[MajestyJo]

Reading from: Just for Today April 1 - Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts.

"Some of us first saw the effects of addiction on the people close to us. We were very dependent on them to carry us through life. We felt angry, disappointed, and hurt when they found other interests, friends and loved ones."

NA Basic Text, p. 7

Addiction affected every area of our lives. Just as we sought the drug that would make everything alright, so we sought people to fix us. We made impossible demands, driving away those who had anything of worth to offer us. Often, the only people were those who were themselves too needy to be capable of denying our unrealistic expectations. It's no wonder that we are unable to establish and maintain healthy intimate relationships in our addiction.

Today, in recovery, we've stopped expecting drugs to fix us. If we still expect people to fix us, perhaps it's time to extend our recovery program to our relationships. We begin by admitting we have a problem - that we don't know the first thing about how to have healthy intimate relationships. We seek out members who've had similar problems and have found relief. We talk with them and listen to what they share about this aspect of their recovery. We apply the program to all our affairs, seeking the same kind of freedom in our relationships what we find throughout our recovery.

JUST FOR TODAY: Loving relationships are within my reach. Today, I will examine the effects of addiction on my relationships so that I can begin seeking recovery.

I realized I didn't know what love was, I only knew what wasn't. The old patterns and behaviors had to change, and as I healed and found myself, I was able to find out what was acceptable to me, to set boundaries, and to find self-respect and self-worth for myself which I had never had before.

I couldn't have a healthy relationship until I learned to have a relationship with myself and my Higher Power. How can I share myself if I don't know who I am?

I thought I knew, but I came to realize that I had lived most of my life through other people and had no identity of my own. Recovery has been about me finding me and finding my own set of values and beliefs.

April 1st is my birthday. I always said, "It was the only reason for being who I was and then I found out I was an alcoholic/addict."