[bluidkiti]

November 11

Step by Step

“When I am hungry, give me someone that I can feed. And when I am thirsty, give me someone who needs a drink. When I’m cold, give me someone to keep warm. And when I grieve, give me someone to console.” – Mother Teresa (1910-1997)

Today, the words of a religious icon transcends denominations and religion itself and embraces a fundamental ethic of AA – focus off self and on those who need it as much and more. The 12th step requires us to be of service by carrying AA’s message to those who need and want it. And by directing my focus on those who need the message and guidance through the other steps, I hope to have little time to dwell on myself, though not neglecting my responsibilities to my own program. At the same time, by listening and helping someone else resolve or reconcile their problems, I may have to eat crow if I think no one carries the weight that I do. My recovery requires abandonment of self, and the quality of my sobriety can be expected to be less than what it could be if I make my recovery about myself; my drinking was all about myself, and the outcome speaks for itself. Today, if I find someone who is hungry, who is thirsty, who is cold or who grieves, grant me the humanity to put their needs before my wants. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

HONESTY

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

~ Shakespeare ~

Honesty is vital to our recovery. It has to begin within us and must flow outward from us. To be true to ourselves, we must never say one thing and think another. When we were using, our denials spelled dishonesty. So did the false fronts we put up to impress others.

Dishonesty was motivated by fear and our low self-esteem. We hated ourselves, and we were afraid others would hate us too if we showed them honestly who we were. So we lied to them and to ourselves, trying to be the person we thought other people wanted us to be. In recovery, we learn to like the person we are. We have no more reason to lie or put up false fronts.

Today I will work to be honest in everything I say and do. I will be true to myself.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

A truth that’s told with bad intent Beats all the lies you can invent.

~ William Blake ~

Sometimes the truth is the most brutal thing we can deliver. In our recovery we work very hard to become honest with ourselves, but we must also learn how to handle the truth with others. We are guided to make amends to all those we have harmed, “except when to do so would injure them or others.” We must consider our motivations for expressing the truth and see that sometimes privacy and silence isn’t dishonest; it’s respectful.

The man who apologized to a married couple for his affair with the wife did no one any good by his apology. The man who freely gossips about others may speak the truth, but he only gratifies his selfish urges. We are learning to be clear and unflinching in our honesty with ourselves, and gentle and constructive in our honesty with others.

Today I will tell the truth in caring and respectful ways.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I am learning to trust myself by getting to know my Higher Power and then trusting the guidance I receive.

~ Helen Neujahr ~

Developing a relationship with our Higher Power rewards us in countless ways. The uncertainty about what to do and say in response to circumstances in our lives no longer binds us. The fear of being hurt or hurting others no longer haunts us. Uncontrollable events no longer worry us. Our lives are significantly more peaceful and positive when we get to know our Higher Power.

We felt so alone before. It’s not surprising that we didn’t trust ourselves. We were making decisions with no clear understanding of how they fit into the divine plan for our lives. Many of us, in fact, had no belief in a divine plan.

Hindsight, however, lets us see that our lives have been unfolding purposefully. And even though we may not have turned to a Higher Power, or not have believed in one, before getting into recovery, we were in God’s care. Trusting that guidance makes our lives today so much easier.

I will be quiet so that I can hear my Higher Power’s guidance.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can accept a breakthrough of my symptoms

I used to get scared and angry when my psychiatric illness would "break through" my medication and produce strong symptoms. Sometimes I wanted to hurt myself. Often I would shut myself up in my room. I was ashamed for what felt like a loss of control.

Having a symptom breakthrough is still hard to accept, what with working a program of dual recovery. However, I no longer feel so bad about myself when it happens. I have learned that even though I faithfully take my medication and go to meetings regularly for both my mental health and addiction, I am still powerless over my two no-fault biological illnesses. I am not a bad person, but a recovering person who is doing the best he can.

I will write out two ways I could help take care of myself if I experienced a breakthrough of symptoms.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Let us choose love and life.

~ Bernie Siegel ~

We had no choice about when or where we were born, what color hair we have, how tall we are, or whether or not we are left-handed. We did not choose to be born male or female, white, black, or brown, and we did not choose to be afflicted with the disease of addiction.

But we can choose to accept what we are, what we have, and what we will do about these things. Each day we awaken with a choice. It doesn’t matter if it’s rainy or sunny, hot or cold, or if we’re rich or poor. All these things are outside us, they are not what determines if we’re happy or not. That is our choice. We choose to make the most of our day, to be kind to ourselves, to tend to our recovery. We choose to be loving to another human being, to offer help or sympathy, to interact with the world — or to isolate ourselves.

Life is not lived outside us, but is determined by the ways we choose to interact with what’s outside us. Each thing we do or refuse to do is by choice, and no one makes our choices for us. Living well is a great responsibility, but with the help of our fellowship and our Higher Power, we can gladly accept the responsibilities of the present.

Today help me pay attention to the moment, and to make self-loving choices.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.

~ Larry King ~

Think about those times when you are listening to talk radio or a television talk show and the dialogue gets heated between guests. Two or more people may be speaking or even shouting at the same time, and you realize you cannot hear what anyone is saying.

When you first came into the program, your mind may have been filled with so much self-talk that you could not take in what others were saying. Or you may have been so intent at conveying your own problems that you did all of the talking. But when you can still your mind and stop talking, you can experience the value of give and take in conversations. You can also gather information and guidance that will be useful for your recovery and growth.

Today make it a goal to be a good listener. Make eye contact with someone who is speaking. Try to not multitask at the same time. Overcome your need to respond before the speaker has finished talking. If you are not clear with what is being said, ask for clarification. And fight the urge to give advice unless the person asks, “What would you do in this situation?”

