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January 3

Step by Step

“We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals – usually brief – were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period, we get worse, never better.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 3 (“More About Alcoholism”), p 30.

Today, conceding to “our innermost selves” that we are alcoholic is the first step in recovery. Without that admission, every attempt to stop drinking is doomed to failure: our private drinking histories are mute testimony to that. But if we can finally admit to ourselves that we are alcoholic, the answer to the next logical question – Why do I have to quit altogether instead of cutting back? – is obvious: alcoholism is a progressive condition that is never cured and, when fed, gets worse. But alcoholism can be arrested, and the only guaranteed method is total abstinence. Today, if I still struggle that the drinking problem I clearly have has progressed into alcoholism, I have to retreat within my innermost self in absolute honesty and, if I acknowledge the obvious answer, AA awaits me, just for the asking. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GIVE WITH HUMILITY

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good act in secret and have it found out by accident.

~ Anonymous ~

There is one bit of advice that is given in many ways to those of us in recovery. That advice is that we should give to others without looking for any credit for our generosity. To give something for the sheer joy of giving is the strongest step we can take in achieving the humility that is so vital to us. Humility is essential to our spiritual progress, and our spiritual progress is a necessary part of our recovery.

The encouragement to serve without seeking praise comes to us in many forms and many places. Ancient wisdom advises us not to let our right hand know what our left hand is doing, and not to “sound a trumpet” to announce a good deed.

Let me learn to give without seeking credit. This is a humble act. It will result in the uplifting reward of humility which is vital to my spiritual growth.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.

~ Andre Maurois ~

Conflict is not bad; it is necessary. In any good, intimate partnership, the two people reveal themselves to each other. As they reveal themselves, their differences sometimes are interesting and enjoyable and sometimes create conflict. A good conflict is open and honest and without ego. When one person reveals his or her thoughts, the other person listens and hears them as a genuine expression that must be taken into account. The simple act of listening is usually most important; agreement isn’t always necessary. Most of the time, a person just wants to be heard. Agreement is required when there is only one path that can be chosen. Then, the wisdom of two loving and honest people can lead to a mutual agreement that often turns out to be better than either individual path.

The true, unique nature of any intimate partnership only takes shape through genuine conflict and resolution. Crises faced and resolved become the foundation for continuing and deepening mutual understanding and intimacy.

Today I will not avoid conflict but will face it with honesty and an open heart

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Happiness consists of a solid faith, good health, and a bad memory.

~ Clare Boothe Luce ~

Resentments are guaranteed to hinder our growth. We can never know full happiness when resentment clouds our vision. Why is it so hard for us to “forget” the small injuries of life? We have never been promised freedom from pain. Many of the lessons we are destined to learn will scuff our egos. But we will know happiness, completely, if we free our minds of resentments.

The formula for happiness is simple. We don’t need material wealth, a perfect job, or an exceptional relationship. In fact, it’s possible to know happiness with no job, very little money, and no significant other. Happiness is a by-product of a healthy attitude. And a healthy attitude is one that takes the normal turmoil of life and mixes it with a belief in God’s presence. The result is an acceptance of God’s will and a certainty that, in spite of appearances, all is well.

I am in charge of my attitude today. Happiness is a choice I can make regardless of what the people around me are doing.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am doing the best I can

I expected things to just fall into place once I accepted my problems, stopped using, and got into therapy. But that’s not the case. Even though I’m abstinent now and going to weekly therapy and Twelve Step meetings, my psychiatric symptoms have gotten out of hand. Something is not working or I’m doing something wrong.

But actually, that’s not all bad. In the process of figuring out what led up to the relapse, I’ve learned another lesson in recovery: I can’t change myself overnight and willpower alone just doesn’t work. I need to learn more about my dual disorder, as well as how it affects myself and others. I need to learn ways to cope. If I accept myself and this subtle, slow process, I will recover, little by little, one day at a time.

I will write out an affirmation that reads: “I am doing the right things. I am doing the best I can.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons.

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross ~

Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom. For every loss, we’ve gained something new. We are learning that our pain makes us wise over time, but while we are in its midst we often feel alone and entrapped. We sometimes can make no sense out of our suffering — neither its depth nor its seeming unfairness — and we may even turn our backs on our Higher Power. We’ve only survived the darkness by stumbling through it each day. But in recovery we have gradually allowed ourselves to accept comfort from others, and their words help us in times of desolation.

We are learning that some pains can’t be healed, but instead must be endured until they run their course. Sometimes the only hope we have is the deep knowledge that our Higher Power will give us no more than we can handle today. With His help and comfort, we can endure and find peace.

Today let me trust that — even though it may feel painful — my recovery has begun.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If your mental attitude is right, if you face life the right way, if the right spirit is in you, if you put yourself in tune, everything you do… will give you a real sense of pleasure.

~ Orison Swett Marden ~

Start your day with poise and serenity. If your alarm doesn’t go off, you can remain calm. If a traffic jam slows your commute, you can be at peace. If a friend cancels on you, you can be forgiving.

