[MajestyJo]

It is my firm believe that we relapse long before we pick up the drink or the drug of our choice.

Many people, don't realize that when they substitute their drug of choice for something else, they have in part relapsed. They figure that food, gambling, work (busy), and exercise are healthy and are better for them than their drug of choice.

What I didn't realize until I was in it with my compute...r, was that it leads to the same soul sickness. The same stinking thinking came back, the isolation and the remorse and guilt for not doing what I was suppose to be doing because I had my nose in the computer.

It is fun. It is my escape, and yet is it good fun if it takes us back into our obsessive, compulsive way of living.

The drug was but a symptom of my disease. The problem was and is and always will be me.

SLIP - Sobriety Loses It's Priority.

I can have a lapse and forget that I am an addict. That for me some is good, more is better.

Balance is good. Gaining 50-60 lbs and working 50-60 hours is not good. Losing $100. I can't afford to lose and running a 100 miles a week, which is time and money I can't really afford, is not good. Recovery is about making healthy choices.

When I decided to quit smoking, people said, "Oh we will still love you even if you gain 20-30 lbs. I said, "I will not love myself and started smoking after 6 days of quitting. For me to gain weight is fear, my mother died from obesity which led to a bad heart. She was told to lose weight and she didn't. She chose to carry the message to use is to die. My father chose to drink himself to death.

When I did make another decision, I used the program, and carried crystals in my hand so I wouldn't pick up something that wasn't healthy. I lost 3 lbs. I wanted to go back to smoking when my doctor put me on Prednisone and I gained 20 lbs. that I have never been able to take off.

As my doctor says, "A healthy mind makes for a healthy body."