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April 10

Step by Step

Today, faith that my higher power will open one door if another is shut, be it the door to that job I hoped for but didn’t get, to a reconciliation of a relationship that cannot be mended despite my sincerest efforts, or to anything that I thought I needed and wanted but didn’t get. The higher power replaces what He takes with something else, maybe not what we think we want or need, to be treated grudgingly as a “consolation prize.” I must hold onto the reality that my higher power will provide me with what I need, not necessarily what I want – and I must have faith that He knows better than I that I may not necessarily need what I want. Today, if a door shuts on me, I will not feel trapped or hopeless and instead will seek the door that my higher power is opening. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GUILT AND WORRY

With the Past, as past, I have nothing to do; nor with the Future as future. I live now.

~ Emerson~

We discover a truth about the past and future in our recovery. There are areas over which we have no control, so it’s useless to feel guilty about the past or worry over the future. Our Steps have allowed us to clean the slate and make amends for the mess of the past. We receive a generous and loving forgiveness from our Higher Power.

We ask our Higher Power to accept our past mistakes and to free us from the garbage those mistakes have produced. The future is in God’s hands. There is nothing we can do about what might happen except to pray for acceptance of God’s will. These prayers produce plenty of work for the present. When the future comes, we will be ready.

The amount of time I spend right now feeling guilty or being worried only uses time that I could spend thanking God for the moment I am living. Gratitude will always make mincemeat of guilt and worry.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The problem is this: skills learned in danger require the presence of danger to be effective.

~ Wayne Muller ~

Many of us had stressful childhoods. Some of us lived in chaotic households. Some of us were badly treated by the people we relied on to take care of us. Life often felt dangerous, but we developed skills to deal with the chaos. Some of us learned to keep all our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, some of us learned to please those around us, and some of us learned to avoid all confrontation or disagreement.

These childhood skills, learned through hard lessons in the presence of danger, may have become fixed in our immature minds as the best answers for a lifetime. But in our adult lives, those dangers may no longer be present. No one is beating us up anymore, but we are still flinching. The door is open for us to walk out, but we now must learn the skills of living in a safer world. We can take small steps by saying how we feel, by opening our hearts to trusted friends, and by asking for what we would like and being generous with others. These skills can be learned, just as our childhood skills were learned, and as we gain this knowledge, we have more and more rewarding fives.

Today I will take some risks that are my privilege as an adult, even if they seem risky.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We learn from every experience, in retrospect, that everything has turned out perfectly.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

We can all look back on troubling times and understand how they contributed to our growth as women. At the time, we couldn’t imagine how we would survive. Terror and hopelessness were our companions then. What relief the program has given us! We have a new companion now. And we are growing in wisdom about how perfectly our lives are unfolding. Every experience is giving us new understanding and the strength to go on. More important, we are becoming better prepared to help other women survive similar experiences.

We are being guided on this journey by a Higher Power. Each of us has a place to go, a job to do. Because we suffer from “self-will run riot,” we can take wrong turns. Then we suffer the consequences. Fortunately, our Higher Power is always close at hand, ready to help us when we become willing to ask for help. This is likely the most important lesson we are here to learn: ask our Higher Power for help and we will be shown the way.

I can trust that anything I experience today will benefit my growth. If I ask my Higher Power for help and strength, I will feel peace.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can call my doctor when I need to

After being assessed for medication, I was given the prescription, told how to take it, and told to check with my doctor if I had any problems. I took the medicine as prescribed, but after a day or two, my hands got shaky, my mouth got dry, and I felt nauseated.

I wasn’t sure if I should call. My psychiatrist is very busy, has many patients, and I didn’t want to cause a fuss. But eventually I did call and sure enough he thanked me for the report. He prescribed a change in the dosage and asked me to call back if things dint improve. Fortunately, the adjustment helped, and in this process, I learned another way to take care of myself.

If I have any questions about my medication, or if things don’t seem right, I will call my doctor or therapist.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one’s self.

~ Philip James Bailey ~

Clearly, achieving serenity requires rigorous honesty, especially when it comes to our feelings. We are so adept at masking our vulnerability and imperfections, pretending to know what we can’t possibly know, pretending we have no limits. In this way we often remain untrue to ourselves.

Although it may take many months or even years, we are equal to the difficulty and challenge of rigorous honesty. We can practice openness and avoid using defenses. We can learn to avoid using rage to cover fear and hurt, and avoid using smiles to cover sadness and pain.

In recovery we can learn to know, and tell, our real feelings. We can find harmony with ourselves.

Rigorous honesty can become one of our character traits, particularly when we feel that we no longer have to fear sharing who we really are.

Today help me overcome my fears of being vulnerable and imperfect. Help me achieve serenity by honestly sharing my feelings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

True solitude is the din of birdsong, seething leaves, whirling colors, or a clamor of tracks in the snow.

~ Edward Hoagland ~

For most people, the first and only choice in life is to be with someone or to have someone be there for you. There is no second choice or any “second-best” scenario. You are either in the Land of We, or you are alone. And who wants to be alone? Who chooses to be in the Land of Me?

