[bluidkiti]

January 14

Step by Step

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” – Step Two

Today, I tried it my way, and it didn’t work – frequently. But what “power” if not me? If I cannot believe in either a religious or secular “god,” can I believe that the greater power is as simple as my own self-awakening to the powerlessness that I have admitted in Step One? If I can, I must accept that the phrase “restore us to sanity” implies I am insane. Am I? If I define insanity as expecting or hoping for a better outcome of repeat behavior that has always led to the same outcome, then, yes, I am insane. Today, the power greater than myself can be as simple as my own awakening to my powerlessness, and I can hope that same power can pull me from the insanity of the myth of a better outcome of conduct that has always led to disastrous results. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERVICE

Love is the forgetting of oneself in the service of another.

~ R Ainsley Barnwell ~

Any act of “carrying the message” can serve a useful purpose, whether or not we see the results. Our home group carries the message and observes the Fifth Tradition.

If we maintain an attitude of being of service with love, we can work wonders at any time and every moment of a day. Through our Twelve Step Program, we become aware that we have the opportunity of being an example of happy, joyous, and free living without the crutch of our addiction. This “face” we present can be a positive model for anyone who comes in contact with us.

If we confine our activities to only those persons who seek our help, we might miss the chance of influencing someone who isn’t the direct target of our “service of love.”

Today I will use the gifts my Higher Power and the Program have given me to be of service to others.

************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.

~ O. A. Battista ~

As fathers, we have a strong drive to provide for our loved ones. Many of us had fathers who were absent from our daily lives, often because they were working so much. Now, we also may find ourselves so dedicated to making a living and getting ahead that we don’t spend much time with our children and all those whom we love. We try to make up for it by giving generous gifts or providing them with many comforts that we didn’t have ourselves.

When we get so taken up with our work, we may justify it by saying we are doing it for our families. The truth is, nothing is as valuable as the time we spend together. Children are certainly richer and happier with the nurturing presence of their father than with extra material comforts. We always need to seek a balance. Doing well in our careers has its place, but it isn’t the most important thing in life.

I will keep my urge to provide for my loved ones in balance with simply spending time with them.

************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are not unlike a particularly hardy crustacean. . . . With each passage from one stage of human growth to the next, we, too, must shed a protective structure.

~ Gail Sheehy ~

Our passage into a new stage of development was initiated by our desire to stop using chemicals. The values we lived by while using chemicals no longer fit us. We need to shed our old skin and grow a new one that reflects our current world- view.

We are now, and always will be, in the stage of becoming, of trying to fulfill our changing dreams and aspirations. What we can accomplish at one stage of life is different from what we can handle at another. And yet an overall design is being shaped by all our endeavors. The more willing we are to shed yet another skin, the more centered, stable, and spirit-filled we’ll become.

Do my actions fit my values? As I outgrow my values, I will release them. I will relish my growth today and celebrate my new skin.

************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am grateful for my abstinence

It’s scary to remember what life was like when I was still using. Only now can I see how much I was acting out, how out of control I was, and how afraid I was of facing my problems.

Once I got clean and sober, I could hold my head up again. I knew better where I was at and my psychiatrist could diagnose the somewhat hidden problem in my life—emotional illness. And because I was abstinent, I had more strength to face this new challenge in what has become my dual recovery.

I will write out two ways abstinence has helped me in recovering from my emotional or psychiatric illness.

***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and adventure to discover our own special light.

~ Mary Dunbar ~

All of us are gifted. Every person has a gift that can bring great joy and light to those who encounter it. Our task is to stand in the sun and create a climate that will develop and nurture our gift.

Sometimes we are afraid to let ourselves believe we have anything special to offer or contribute to the world. We think of ourselves as plain and untalented, with no gifts or special potential. But if we believe we are limited, we act in a limited way. We take few risks and follow few paths that might develop our special talents and gifts.