Today I will listen and learn from others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

A satisfied flower is one whose petals are about to fall. The most beautiful rose is one hardly more than a bud wherein the pangs and ecstacies of desire are working for larger and finer growth.

~ Carl Sandburg ~

Every one of us in the program is a flower in a beautiful garden. The ones who move down the road of recovery are blooming right and strong. The newcomer and short-timers are just buds, soon to open in a burst of energy and color.

Our Higher Power tends this garden and provides us with room to grow, rich soil in which to root, ample nourishment, and the company of others. We are not all alike in this garden. We each bloom a different color, have a different petal pattern, and release our own fragrance. Yet our sensuous mixture yields an amazing scene of color, fragrance, and life.

At times we may feel uncomfortable in the garden. We may not feel as wise as some of the older flowers and may think our newness is still too bright. Yet we all belong and we will all be nourished as long as we are within the garden walls.

Do I believe I am unique and beautiful? I will let myself be part of the uniqueness and beauty in the program.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Trusting God’s love

Trusting that our Higher Power wants the best for us also means trusting that it wants the best for our loved ones. God works through everyone. We can’t believe that our Higher Power has led us through rebellion, pain, and suffering to this fellowship without believing it also guides everyone else.

Our Higher Power reaches people in different ways. We sometimes don’t understand the wisdom behind all this. All we can do is carry the message by being an example; the rest is in our Higher Power’s hands.

Do I feel secure knowing we are all guided by a Higher Power?

Higher Power, I entrust all those who are dear to me to your never failing care and love.

Today I will express my trust in my Higher Power’s love by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study.

~ FRANCIS BACON ~

Newcomer

I'm so discouraged. I used to think I had so much talent. Now I can see that I'm not as good as hundreds of other people. While I was off hiding from reality in my addiction, other people were getting ahead of me.

Sponsor

Neither our talents nor our dreams have vanished. In recovery, we have the chance to explore the question of what kind of education and training we need to support our natural gifts, to help us take steps in the world, and to flourish.

For some of us, this may mean formal education; people in recovery are doing it all the time. Some of us may simply want instruction in a recreational pursuit that brings pleasure and expands our options. Books and articles, a peer support group, or friends with some time for hands-on help may be enough to get us started. The rest comes with experience, patience, and practice.

Still others of us may have had considerable experience and worldly success, but addiction has limited or interrupted our path. It takes courage and the willingness to think like a beginner again to find the way back to what matters to us. Our experience of hitting bottom and embracing recovery has given us insights, attitudes, and habits that enhance the experience of living.

Today, I have the willingness and courage to give myself a second chance at an old dream. I take small steps. I persist, no matter what.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You are born at every sunrise and die at every sunset. Sleep is temporary death, which fortifies you for your rebirth in a new tomorrow. Every day is an entire life in itself and all human experiences can take place within its span.

You, yourself, are not the same man you were yesterday or the man you will be tomorrow. The world, too, changes with every revolution around the sun. One human being lives a day and another a hundred years yet each is a complete life.

Today is the only life you surely have. Make the best of it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My Work Life

Today, I will pay attention to what recovery behaviors 1 could practice that would improve my work life. I will take care of myself on the job. God, help me let go of my need to be victimized by work. Help me be open to all the good stuff that is available to me through work.

~ From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie, page 247 ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WITHOUT REHEARSAL

Someone said that living life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning to play the instrument as we go along. This saying describes the experience very well, but no one should worry about that. We are in this world for exactly that purpose—to learn.

While we are learning we do not expect to produce a perfect work. On this plane we are all students, and what matters is that each year we shall find the quality of our workmanship definitely better. People are sometimes depressed because their lives do not present a simple, logical, harmonious unfoldment, because their histories seem to be full of inconsistencies, repetitions, dead ends. This, however, is only to be expected during the learning period.

Your life has not been rehearsed. It is an adventure, and a discovery, and a training, and it is the final goal that matters.

And let us not be weary in welldoing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not (Galatians 6:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Direct Is Better

Let every man do according as he is disposed in his heart; not grudgingly, or of necessity.

~ Anonymous ~

I had an assistant named Joel who did not know how to say no. He would say yes to everything and then not do the things he did not want to do. Psychologists call this “passive-aggressive behavior.” Once I asked Joel to go into town to pick up a computer part. He assured me that he would, and then delayed and delayed doing it. Finally he made the trip one afternoon, and when I asked him about the part the next morning, he told me he could not find the shop. I gave Joel explicit instructions, and he went back into town the next afternoon. I received a call from him asking, “What was the name of that company?” After several attempts he finally got the part, but in retrospect, I wish he had told me outright that he did not wish to do the job. It would have been a lot easier to get some–one else to do it.

I have a simple definition of integrity: Say yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, maybe when you mean maybe, and I don’t know when you mean I don’t know. We get into trouble and confuse others when we say yes when we mean no, maybe when we mean I don’t know, and on and on through all the permutations. You are in integrity when what you’re doing in the outer world matches what is real in your heart.

In college I read a book by Sidney Jourard called The Transparent Self. The title speaks for itself. We usually do much better to let people know what is going on inside of us than to play a presentation game that is out of synch with our inner truth.

When my friend told her teenage son that she did not like him hanging out with the working-class kids in school, he told her, “I like these kids because they’ll tell you exactly who they are and what is going on with them.”

If you tell your truth with your actions but not your words, you’re going to have to come back and admit where you are. Save yourself and others trouble by being direct at the outset; honesty always serves best.

Give me the courage to tell my truth in word and deed.

I trust -who I am, I speak what I believe, and I live what I know.