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February 3

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole . . . nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it . . .. It was a hobbithole, and that means comfort. --J. R. R. Talking
Home is a place of comfort. When we go away and have to adjust to a different bed and someone else's cooking, we quickly discover how comfortable our own home is. Comfort in a home is more than just a familiar bed and favorite food; it is something we can give to each other. We can make home a place where we can relax and be ourselves without fear of rejection.
Each of us needs a special little place where we can come and seek refuge from the world, our own little "fort." Children are often busy making "forts," but all of us in the family need to work at making the place where we live together a fort where we can all gather for rest.
What can I add to our comfort today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Compassion is ... a spirituality and a way of living and walking through life. It is the way we treat all there is in life ourselves, our bodies, our imaginations and dreams, our neighbors, our enemies.... Compassion is a spirituality as if creation mattered. It is treating all creation as holy and as divine..., which is what it is. --Matthew Fox
In our search for growth, serenity, and contentment, we can start at a very practical level. Simply treat ourselves, inside and out, and everything around us in a respectful and caring way. Many men have not learned how to do that. Some of us have learned to accept abuse and pain, or to be tough and abusive.
We can learn about being in a healthy relationship, about befriending ourselves and others and all of creation. With practice, we will learn more and more about having compassion. As we do, our self-centeredness and our self-pity will fall away.
Today, I will be compassionate toward each of the details of creation, and practice acceptance both within and. outside myself.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Rejecting Shame
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't okay. Shame is a no win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can't change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame's trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it's okay to be who I am.


I am no longer a victim of my past. I am free to move in new directions today. I am at choice in my life. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Break Through Your Resistance

We sometimes resist new lessons. And what we resist the most is likely to be what we most need to learn.

Our lessons usually come with inner conflict. The action we should be taking, the idea we should be learning is sometimes hidden behind a wall of resistance. There’s a border, a barrier we need to cross to get into the heart of the lesson. Most times, that barrier is within us. Lessons require us to let go of old feelings, old beliefs. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be lessons. We’d already know them. Sometimes, the very thing we feel guiltiest about doing, the place we’re most resistant to visiting, the person we’re most convinced we shouldn’t contact, or the behavior we’re tormenting ourselves most about is exactly what we need to be doing.

And more often than not, the lesson we’re learning is not what we think it is. We need to embrace the surprise element of life– embrace the mystery of life as it unfolds, as the lessons appear, as we grow and change.

Do what you need to do to break through your resistance. Often that means simply seeing your resistance for what it is. Remember that the point of greatest resistance is often the place of greatest learning.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Deal with panic and anxiety

I can still remember the day. It was shortly after my divorce. I was a single parent with no money, and two young children. It came upon me suddenly, out of the blue. I couldn’t breathe. My chest hurt. My heart hurt. I couldn’t stop it. I panicked. The more I panicked, the worst it got.

I called 911. The ambulance came. They gave me some oxygen, then politely told me not to worry; it was just a panic attack. I had experienced another one of those attacks, a long time ago. Right after I first married the children’s father, I had shut myself down from anxiety. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak from the fear I felt.

Many people experience panic and anxiety attacks. Maybe it’s happened to you. Maybe you’ve had only one or two incidents of it; maybe panic and anxiety make regular appearances in your life. Most people I’ve met have experienced fear.

These are a few little clues I’ve learned that have helped me to deal with my own attacks.

. Breathe. Whenever you panic, our breath comes in shallow, awkward spurts. Be deliberately breathing slowly and calmly, we can slow our panc down. We feed it by breathing fast. We put our bodies on hyperalert. If we breath as though we’re relaxed, our bodies will start slowing down.

. Don’t respond to your panic with more fear. Sometimes we double what we’re going through by having an emotional reaction to our initial reaction. We’re afraid, because we’re feeling fear. Let yourself go through the original feeling without reacting to yourself.