In recovery we are learning to love ourselves and trust ourselves in a whole new way. Now anything is possible. To fully believe in our talents, we need only step from the darkness into the sun. We will take this first step, trust enough, and start believing that, yes, we do have special gifts.

Today let me he aware of my deep and unfilled desires, dreams, and wishes, which is the first step on the way to accepting my gifts.

************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I think we fall in love with people who have something to teach us. And sometimes that is a hard lesson and sometimes it’s a safe and loving lesson.

~ Mary Bradish ~

Love can make you feel strong and sure, confident in the knowledge that someone has “got your back.” Other times it can make you feel weak and vulnerable, particularly when you need to give openly and honestly. Unhealthy relationships involve disharmony, mistrust, and a lack of understanding and support. Partners in a healthy relationship understand and support each other’s needs and seek harmony in their shared companionship.

Love, like life, has its ups and downs. Things get out of balance, causing anxiety or indecision. Ask yourself, “What do I need to learn from what I’m feeling right now?” You may discover you are not the cause of the upset or your feelings are not based on your current relationship, but on the threads of past relationships that unraveled.

Even though love’s emotional expression can change from time to time, the existence of love will not. Love is a constant, no matter what form it takes in your life.

Today I will understand and accept the form love takes not only during the easy times, but also when times are hard. I will seek out serenity and be open to whatever lessons I am being taught.

************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The doors we open and dose each day decide the lives we live.

~ Flora Whittemore ~

We often hear the phrase, “When one door shuts, another opens.” It means everything has a beginning and an end. When our travels on one path are completed, another path lies ahead.

It’s not easy to feel a door close. Relationships, friendships, careers, and lives end. Although we may not understand why a door closes, it’s important to remember our Higher Power has everything to do with it. By the same token, we may not understand why certain doors open, revealing opportunities we may have longed for. Again, our Higher Power feels we are ready to pursue that new experience.

The doors that opened and closed today helped prepare us for our experiences tonight. The doors that opened and closed tonight will help us grow toward tomorrow. We are not mice in a maze, randomly pursuing paths for a reward of cheese. We are children of our Higher Power, guided towards our chosen goal through the many doors we open and close along the way.

Have I learned there is a reason for everything in my life? Can I trust that my path has been prepared for me by my Higher Power?

************************************************

~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Being true

We believe we can become beautiful people, free of addiction. With belief in a Power greater than ourselves, our Twelve Step program, and the fellowship, we don’t have to stay where we were. Our purpose in life is to stay sober and clean.

Our Higher Power knows our true purpose in life and will help us. Our Higher Power knows what we are capable of becoming, although others may misjudge us.

Am I staying true to my purpose?

I pray that I may see the good within me and remain true to my purpose.

I will honor my true purpose today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The truth can he spoken only by someone who already lives inside it.

~ LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN ~

Newcomer

Some of the expressions people use to talk about recovery sound sickeningly sweet to me. On my first day, someone

I’d never seen before said to me, “Welcome to our fellowship.” It makes my skin crawl when they say that kind of thing. And all those slogans! They make me wonder if people in recovery can think for themselves.

Sponsor

I can identify with you. In early recovery, I felt uncomfortable when people reached out to me. I had been impatient and cynical for a long time; I was suspicious of positive statements and looked down on people who made them. My habit of finding fault came in handy when somebody challenged my old ways of thinking. It was easier to criticize others than to look at myself.

It’s funny: when I was active in my addiction, I rarely complained of how tedious and repetitive my life had become. I had surrounded myself with people who enabled my addiction. I must have sounded like a broken record as I justified my addiction in spite of the consequences. Today, my focus is no longer on likes and dislikes. Instead of dismissing people without really looking or listening, I can go deeper and see what’s true for me in whatever they are saying.

In recovery, free of the need to make snap judgments, we can begin to listen in a new way.

