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January 10

Step by Step

“AA has become a way of life and living for me. It has brought about a revelation of self, the discovery of an inner being, an awareness of God.

“I wouldn’t give it up or trade it for anything. And the only one who can take it away from me is me – by taking that first drink.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 7 (“A Teenager’s Decision”), p 355.

Today, perhaps my deadliest enemy is not alcohol or the “contributing factors” that I came up with to “blame” for my alcoholism. Maybe my greatest enemy is myself. If I am fighting an urge or temptation to drink or if I haven’t yet gone into recovery, how I react to either is my decision and responsibility and no one else’s. If a slip is pending or if I continue to drink because I think I’m either not ready to quit or the state of my life makes sobering up uninviting, the consequences are mine and mine alone if I pick up the next drink. Let me look to the Fourth Step to identify the emotional and spiritual weakness or sickness that fuels my self-destruction. Today, I have no desire to give in or give up. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Heaven is not reached by a single bound. But we build the ladder by which we rise.

~ J.G. Holland ~

The old saying, “Rome was not built in a day,” tells us that every great achievement must have a single beginning and must continue to be built with care. So it is understandable that in recovery we need to be reminded that all good endings depend on a careful, useful, and productive program of progress.

Our recovery brings us the best things in life, but we must never be greedy with them. Our appetite for the good things is great, but it should never become so great that we stop tasting each step of progress like we would taste each bite of a good dinner.

It is exciting to lose the desire for our addictive substance, but we must always stay alert to overconfidence. Carelessness can tell us, “You’ve got it made; you’re free.”

Today, I’ll remember that many a relapse has been a complete and painful surprise. “First Things First” and “Easy Does It” must always be my guides.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The fearless are merely fearless. People who act in spite of their fear are truly brave.

~ James A. LaFond-Lewis ~

Fear plays a role in our lives in different ways. Many of us have been so conditioned to deny fear that we don’t even know we are afraid and are, in fact, reacting to it. We may look back on a major life choice and realize we chose one job over another because of fear. Some of us can see in the rearview mirror that our controlling ways rise out of fear, not desire for power. The fact is that until we allow ourselves to know our fears, we will react impulsively to them and cannot respond bravely to them.

Our fears don’t give us a license to control those around us. Our fears don’t make our addictive escapes any less harmful. On this path we seek to know our fears, to call them by name so we can be smart in dealing with them. Sometimes we may use our fear as wise guidance to avoid danger, and other times we may choose to bravely step into the circle of our fear and face it down because we do not want to be irrationally ruled by it.

Today I will open my eyes to see my fears and then choose wiser, braver responses to them.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To stop behaving in a certain way is to risk the unfamiliar.

~ Jan Lloyd ~

Old patterns grip us so tightly! Even when the behavior pinches us painfully, we are loathe to give it up. Its familiarity makes it tolerable, knowable, somewhat manageable, and far less scary than trying something new. However, we are truly the luckiest women alive because now we have a training ground where it is safe to try new behaviors. We can discard old, self-defeating patterns in the safe environment of these Twelve Steps.

We are on this recovery path because each of us wants a new life. We have grown sick and tired of the old ways that no longer work. And we have come to believe that change is possible if we look for it in the right place. This is the right place! At any meeting we can see other women who, like us, are trying on new behaviors and meeting with success. We are role models for one another, and every time one of us tries a new response to an old situation, we are all heartened and stretched a bit. We know that what another can do, we can do too.

I am in the right place today to let go of the old and try the new. My support is all around me. I will not fear.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will give the Twelve Step fellowship a fair chance

I went to a Twelve Step meeting—as my counselor suggested—and I didn’t like it. It felt so different from my support group. The Step meeting seemed formal and I felt uneasy when people talked about God and a “higher power.”

On the other hand, maybe I overreacted. I know I don’t like doing new things. I know I’m not eager to face my problem with chemicals these days. To tell the truth, I did hear some helpful comments about being willing and staying abstinent. Maybe I need to follow the facilitator’s suggestion—take what I like and leave the rest. Maybe I could get some help there after all. (And if this meeting doesn’t work out, there are other Twelve Step meetings to try.)

As suggested for newcomers, I will give my Twelve Step meeting five more chances.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Live by faith until you have faith.

~ Peter Boehler ~

A little faith is better than no faith. We need not be free from all doubt to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. No one of us has complete faith, perfect faith. We know only that our sobriety depends on our belief in a Power greater than ourselves.

Clearly, we didn’t fare so well on our own. Our drinking and drugging controlled us. Now that we admit we are powerless over addiction, we need to find something more powerful than ourselves. We have much to gain; we know this from seeing people at meetings who believe in a Higher Power. We know of the serenity and calm that can come from such belief. We’d like that for ourselves, too.

It’s tempting to try and carry all burdens alone. But with all that heavy baggage strapped to our backs, everyone else passes us by, free and light from having left their burdens with a Power greater than themselves. We can find that freedom, too.

Today I’ll spend a moment in conscious contact with my Higher Power even though my faith isn’t perfect yet.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.

~ Hubert Humphrey ~

In the past, the people you called friends may have been those with whom you drank or drugged. Their excessive caregiving may have directly or indirectly encouraged you to keep drinking or using. They may have lied for you, made excuses for you, or did everything they could to protect you from the consequences of your actions and behaviors. However well-meaning such actions were, you understand now that these friends were not helping you.

