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April 4

Step by Step

Today, unconditional trust in my higher power for what I need and not what I think I want, and to understand that my recovery cannot be on my time schedule. In my impatience for the promises of the program, I must remember that the damage to myself and others as an alcoholic in the making and, later, as a drinking alcoholic, was not inflicted overnight. Thus, I can’t expect recovery overnight. I need patience to thwart impatience, and I need only remember the damage caused by impatience in rushing toward what I thought I wanted and realize that a rushed recovery will likely lead, as it has in the past, to a train wreck. If through this day I encounter something I do not want, I will reign fight an emotional reaction like anger or self-pity or indignation and ask my higher power only for His knowledge and will to handle it so as not to threaten my progress or inflict injury on anyone. His time table, not mine. His knowledge of my needs, not my selfish wants. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SLIPPERY PLACES

If you sit in the barber chair long enough, you’re bound to get your hair cut.

~ Anonymous ~

In recovery, we stay aware and keep in contact with our Higher Power. We keep our addictions in check with our Step work. We now know the difference between what is right and wrong for us. We know we are weak and powerless over our addictions. We know it is only by the grace of our Higher Power that we can keep ourselves clean and sober.

So we learn to stay away from slippery places and slippery people. We know we are always just one step away from relapse. We have learned how are wills, uncontrolled, will always look for shortcuts to happiness. When our contact with our Higher Power is weak, we begin to listen to the voices that call us back into the dark days before the Program. Our minds play tricks on us. They only let us remember the true and beautiful moments, not the dark and ugly days and nights before the Program.

I will stay clear of slippery people and places.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

When you teach your son, you teach your son’s son.

~ The Talmud ~

As we look at our own life history and begin to under-stand how we reached this point, we have to examine what was passed on to us by our parents and then realize that they were doing the best they could with what they had been given. We talk about the chain of trans-mission through generations who had problems with addictions and codependency. Many of us know that we want to break that chain so that our children don’t inherit the negative patterns.

How do we break the chain of generation after generation of addiction and abuse? We become the best father we know how to be. We develop genuine relationships with our children, letting them truly know us; we tell them about our lives and listen to them talk about their lives. It isn’t all about discipline; it’s about having a bond and being honest in telling our children that we love and care for them. Certainly setting limits and being consistent are important tenets, but the most important thing a father can give his child is letting his child know him.

Today I will be engaged with my child in a genuine and open relationship.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The Twelve Steps have powerfully guided me from just surviving to living.

~ Elizabeth Farrell ~

All questions can be answered and all conflicts resolved through our reliance on the Twelve Steps. Every relationship we have, no matter how insignificant, is enhanced when we accept the Twelve Steps as our philosophy for daily living. What powerful tools we have at our disposal!

The irony, of course, is that we resist using these Steps on occasion. We’d rather be miserable some days, resentful toward bosses or lovers. Or we’d rather be obsessed with controlling a friend, even when our friend clearly wants, and will get, her own way! We mar our journey, give up real living, because we revert to our old selves.

What a blessing our program friends are at times like these. Their questions about our behavior can jolt us into awareness of how far we have strayed from the Steps that safeguard our journey.

I survived many experiences and lots of pain before getting clean and sober. Yet I want more than survival now; I want a real life. The Steps are my guide today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have a dual disorder

I don’t want to admit it, but my therapist is right: I have a dual disorder. I’ve used street drugs and alcohol (although I’m clean and sober now), and for the past several months, I have felt depressed, guilty, and exhausted most of the time. I’ve been sleeping more than usual. I am losing weight. I fact, I’m losing interest in my world.

My dual disorder is very hard to accept. It still scares me to admit it. And yet, in a way, I feel better admitting to these problems. Maybe it’s because I’m no longer lying to myself, telling myself these problems aren’t problems. Maybe it’s because I now stop fighting and get some relief. And maybe it’s because I can now work on recovery instead of covering up.

I will tell my therapist that I am ready to accept my addiction and emotional problems.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

To be powerless is to be empowered.

~ Jerry K. ~

“Empowerment” — what a powerful word — what a scary idea! Some days we can’t get “out of the driver’s seat.” We feel frustrated and helpless. Other days we find it easy to admit we’re powerless, and instantly feel ourselves becoming more powerful. We find we can make decisions in our lives. We can do it!

But we can’t do it alone. This life of recovery is a “we” proposition. We need to involve other recovering people in our lives. We need to become acquainted with a Higher Power. Together, we will be able to make good decisions and be directed to do His will — the next right thing.

The challenge is to learn we can’t change other people, places, or things. But we can play an important role in life’s plan if we open ourselves up to the guidance and love of the recovering community and our Higher Power.

Today help me trust in my Higher Power and open myself up to the “we” of my fellow recovering friends.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it . . . lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again . . . but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

~ Mark Twain ~

Think about a time when you became sick after eating something. How soon after you felt better did you choose to eat the same thing? Maybe it was weeks, months—or perhaps you have never eaten it again. Your experience convinced you to avoid that food, even though it may have been harmless.

Abstinence from your addiction does not necessarily translate into abstinence from all of the things associated with it. You may have engaged in your addiction at par-ties, but that does not mean you can never attend another party or that you can no longer go out with friends and have a good time. A former habit of gambling on sports does not mean you can never enjoy watching another game.

While it is important to make choices that support your need to be free of your addiction, be sure that the choices you make are not too all-encompassing.