Today, I listen without judging. I cultivate respect and tenderness for others and for myself.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Within our ranks we have many faiths and creeds. All of us seek and find our Power greater than ourselves in our own way and give Him a personality according to our own understanding. Yet withal, we abide in peaceful toleration and respect the faiths that we each have found.

Even those of us who are still groping in uncertainty and doubt are gradually acquiring faith. Tennyson once said, “There is more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the Creeds.”

Here we don’t care WHAT you believe, we only ask that you believe. Have some anchor, so that when the waves of alcoholic thinking start again to roll, you will be moored to something substantial enough to enable you to ride out the storm.

************************************************

~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Turn it over; don’t overturn it.

2) If you want to feel better, clean house. If you want to get better, find God.

3) FEAR: Frantic Efforts to Appear Recovered

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Beginner’s Prayer

Lord, I want to love You, yet I am not sure.
I want to trust You, yet I am afraid of being taken in.
I know I need You, but I am ashamed of the need.
I want to pray, but I am afraid of being a hypocrite.
I need my independence, yet I fear to be alone.
I want to belong, yet I must be myself.
Take me, Lord, yet leave me alone.
Lord, I believe; help me with my unbelief.
O Lord, if You are there, You do understand, don’t You?
Give me what I need, but leave me free to choose.
Help me work it out my own way, but don’t let me go.
Let me understand myself, but don’t let me despair.
Come unto me, O Lord, I want You there.
Lighten my darkness, but don’t dazzle me.
Help me to see what I need to do, and give me strength to do it.
O Lord, I believe; help me with my unbelief.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GOD is LOVE

The third main aspect of God is Love. God is not loving but Love itself, and it would probably be true to say that of all of the seven main aspects, this is the most important one for us to practice. There is no condition that enough Love will not heal. The Bible deals with the nature of God, and as the Scripture develops, the idea of God becomes clearer until toward the end it says,

….God is Love: and he that dwelleth in Love dwelleth in God, and God in him (I John 4:16).

By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another (John 13:35).

Where there is fear there cannot be love. The best way to rid yourself of fear is to realize divine Love. If you love God more than you love your microbe, your sickness, your grievance, your lack, or your fear, you will be healed. We have all heard many stories of exceptional people who were able to go among wild beasts in the jungle without being hurt, and there are many other histories on record of people who passed through extraordinary dangers of other kinds quite unscathed. To realize God as Love is the remedy for fear.

Divine Love never fails, but the important thing to realize is that divine Love must be in your own heart and cannot operate from outside, so to speak. When your prayers are not answered it must be because you have not fulfilled the conditions of the law times in a hundred, it is because you are lacking in a sense of love for all. Practice love every day and watch your thought, and watch your tongue, and watch your deed, that nothing contrary to love finds expression there.

************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Forge a New Destiny

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

A t a restaurant, I noticed a couple enjoying what looked like some very tasty garlic toast. When I asked the waitress for an order of the same, she answered, “I’m sorry, sir, the garlic toast comes only with the dinner.”

“Would it be possible to order some as a side order?” I persisted.

She looked puzzled. “I don’t know if that’s ever been done, sir.”

“Then perhaps this is our opportunity to change history and create a new destiny,” I suggested. She smiled, went into the kitchen, and soon re–turned with a dish of piping hot garlic toast—an historic day for the Grosvenor restaurant!

We can transform our lives by changing the way we think about possibilities. We are prone to picture our future as an extension of our past. But we have no guarantee at all that our future will be anything like our past. The nature of a consciousness shift is the release of an old belief sys–tem, replacing it with a new and grander one. Just when you think you know it all, life comes along and says, “Here, let me show you a bigger universe!” Thank God we do not know it all; if we did, we would be in big trouble, for most of what we know has made us small. Be grateful that the universe is willing to take away your impotence and replace it with magnitude.

Lead me to a destiny that outshines my history. I am willing to release my expectations based on the past, and know a better future.

I open my mind to the new and the better. I live in a universe far grander than I can imagine.