. Instead of focusing on your fear, let yourself be aware that you’re feeling it, but deliberately do something that calms you down. You won’t want to do this. Your panic will want you to do something else, something that feeds panic and makes it grow. Do something calming and quiet, even though that activity doesn’t feel right to you. It could be reading a meditation, listening to some quiet music, taking a shower, or saying a prayer. We all have things that help calm us down. Find something that works for you.

If panic and anxiety are a continual problem, seek professional help. But if they are only isolated incidents in your life, you may be able to help yourself.
One tool that has never let me down when it comes to anxiety and fear is working Step One of the Twelve Step program. I admit that I’m powerless over my panic and fear, and my life has become unamangeable. Then I ask God what I need to do next.

Don’t let your fears run your life. Make it a goal to get through them. Ask them what they’re trying to tell you. You may be on a path that’s new, and your body is just reacting to that. There may be a hidden emotion underneath all this fear, something you’d rather not see. Or maybe you and your life are just changing so fast that everything in your world is brand new. Be gentle and loving with yourself and others.

God, help me welcome all the new experiences in my life. Give me the courage to calmly walk my path today, knowing I’m right where I need to be.

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Restorative Slumber
The Importance of Napping

As we focus on the many obligations we gladly undertake in order to create the lives we want, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. We’re compelled by both external and internal pressures to be productive during many of our waking hours. While this can lead to great feats of accomplishment, it also disrupts the body’s natural cycles and leaves us craving rest. Napping represents a pleasurable remedy to this widespread sleep deprivation. Though judged by many as a pastime of little children or the lazy, the need for a nap is a trait that all mammals share and an acceptable part of the day in many countries. It is also a free and effortless way to improve our health and lift our spirits. A nap is relaxing and can improve our mood, vision, reflexes, and memory.

Lack of sleep, whether ongoing or the result of a single night’s wakefulness, puts stress on the body and mind. It can negatively impact your physical and mental health. At one time, napping was considered a natural part of life. In the past hundred years, however, electricity and modern conveniences have provided us with more time to engage in personal and professional activities. Consequently there is now less time for sleep. A mere ten minutes of sleep in the middle of the day can leave you feeling more cheerful and alert. A half-hour long nap can sharpen your senses and refresh your energy reserves, and a shorter nap can even sustain you through a long day. Napping can help you make up for lost sleep and serves as a supplement to your usual sleep schedule. You may need to give yourself permission to nap by making naptime a part of your day.

Feelings of guilt about napping or being preoccupied with other activities can keep you awake when you are trying to take a nap. If you need help, surround yourself with soft pillows and blankets or soothing music. Try to take a nap at the same time each day and use an alarm clock to ensure that you don’t fall into too deep a sleep. Learning to nap and enjoying its benefits can help you reclaim your natural right to nap. You nourish your being every time you take a nap. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

The Program enables us to discover two roadblocks that keep us from seeing the value and comfort of the spiritual approach: self-justification and self-righteousness. The first grimly assures me that I’m always right. The second mistakenly comforts me with the delusion that I’m better than other people — “holier than thou.” Just for Today, will I pause abruptly while rationalizing and ask myself, “Why am I doing this? Is this self-justification really honest?”

Today I Pray

May I overcome the need to be “always right” and know the cleansing feeling of release that comes with admitting, openly, a mistake. May I be wary of setting myself up as an example of self-control and fortitude, and give credit where it is due — to a Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

To err is human, but I need to admit it.

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One More Day

Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem…. – Eric Hoffer

Wouldn’t it be nice if our self-esteem could be as firmly rooted as our personalities seem to have been by the time we started school? Unfortunately that’s not often the case. Self-esteem is very delicate and remains subject to the whims of all external circumstances including how people act toward us and how we react, in turn, to them.

An illness that changes how we look or how we think of ourselves can be continually demanding. Fighting the battle to maintain a good self-image requires adjustments of our time and goals. Making these adjustments turns our disappointments into chances for success.

I must continue to work on being a whole person and try to develop all my facets — spiritual, emotional, and physical.