[MajestyJo]

The Blueprint to Progress is an excellent Step Four format and I had a lady here, who has been in AA for 20+ years confirm this.

When I share, I always tell people that they need to do a Step Four to get rid of the darkness so the light of reason can shine. This means taking an inventory of good and bad, what I need to change, what needs adjusting, what needs improvement, and what needs totally discarded. I looked at it as if I was doing an inventory of a warehouse.

I am a sick person trying to get well, not a bad person trying to get better. I was told to start with a resentment sheet because the whole picture could be very overwhelming. I was also told that for every negative I HAD TO FIND A POSITIVE!!!

In the Big Book it talks about the anger, resentment, guilt and fear because they are the big offenders which often takes people back out if not addressed. A lot of people "stay sick" because they aren't willing to look at themselves. That is why we used in the first place, we could not look and be with ourselves. We have a dis-ease! More than a drinking and drugging problem, I have a thinking problem. I haven't used for twelve years, but I still need to live in today.

I did a Step Four every eighteen months to two years up until I was six years sober, then I did a verbal one with a therapist from then until now; in fact, that reminds me I need to call her and resume our meetings which we dropped over the holiday season.

I have had new "defects" develop that I didn't know had in early recovery. I had new spiritual awakenings and new awareness as a result of working the step, from the time I did the original ones, and I needed to address the issues which I had buried and hadn't been able to look at previously.

For me this is a one day at a time program, that means I work the steps, one day at a time. Some people say ten, eleven and twelve are maintenance steps, and they are, but I had to do a Step Ten in early recovery in order to live long enough to find the courage and lose the fear to do a Fourth Step. The honesty didn't come until later. I had to make a conscious contact with the God of my understanding, in order to work the steps, and that consciousness grew. I had to go to meetings, which for me is Step Twelve work, sharing my experience, strength and hope. I didn't wait until I worked all the steps to work these maintenance steps.

As far as ego goes, I got up to speak at my home group one night and said, "I just found out I have an ego, I thought it was a male thing!" You should have seen the look on the faces in the audience.

AA does have it's own Fourth Step Guide. One that I saw, which was quite lengthy and very detailed in dealing with emotions was from Adult Children of Alcoholics.

When we come into recovery, most of what we feel is the negative ones and don't know what the good ones are. When we stuff the anger and the hurt, we don't have the luxury of keeping the love and kindness, everything disappears and we become spiritually, emotionally, and mentally bancrupt and well as the physical malady of this disease.

I remember when I was going through a recovery house and this girl would say to me, "But how do you feeeellllllll????" I always wanted to hit her, lash out because I didn't know. I use to respond with, "I don't know, if I did, I wouldn't be asking!"

What I heard most in AA was follow the questions as they are asked in the Big Book in How It Works in chapter five. I also heard a priest who has 50 years in recovery say, this is a today program, the inventory is about today. Things from your past which you are still carrying in today and need to let go of the excess baggage in order to grow and move on in your recovery.


Quote:
Sometimes when a post is long, I put it in large print. I realize it is also because I am old and read better when things are in large print. I know how to enlarge the print or make it smaller by pressing Ctrl + or -, but then I forget! I know that if I get a long page of small print, I seldom read it. It has to catch my attention in the first paragraph or I am out of there. Now that is an example of a 4th and 5th Step.

Luv...Jo