The program teaches that unhealthy friendships are with those who continue to drink or drug, those who are codependent or enablers, and those who do not want you to change. By continuing to associate with such people, you run the risk of relapse.

The program uses the slogan “Stick with the winners” to promote the role healthy friendships can play in maintaining abstinence. The winners are those who can and will offer the highest level of support in recovery. Begin today by thinking about each of these special people and how your life is better because of them. Take time to reach out to the friends you have made in the program.

Healthy friendships are like angels sent from my Higher Power. Today I will remember that I need to cherish these friendships always, for they are blessings in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

~ Sioux Indian prayer ~

How many times do we see someone who dresses or acts differently? How do we usually react to such a person? Do we stare or make a comment to someone next to us? Meetings are excellent places to come in contact with those who come from different backgrounds. Do we greet each person we meet with care and attention, or do we pass judgments and make jokes?

Our Higher Power has given each of us a diverse background and personality. Some of us have known incredible hardship or handicap. Some of us have limited education. Some of us live in crowded spaces. But some of us have had opportunities. Some of us have an educational degree. Some of us live in large homes. Yet is there any one of us who is better than another?

If we are prone to judge or criticize, tonight we can decide to take a first step toward silence. Remember that education and economics do not make someone better. We are the same, no matter how much, or how little, we have.

I can learn not to judge others.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking growth

We are where we are for a reason. As long as that reason remains, we remain where we are. If we aren’t where we think we should be, working the program will help us get to where our deepest self longs to be. This is growth.

And growth is work. We must be willing to do the simple things that our new under-standing asks of us. We are never given more than we can handle, and the loving help we need along the way is always available. But we never get this help in advance, only as we need it.

Am I seeking growth?

Higher Power, help me want to grow and be willing to do the simple things, day by day, that add up to big changes.

I will seek growth today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The war is over.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I’m trying to understand the First Step, and I’m really stuck on that word “powerless.” I’m not weak; I don’t want to be called powerless. It really insults my intelligence.

Sponsor

Let’s take a look at this part of the First Step together. It doesn’t simply say, “We admitted we were powerless.” Far from it. It says that we were powerless over something. We recognized that a specific substance or behavior had proved stronger than our determination not to consume it or engage in it. Choosing recovery does not mean that we are weak, but it does offer us an opportunity to surrender. Accepting the truth that we have an addiction is an easier way for us to change our addictive behavior than continuously fighting with it. When I resist, my enemy just seems to get stronger. So instead, I accept that there are some things I can’t control. That acceptance becomes a source of enormous power.

Today, I empty my hands and let go of my weapons.

I admit that addiction has played a role in my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Alcoholism, or compulsive drinking, is incurable. We have seen too much evidence of the fact to believe differently—yet, occasionally, some of us get the idea that we are exceptions to the rule. Then the Rat Race begins all over again.

We are alcoholics. We must admit it and accept it as one of those things we cannot change.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) FEAR: Forgetting Everything’s All Right.

2) Willingness is the key to acceptance.

3) Our spiritual possibilities are unlimited when we willingly decide to live them.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

This I Believe

Tomorrow is yet to be,
But should God grant me another day,
The Hope, Courage, and Strength
Through the working of the Twelve Steps and Serenity Prayer,
I shall be sufficiently provided for to meet my every need.
This I believe.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PERSISTENCE BRINGS RESULTS

Prayer is the one thing that can make a change in your life. If you will go direct to God in simple, affirmative prayer, you can heal your body, bring peace and harmony in your life, and make well-being a reality.

Sometimes discouragement sets in when the answer does not come immediately but God is working on the unseen plane and our part is to be persistent. Persistence in prayer is an expression of our faith, for by our persistence we are affirming our belief that God will make his answer plain.

…men ought always to pray, and not faint (Luke 18:1)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

One Frog Per Hand

Never try to catch two frogs with one hand.

~ Country wisdom ~

I remember a television entertainer who balanced spinning plates on thin wooden sticks. At first his act looked easy as he added one plate at a time to the array. Then his job became tense and hilarious as he tried to keep all the teetering plates spinning without let–ting them fall and crash.

Many of us try to do so many things at once that we don’t get any of them done well. Instead of expanding with creative joy, we succumb to “Management by Emergency.” We say yes to more than we can handle and then spend most of our time putting out fires. We take on so many projects that we cannot give any of them the attention they deserve, and we leave ourselves overworked, exhausted, ineffective, and sometimes ill.

When my mother was in the hospital awaiting surgery, she was very unhappy. Her biggest complaint was that no doctor would give her quality time; her physicians would rush in and out and treat her like an item on an assembly line. The day before her surgery, I went to visit her, and she was beaming. “I saw the nicest doctor today!” she exclaimed. “He sat down with me, drew me a diagram of what he was going to do, and answered all my questions patiently. Now I feel peaceful.”

To be a true healer, teacher, minister, parent, or business person, you will gain more in the long run by giving your clients quality attention. To be successful, no matter what your vocation, you must be fully present with what–ever you’re doing. Life is best lived one wholehearted moment at a time.

I want to live a quality life. Let me say yes to what belongs to me and let all else go.
My presence is the present. I give my whole heart, and I find true reward.