Many important paths presented to you during your journey in recovery and in life are narrow, winding, steep, and hard to negotiate. They cannot be traveled by walking hand-in-hand with another. These paths must be explored walking single file—in solitude, silence, and singular contemplation. To avoid these paths simply because they require solitude prevents you from developing self-reliance. Without them, you cannot test your wings.

Recovery teaches you not only how to be alone, but also how to choose to be alone. Choosing to be alone builds self-reliance. No one else can do this for you. You must learn to explore your own visions and expand your personal horizons on your own—and when you are alone. In doing so, you become vitally connected to understanding your own capabilities.

Today I will choose moments of solitude so I may test my wings.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

“And this, too, shall pass away.” How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! “And this, too, shall pass away.”

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

Sometimes, when we’re in a dark hour, we may believe time has suddenly stopped. Forever after, we shall always have this pain or sadness or despair. From here on, we think, this is how it’s going to be-minute after minute of pain.

But we need to remember time passes quickly when we’re enjoying ourselves. When we’re in the midst of a negative feeling, every hour seems like two. But this present hour will not endure. Nor the next. Sorrows pass, just as happiness does. Pain passes, just as pleasure does. Nothing really stays the same, nothing ever stands still.

All we need to do, right now, is endure this moment. It, too, shall pass. We need to have strength, patience, faith, and a strong belief that this moment – and the feelings in this moment – will not endure. Time passes, and so will the pain.

Tonight I may need help remembering that this, too, shall pass. How can I let my Higher Power help me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Improving the way we feel

It is hard to see that we lay the groundwork for all our emotions. It’s also hard to accept the fact that we tend to blame our pain on anything or anyone else. That way, we placed all responsibility outside ourselves.

We are the source of most of our troubles, but we can also be the source of our happiness. If we make conditions inside ourselves conducive to joy and happiness, joy and happiness will be a part of us as well. Through God, we can change the conditions inside ourselves.

How am I feeling inside?

Higher Power, help me to make the conditions inside myself a place for good things and not just troubles.

I will improve the way I feel today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I think the one lesson I have learned, is that there is no substitute for paying attention.

~ DIANE SAWYER ~

Newcomer

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I often sit in a meeting just looking at everyone’s shoes and trying to decide which ones I like. Or I may be sort of half listening while looking at what people are wearing or how their hair is cut, trying to figure out whether the same thing would look okay on mo. I guess I sound pretty superficial.

Sponsor

Sometimes the intensity of recovery feels overwhelming. We drift, thinking there’s something wrong with the meeting or with us. Our thoughts are elsewhere, racing a mile a minute, or else we fall asleep. The problem isn’t that we’re easily bored or unwilling to concentrate. More likely, we’re trying to get some relief from feelings that are surfacing within us. A lot happens at meetings. Some people are sharing stories that remind us of our own, and some are sharing their experience of a new way of life that challenges beliefs and habits we’ve held for a long time. It sometimes feels like too much. The experience itself of sitting in a room with other people uses mental and emotional energy, and may raise anxieties for some of us. It takes getting used to. The good news is that in time we do find it easier to be fully present.

Today, I gently let go of concerns about my rate of progress, as I remain consistent about attending meetings and working the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When the wife would take me to task in my drinking days, I would soon show her who was boss of the establishment. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that “When I ceased being Captain of the ship, I would sink it.”

Oh, yes, I was Captain but somehow the ship was continually on the rocks. It wasn’t my fault, understand, the wind and the waves were always against me.

Now I have resigned my commission as Captain, I have a new Navigator and my ship keeps pretty well on its course. I’m only a deck hand now but I’m happier with less responsibility and I am confident it’s much safer.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) HOPE: Hang Onto Power Everyday

2) Action: Utilize, don’t analyze.

3) New Level; New Devil.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Tenth Step Prayer

I pray I may continue;
To grow in understanding and effectiveness;
To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;
To correct mistakes when I make them;
To take responsibility for my actions;
To be ever aware of my negative and self-defeating attitudes and behaviors;
To keep my wilfulness in check;
To always remember I need Your help;
To keep love and tolerance of others as my code;
And to continue in daily prayer how I can best serve You, my Higher Power.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

NO SUPERSTITIONS

Don’t harbour superstitions of any kind, big or little. People often make a fetish of a number or a date, or a keepsake; or they believe certain things bring “bad luck.” This is denying God. The Bible says,

Thou shalt have no other gods before me (Exodus 20:3)

Because thou hast made the Lord . . . thy habitation; There shall no evil befall thee . . . (Psalm 91:9 – 10)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Integrity

Have a purpose in life, and having it, throw into your work such strength of mind and muscle as God gives you.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

The telephone repairman showed me the cause of the terrible static on my line. “Do you see where all these wires come together?” he asked, pointing to the junction of wires from my four house telephones. “This one wire is faulty, and it is polluting the rest of the circuits.” He removed the one wire and let me listen to the other lines, which became perfectly clear.

When one area of our life is out of integrity, it affects all the others. When you compromise or live a lie in an important relationship, it will create static in your career. When you clean up one area that is out of harmony, the other areas will advance at rocket speed.

Purify any parts of my life out of alignment with Your purpose, so I may live as a whole and powerful being.

One with God, I am united with my purpose. My life must succeed in every way.