Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.
Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover
what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We
want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires
have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness
this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what
our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their
correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this,
there can be little sobriety or contentment for us. Without a
searching and fearless moral inventory, most of us have
found that the faith which really works in daily living is still
out of reach.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 42-43
It was important for me to have the self-honesty and really look at myself. It was also good to balance the liabilities with good characteristics so I didn't beat myself up. It was important to know that I wasn't a bad person trying to be good but a sick person wanting to get well.
AA Recovery Steps 4, 5, 6, and 7.
How can I change if I don't take an inventory of what is in the moment. When I take that inventory, we can take it to our sponsor, clergyman, counsellor, etc. to share my finding and they can give me new insight. Remember it is a fearless inventory, if the fear is there, go back to Step 3. Pray for the willingness to be willing.
Step 6 for me in my thoughts and the thinking behind my dis-ease. The shortcomings, is acting them out and not trying to change. All I am asked to do is try, the failure isn't doing and failing, but in not trying. As we grow in recovery, we have a new perspective, a new awareness, new self-honesty, and a more humble spirit, instead of looking at my life with humiliation.
I am not my disease. It is a one day at a time program. Each day I get a new opportunity to practice and become a better me.