I will reflect on what experience has taught me to make choices that will be inclusive, rather than exclusive.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Sometimes the readiness to be sorry can appear in a flash of insight; other times it may cost a sleepless night or a long sulk. Either way, you’ve got to go through the process.

~ Laurence Shames ~

Making amends – admitting a wrong or apologizing to someone – is never easy. If we are not ready, it really doesn’t accomplish much. ln order for us to become willing to make an amend, we need to do some work.

We need to feel our way through anger, bitterness, or guilt. We need to recognize and try to put aside our ego issues. We need to become ready to shift from a defensive, battle-ready position to one that is open and honest and sincere.

Sometimes a good night’s sleep will help us through even the most difficult of amends. The time spent in quiet rest may help energize us and give us courage and strength to effectively communicate out amends without traces of leftover negative feelings.

Tonight I can let rest and quiet contemplation prepare me to make an amend.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working for peace of mind

To stay clear of mood-altering chemicals, we must keep our thoughts close to our Higher Power. If we stay close, we will know peace but not necessarily leisure.

The work of recovery is hard, but our rewards are many and much more lasting than the immediate gratification we sought in the past.

Am I finding peace of mind?

Higher Power, help me stay close to you and remember why I must work on my recovery.

Three ways I can work for peace of mind today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Try this bracelet: if it fits you, wear it; but if it hurts you, throw it away no matter how shiny.

~ KENYAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I hear some people in meetings who talk about having strict sponsors and doing everything “by the book.” There are others who say that they follow the suggestions more loosely. I heard one person say that she “sort of got recovery by osmosis”—she’s only dimly aware that she’s been applying a particular Step to a situation in her life. I don’t know if all this diversity is such a good thing.

Sponsor

Diversity is a fact of life in recovery. We come in many shapes and sizes, and from many different backgrounds and histories. It stands to reason that our paths in recovery aren’t going to be carbon copies of one another. We share the desire for recovery and the willingness to work at it. Though we do have addiction in common, methods of recovery may vary. One size definitely doesn’t fit all.

Some of us crave a great deal of structure and feel insecure without it. Some feel safer being told exactly what action to take, when, and how. Others rebel against overly detailed directions, feeling safe only if we sense we’re being given room to make our own mistakes. We’re intuitively drawn to people who have what we want, whose paths offer the combination of supportiveness and challenge that feels appropriate to our own needs. If our preferred way hasn’t been working, we may need to try switching for a while to a stricter or looser approach.

Today, I trust my experience and gut feelings about what will strengthen my recovery most effectively.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It was very hard for us alcoholics to realize that God has a big world on His hands and that He has other chores than just to give us rain and sunshine when we want sunshine. We always thought the Universe revolved around us.

That He knows His job is evidenced by the regular return of days and seasons, by His distribution of weather in such a manner that the world has never been devoid of food Think what chaos would exist if He had allowed us to run it our way.

God has given us many controls over Nature, but He knows the limits of human intelligence and the extent of human selfishness.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When you’re filled with regrets of yesterday and worries about tomorrow, you’ve lost today in which to be grateful.

2) From Narcotic’s Obvious to Narcotic’s Anonymous.

3) Highs are short lived. Serenity is a long-distance runner.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Fourth Step Prayer

Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it and I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs, but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PEACE OF SOUL

Peace I leave you, my peace I give unto you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27)

The true, interior soul-peace was known to the mystics as serenity, and they are never tired of telling us that serenity is the grand passport to the Presence of God—the sea as smooth as glass that is round about the Great White Throne. This is not to say that one cannot tackle even the most serious difficulties by prayer without having any serenity at all. But before you can make any true spiritual progress you must achieve serenity; and it is that fundamental tranquility of the soul that Jesus refers to as the word peace—the peace that passes all human understanding.

The Peacemakers are those who bring about this peace in their own souls; they surmount limitation and become actually, not merely potentially, the children of God. This condition is the objective at which Jesus aims.

Of course, to be a peacemaker in the usual sense of composing quarrels of other people is an excellent thing, as all practical people know, an excessively difficult role to fill. But once you understand the power of prayer, you will be able to heal many quarrels in the true way; probably without speaking at all. The silent thought of the All-Power of Love and Wisdom will cause the trouble to melt almost imperceptibly. You will become a peacemaker.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Scars into Stars

Every minus is half a plus, waiting for a stroke of vertical awareness.

~ Alan Cohen ~

On a shoestring budget of $150, Jim opened a clothing store with some sundry garments. Soon after the store opened, a wealthy woman came in to browse and soon walked out, complaining, “This place is nothing but a bunch of odds and ends.” Her phrase rang like a bell in Jim’s head, and he decided that that description would make a good name and theme for his store. He had a sign painted, proclaiming “Odds and Ends,” and set out on an advertising campaign with that motif. After a number of years, Jim owned five successful Odds and Ends stores, and eventually sold them for $475,000.

What seems to be a setback or an insult may be a gift from the universe, pointing you in a direction of greater good. When a phrase or idea resonates within you, it is probably the voice of Spirit trying to get your attention to act upon it.

Think and act as if everything that shows up in your field of consciousness is for your good. Imagine there is only one power—love— and it is the force behind every experience. Even if something seems painful or insulting in the moment, use it as raw material with which to grow. Even repulsive manure is good fertilizer, when put in its proper place and recycled for the farmer’s purpose.

Today let me recognize Your voice behind every voice.
Help me to take Your signs and signals and build a life of beauty and abundance.

I receive the word of God and use it to grow my life.