[bluidkiti]

May 8

Step by Step

"Resentment is the 'number one' offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else." - Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 64

Today, admitting that I may have little success in letting go of all my resentments, I re-examine that character defect to identify what or who I resent - and why. If I resent or envy others who can drink or I cannot accept the rest of my life without drinking, my resentment is likely against alcoholism itself - in which case I have fallen short in admitting I am powerless. I may resent that something stronger than me - alcohol - is what I cannot control. Or I may resent the ex-boss or estranged spouse or partner who will not rehire or come back to me even if I have stopped drinking. But whatever or whoever I resent, I cannot control what controls me, and I will never again drink to "handle it." In the end, if the root of my resentments is grounded in the disease of alcoholism, I need again to fully accept that I have no control over it and, instead of battling addiction, I will embrace being clean and sober. Today, instead of a recovering drunk, I am sober alcoholic. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EXPECT A MIRACLE

Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens.

~ Anonymous ~

When we came into the Program, most of us had very little to show for our lives. We believed in nothing. We had experienced great disappointments. The greedy creditor that was our addiction had stripped away everything of meaning to us. We were left with nothing but pain and misery.

Now we hear incredible stories of recovery. People tell how, by following certain simple instructions and honestly working a Program, they were freed from the grasp of their addiction.

Every once in awhile we hear a story that sounds remarkably like our own. We are told that through the work and help of a Higher Power, we too can receive a miracle.

The most important miracle I can expect and count on each day is the freedom from my addiction. I can trust that if I stay close to the Program, the miracle will be repeated, one day at a time.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

~ Ralph Hodgson ~

Under the guidance of this recovery program we “came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Coming to believe something is a process. It might begin by borrowing someone else’s faith, trying it on as we might try on a shirt. We don’t start with a firm conviction. We don’t grow instantly from no faith to absolute faith. It might begin by seeing that forces are at work beyond our control, easing our terrible cravings or supporting us through the worst times.

Sometimes faith develops very slowly, like the first sprout of an acorn in the spring. At our meetings we encounter men who are like mighty oaks, but years ago, they were just beginning to send up tender sprouts. This process certainly takes us beyond what we can explain with rational description. We don’t have to understand it.

Today I am grateful for the faith that allows me to see what I could not otherwise see.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If one is going to be truthful, one has to be very tender.

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

Honesty is always the best policy, right? We glibly recite that saying, but it’s important to reevaluate its meaning when we are eager to correct or direct the actions of other people. If being honest will unnecessarily harm them, perhaps being silent is better.

The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.

Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.

I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am letting go of my low mood

I feel somewhat better this week. It is hard to describe (and it doesn’t quite make sense), but it feels like I am actually getting tired of being depressed. I feel worn out, as if purged of pain.

Even though I still have some symptoms to deal with, I believe that, for the first time, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I can see that I am less obsessed with my problems. Maybe I can let go of some of this heaviness and darkness. It would be a relief.

I will do one fun activity today and wear bright clothes to enhance my spirits.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength.

~ Proverbs 24:5 ~

Relapse so often seems to begin with over-estimating our strengths and underestimating our weaknesses. The seeds of relapse are planted long before the actual event. Addiction is too strong for us; we must work hard to arrest it. If recovery is to become a lifetime experience, it’s our job to learn our limits and avoid things that can frighten, tempt, or bully us into relapse. We can start by learning to recognize areas that are dangerous for us. We can ask ourselves, how solid is our Twelve Step program? Are we going to meetings, or avoiding them? Have we chosen a sponsor? Are we following the recommended Steps of recovery?

During active addiction, we couldn’t make sane choices. But, now, every day, we’re getting healthy again, and we can avoid relapse. Asking for help from our Higher Power and Twelve Step group will give us the support and the answers we need. As we grow in recovery, we learn how to build on our strengths, not our weaknesses. One day at a time, we are changing and finding love.

Today help me see my behavior clearly, and recognize when I’m in danger.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There’s folks ’ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i’ their boots.

~ George Eliot ~

Who do you blame for where you are today? Perhaps you blame your parents because they were addicts and passed on the disease to you. Maybe you blame a family member for giving you your first drink or experience with a drug. Or maybe you blame a friend who encouraged you to toss aside your studies and responsibilities so you could join them in partying or acting out.

But when you use your recovery as a time to blame others or to seek a scapegoat to point to for causing your addiction, you are only hurting yourself. Blame serves no useful purpose. It is a set of blinders you put on so you cannot see that your recovery is your responsibility. Recovery is not about blaming, but about fixing. Blaming anything or anyone for your addiction only prolongs your misery and keeps you from focusing on how to achieve a better way of living.

Whether it was genes, choice, or circumstances that got you to where you are today, it truly does not matter. You alone are responsible for your recovery.

Today I will not play the blame game. I accept that I am an addict and will do the work I need to do so I can be a recovering addict.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.

~ Pamela Vaull Starr ~

It has been said that if we tell ourselves what we'd like to dream about before we go to sleep, we can teach ourselves to dream our own dreams. Rather than letting our confusing dreams puzzle us or our nightmares frighten us, we can train our minds to think positive thoughts while we're resting. After a night of positive dreaming, we are more likely to wake up refreshed and ready to continue thinking positively.

Tonight we can prepare our dream by visualizing what it will be. We can close our eyes and see ourselves doing whatever we want to do or be whoever we want to be. Immediately alter this visualization, with it fresh in our minds, we can then lie down to sleep with the positive thoughts of the dream in our heads. Such positive thinking is one giant step toward an affirmation of ourselves.