You can do all these things when you decide “I will not allow anything to disturb my mental balance or throw my mind out of its serenity.” Facing life with inner strength means not allowing people, places, or things to destroy your harmony with the world. Facing life with peace of mind means you are in charge of your destiny and your recovery. Facing life with understanding and forgiveness means you have built a strong relationship with a Higher Power. Then you can view disruptions to your well-being and purpose as trifling, small incidents that are short-lived.

Today you can choose to be defeated by life’s little in-sensibilities, conflicts, and disappointments, or success-fully handle whatever comes your way without disruption to your inner peace.

My achievements today will reflect my attitude. I will choose to face life with a serene spirit and calm poise.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Strange feelings. . . . Just a sort of unexplained sadness that comes each afternoon when the new day is gone forever and there’s nothing ahead but increasing darkness.

~ Robert M. Pirsig ~

Just as each day is a new beginning, so is each night also a new start. Each night can be a chance to recharge ourselves after our day’s batteries have run down. Each night can be a chance to start anew on our goals, our growth, our good thoughts.

Instead of reflecting on the past events of the day, we can look forward to the moments to come. We can be unafraid of the darkness of the night as we prepare for tomorrow by using positive energy.

Although the day is done, tomorrow is yet to come. There are plans to make, places to go, people to see, and projects to do. Tomorrow can begin with hope and strength and energy directed to all our forthcoming events.

I can see tomorrow as a new beginning.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Asking how

Many days we are tempted to ask Why? Why did this happen to me? Why was I singled out? Why am I not a different person? But the whys lead only to clever explanations and rationalizations of what we do or what we are. The question for us is not Why? but How?

We ask how to learn and work our program of recovery; the “how” can give us a deeper understanding of the program. We ask God How? and God provides the strength and guidance needed. “How” will lead to everything needed for recovery and personal growth. “Why” is irrelevant.

Am I learning how to live?

Higher Power, teach me how to live, love, and learn.

Today I will ask how to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

A man takes a drink, the drink takes another, and the drink takes the man.

~ SINCLAIR LEWIS ~

Newcomer

I’ve heard Alcoholics Anonymous members say, “It’s the first drink that gets you drunk,” and Overeaters Anonymous members say, “Don’t take that first compulsive bite.” It seems a little extreme. Don’t Twelve Step programs allow for the possibility of doing things in moderation?

Sponsor

There are numerous stories of addicted people who started with the idea that they’d have “just one” of whatever it was. Hours, days, or weeks later, they were still in the middle of a binge. Most of us, when we were active in our addictions, promised ourselves repeatedly that we’d be moderate, though we’d already accumulated plenty of evidence that we lacked the desire and the capacity for moderation. Once we started using, no matter how seemingly insignificant the beginning, we were under the control of our addiction. We experienced a craving that no quantity of a drug or repetition of an addictive behavior could satisfy.

There are people on this planet who leave wine unfinished in their glasses and food uneaten on their plates. There are people who can do in moderation what people filling the seats at meetings couldn’t stop doing, once they started. But we are not those people. If we’ve suffered from an addiction enough to come here for treatment, why would we want to keep playing with denial?

Today, I’m strengthened by accepting my need to take special measures to protect my health and recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You can’t tell a drunk anything, but you can show him. All too frequently, we cry out on Monday, attend our first meeting on Tuesday and try our hand at Twelve Stepping on Wednesday.

With a sketchy conception of what it is all about, with little or no knowledge of the Program, sometimes with the smell of paraldehyde still on our breath, we venture forth to dry up the world and when we fail we wonder why.

Remember the 12th step says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics.” You can’t carry the message before you receive it nor can you give it if you don’t possess it.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

2) What you resist persists.

3) Life does not begin at any particular age, but only when you decide to live it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand.
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

LET GOD HAVE YOUR BURDEN

Once you have contacted the Power within, and have allowed it to take over your responsibilities for you, it will direct and govern all your affairs from the greatest to the least, without mistakes. The government shall be upon his shoulder. You are tired, and driven, and worried, and weak, and ill, and depressed, because you have been trying to carry the government upon your own shoulder; the burden is too much for you, and you have broken down under it. Now, immediately you hand over your self-government, that is, the burden of making a living, or of healing your body, or erasing your mistakes, to the Child. He, the Tireless One, the All-Powerful, the All-Wise, the All-Resourceful, assumes it with joy; and your difficulties have seen the beginning of the end.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee… (Psalm 55:22)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Grow with the Flow

I said to a man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”
And he replied, “Go out into the darkness and
put your hand in the hand of God. That shall be to you
better than a light and safer than a known way.”

~ Quoted by King George VI of England ~

Two men were walking beside a river on their way to a town downstream when a storm broke, and a flash flood washed both men into the river. One man panicked, tried to fight his way back to shore, and drowned. The other man realized that the torrent was beyond his control and relaxed to the best of his ability, letting the river carry him. To his happy surprise, the river deposited him on the banks of the town he was headed toward, in a much shorter time than it would have taken him to walk.

When you come up against a situation you cannot control, trust that the universe is working on your behalf. When we fight what is, we lose our power. The sage capitalizes on the energy at hand and makes it work on his behalf.

Help me to remember that You are present in all situations, guiding me home even when I cannot see how.

I am always in the presence of love.
Everything that happens to me is a part of the plan for my good.