shop, looking as if he meant to make trouble, just try switching your attention straight to the Divine, instead of squaring up aggressively to meet the difficulty or shrinking away to avoid it, according to your temperament. You will be amused and gratified to see the anger fade from the subject’s face (which will mean it has faded from his heart too) and quite a different expression take its place.

I have myself seen several cases where men, and on two occasions, children, were actually fighting, and upon a spectator’s “turning the cheek” the strife ceased like magic. Animals respond even more easily to this treatment than do human beings. I have seen two instances where dogs were fighting savagely and all efforts to separate them had failed, when the realization of the Presence of God’s love in all His creatures restored peace. In one case it took several minutes’ work; in the other it was practically instantaneous.

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Gambling for God

Do as the heavens have done, forget your evil.

~ from A Winter’s Tale, by William Shakespeare ~

A man knocked feverishly on the rabbi’s door one morning. “Rabbi, I came to tell you that Shlomo, Samuel, and Ben were up all night gambling!”

“Wonderful!” exclaimed the rabbi.

Shocked, the man complained, “How can you say that? It is against the laws of our religion to gamble!”

“I know,” answered the sage, “but these men are finding the energy to stay awake to do something they love. When their hearts turn to love the Lord, they will have the ability to stay up all night to serve God.” We cannot judge or condemn another person’s act because we do not know how it fits into the bigger picture of their life or the lives of those they touch. At any given moment, we see only a tiny sliver of a huge jigsaw puzzle that only makes sense on a level that is broader than any human being can understand.

Ultimately, every experience contributes to spiritual awakening. The Holy Spirit sees only love, and when we lift our vision, we behold a miraculous universe.

Help me to see all persons and events in the loving light of spiritual perception.

My eyes are God's eyes. I exchange judgment for compassion and look upon a forgiven world.