What will I dream tonight? I can imagine the most positive thing and let it become a part of my sleeping thoughts.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Sticking to the basics

If we don’t stick to the basics, we’ll lose sight of who we are and where we came from. We are not perfect, spiritual giants. We’re drunks, junkies, and pill heads who have found a solution to our living problem, a practical solution to an impractical lifestyle.

And if we forget the basics—where we come from, working the Steps, and attending meetings—we may be subject to unrealistic ideals and illusions. These can get in the way of recovery.

Do I keep it simple?

Higher Power, help me to keep it simple and stick to the basics.

Today I’ll be sure to stick to the basics by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Speak boldly, and speak truly, shame the devil.

~ JOHN FLETCHER ~

Newcomer

Last time I shared at a meeting, I felt foolish. There were other people in the room whose troubles were so much more serious than mine. I hate the sound of whining. I don’t want to be like that.

Sponsor

Sharing and listening to others share are the principal tools we have for staying in recovery. Though we may not get to share at every meeting we attend, it’s necessary to share often, and from the heart. It relieves the pressure inside us that we might otherwise be tempted to relieve by picking up our drug of choice. It’s wonderful that you’re putting your hand up and talking honestly about your experience And feelings as recovery continues. It’s required.

At meetings, I haven’t heard much of what some call whining, though I’ve certainly heard people in pain. We may sometimes sound as if we’re stuck in the same place for a while, but in time, we change. If we’re following the path of recovery, growth is inevitable. Neither we nor anyone else can gain anything in recovery by judging a person’s rate of growth or comparing one person’s healing process with another.

Today, I participate in restoring my own and others' health by sharing.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We have to think our way out of the quagmire we drank ourselves into. No one led us there and no one can lead us out. The older members can give you a few clues or hints but in the final analysis you have to figure it out for yourself in order to get permanent results.

You will find as you travel up that long road alone, however, that you have a host of real friends on the sidelines to cheer you on your way.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

THE TOUCH OF THE MASTER’S HAND

It was battered and scarred and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste his time on the old violin,
But he held it up with a smile.
“What am I bid, good people?” he cried.
“Who starts the bidding for me?
One dollar? One dollar. Do I hear two?
Two dollars. Who makes it three?
Three dollars once, three dollars twice,
Going for three . . .” But no!
From the room, far back, a gray-bearded man
Came forward and picked up the bow.
Then wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody, pure and sweet,
As sweet as the angel sings.
The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, “What now am I bid for this old violin?”
As he held it aloft with its bow.
“One thousand? One thousand, do I hear two?
Two thousand. Who makes it three?
Three thousand once, three thousand twice,
Going and gone!” said he.
The audience cheered, but some of them cried,
“We just don’t understand.
What changed its worth?” Swift came the reply,
“The touch of the master’s hand.”
And many a man, with life out of tune,
All battered with bourbon and gin,
Is auctioned cheap, to a thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,
A game, and he travels on.
He is going once, he is going twice,
He is going, and almost gone.
But the Master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul, the change that is wrought,
By the Touch of the Master’s Hand.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NONRESISTANCE

When you fight a thing you antagonize it and it hits back. The harder you fight it the harder it hits. When you give your attention to anything, you are building that thing into your consciousness, for good or evil.

A story is told about William Penn. He had been accustomed from boyhood to carry a sword because it was part of the dress of a gentleman at that period. One day it occurred to him that this was inconsistent with his Quakerism; but on the other hand he knew that he would feel extremely embarrassed without it. So he consulted George Fox, never doubting what his leader would say, “you must stop wearing it.” George Fox was silent for a few moments, and then said, “Carry thy sword until thou canst no longer carry it.”

A year or so later Penn discontinued the practice quite easily.

When you are faced with some negative condition, withdrawal your attention from it by building the opposite into your subconscious. Then the undesirable thing falls away like an overripe fruit.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Case for Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the only sane response.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Successful attorney Michael Rembolt was dealing with an especially grisly divorce case. Both parties were making huge demands, and neither seemed willing to yield. When Michael sat down to pray on the morning of the court date, he remembered a lesson from A Course in Miracles: "Forgiveness offers me everything I want." He began to send prayers of forgiveness to his client and her husband. These thoughts felt so good that he extended his blessings to the opposing attorney, and then to the judge and everyone else scheduled for court that day. Michael arose from his prayer feeling a deep peace.

When he arrived at court that morning, Michael found no one there. He went to the judge’s office to find out what had happened, and the magistrate asked him, “Didn’t your secretary tell you that your client settled out of court?”

“That’s amazing!” Michael responded.

“What’s even more amazing,” the judge went on, “is that we had 32 cases on the docket today, and every one of them settled out of court!” Forgiveness is not just a wimpy act of withholding an attack for a wrongdoing; it is a dynamic, creative, and practical force that has the power to manifest miracles. When we let go of judgment, we free ourselves to enjoy a peace that surpasses anything the world has to offer. The power of forgiveness is misunderstood and underused. It is a sacred gift employed by those who recognize that their true safety comes not from worldly manipulation, but from faith in a higher power. There is nothing in this world that cannot be healed by forgiveness.

Give me the strength to extend pure love and release to everyone I meet. I trust You to take care of me as I let go of my fears that would prompt attack. I take refuge in blessing, that I may live in a forgiven world.

I forgive and I am forgiven. My world reflects the beauty of heaven because I love as God loves.