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April 6

Step by Step

Today, gratitude for the freedom that I have found in sobriety and that the physical and emotional sickness of active drinking exists no more. Drunk, I had no choice but to feel bad physically, mentally and spiritually. I had no choice but to do everything my way because there was no other way. I had no choice but to lie, if even sporadically, to hide or dodge the consequence of some misdeed. I had no choice but to feel self-loathing, pity, shame and guilt because I didn’t know there could be something better. Sober, I have the choice to feel good instead of bad. I have the choice to understand my way isn’t always the best and seek the guidance of something stronger. I have the choice not to lie because I don’t have to anymore. I have the choice to let go of self-deprecation because I have the beginning of a worthy self-image. Today, in sobriety, I have the freedom not to be jailed in the physical, emotional and spiritual cell of intoxication and, God granting, my path to freedom is built on the 12 Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

CHARACTER

Character is what you are in the dark.

~ Dwight L. Moody~

We’re not born with character. We have to build it through patience, self-esteem, and humility. Character is never revealed by what we think or say. No matter how wise our thoughts or our words may be sometimes. Character is what we are underneath all the layer of our defences that we show the world.

Character is an outer show of an inner glow that reaches others or pleases ourselves. It is a reserve force for all of us. Its usefulness goes beyond talent. Its greatest energy comes from personal relations with others.

Character permits us to welcome healthy criticism. It is a force that respects truth and develops will and spirit. It is positive. It stresses action and makes all of these clear to others

Let me examine my character and develop it with patience, self-esteem, and humility.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To age with dignity and with courage cuts close to what it is to be a man.

~ Roger Kahn ~

The healing journey requires courage. We are walking a path that is somewhat off the mainstream. We seek to become better men, better friends, better intimate partners, and better fathers. We seek to grow out of our self-centeredness to be more generous and caring. It takes courage to give up the pursuit of greater and greater control, to give up the empty pursuit of happiness through more material possessions. Courage comes forward when we refuse to use our old escapes and accept our problems so we can deal with them.

Nothing is so bad that it can’t be talked about. When we choose a trustworthy friend to tell our truth to, we see our situation from new angles. We can then have a dialogue with our friend and within ourselves that leads to a new outlook and new solutions. This kind of connection with other men creates new integrity within ourselves and gives us genuine dignity.

Today I will continue to have courage on my journey of healing.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We can say yes to life even at its darkest moments if we can see it as part of the greater reality.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

We glimpse only the opportunities that bear our name during any experience. We have heard many times in this program that we are never given more than we can handle. We can trust that this is true. We have also heard that God tells us only what we need to know right now; the rest will come to us when we are ready, when the time is right. That too we can count on as truth.

It goes without saying, then, that every moment’s experience is part of the bigger design for our lives, a design that always has a positive outcome. If we feel scared or confused by the changes in our lives, it’s only because we have forgotten that God is in charge of the plan for our lives. We can say yes and be at peace.

I know that what comes to me today is a tiny part of God’s big plan for my life. I am not alone.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel a new emotion: joy

When I was using and having symptoms, it was even hard for me to walk with anyone. I felt too fragile. I feared I would not be understood or accepted. In my struggle, I further isolated myself.

But all that has changed. These days I feel a new freedom. I am sober and stable. My medication is helping (and I can deal with the minor side effects). I feel cared for by my sponsor and therapist. I trust them. In fact, I look forward to my next meetings, where I can talk about my new sense of joy. To me, it seems like a new and wonderful word: joy.

I will say a prayer of thanks to my higher power and share my joy.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If the only prayer you say in your life is “thank you,” that would suffice.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

Sincere gratitude is the only attitude that always lifts our spirits. Being grateful for the good things in life can pick us up on days when we seem to be speeding downhill.

Gratitude restores and heals because it lets us stand outside our own small circle of worry to view the bigger picture. It puts us in touch with our Higher Power and the wide-angle view of life. In the light of eternity, how important is our problem of the moment?

Finding something to be grateful for and saying “thank you” gives us hope and a better understanding of our blessings and resources. Some days we may find little to be grateful for, so we start with small things. We start with the ability to get up in the morning and go to bed at night, flowers, sunsets, and the scent of the earth. If we are willing, we will always find an abundance of things to be grateful for.

Today let me cultivate an attitude of gratitude and hope for my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say that I felt younger at sixty than I had felt at twenty.

~ Ellen Glasgow ~

The aging process has been described as a “slippery slope,” “all downhill from here,” and “the beginning of the end.” But such phrases are not necessarily negative. Imagine that the slippery slope represents an ascent rather than a descent. Climbing to the top of a vista enables a much clearer view. So perhaps aging can be seen as a time to rise up and see all that is around you.

“It’s all downhill from here” can represent a time of smooth sailing—one that is free from the anxiety, in-experience, and confusion of youth, when you experience life with less angst and greater gusto. “It’s the beginning of the end” can offer a time for new opportunities and challenges. As one decade of your life draws to a close, a new decade opens up before you.

There are those who, as they age, seem to fade away and others who seem to have more spring in their step and a brighter twinkle in their eyes. You are, as another phrase conveys, “Only as old—or as young—as you feel.”

I will not act my age or behave in ways that others think I should. I will embrace my years with a positive outlook.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Often the test of courage is not to die but to live.

~ Vittorio Alfieri ~

‘Against all odds” is an apt phrase for survival despite the worst conditions. For those of us who have lived in an alcoholic home or with abuse or emotional starkness or poverty or handicap, it has been courageous for us to survive despite the difficulties. Yet many times we may feel it would be easier to give up.

But isn’t courage survival – despite the odds? When we listen to the stories of our program’s members, we need to think of each person as courageous. To live is to grow. To grow well is to strengthen our faith. To have faith is to see beyond ourselves to the completeness of life and our part in it. To be a part of life is to accept what we have and strive to bring what we want into it. To do so is to survive by using the beautiful tools that give us life: hope, faith, and trust.

I am grateful for all I have survived and all I will survive because of my trust and faith in a Higher Power.

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

… and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own.

~ MARY OLIVER ~

Newcomer

I’m royally confused. At one meeting I hear people say how important psychotherapy is; at another, I hear people say that it’s bad—all you need is the Twelve Steps. A speaker I heard mentioned antidepressant drugs and how they’ve changed her life; meanwhile, the man next to me was muttering that that’s not a sober thing to do. I’m wondering what I should do. Maybe I need more than just this program.

Sponsor

The program doesn’t offer professional or scientific advice. Instead, we share our experiences: what got us here, how we’ve stayed clean and sober so far. Once we’ve established new habits in place of old ones, it’s perfectly appropriate to assess our individual needs. Some of us have medical, financial, or legal problems. A few have severe emotional problems. Some of us choose to seek professional help. For me, just plain recovery—staying away from substances one day at a time—had to come first; without it, I couldn’t begin to address the ways I’d neglected my health and well-being. Surprisingly, some of the decisions I struggled hardest with eventually became clear and simple.

As your process of recovery continues, you’ll gain confidence in your intuition and judgment. Many questions that are causing you to experience conflict today will resolve themselves easily in time.

Today, I set controversial questions aside while I learn to stay sober.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Can you imagine a state of mind absolutely free of fear? It is extremely hard for us who have had Fear, Worry and Uncertainty as constant companions most of our lives. To attain such a state of mind is only possible where there is complete Faith in God. Somehow, too, it would appear that it would mean complete faith in our fellow man and in ourselves.

Maybe this is too much to expect but you can try to cultivate more faith day by day and as you do, you will find more and more peace of mind and less and less worry, fear and uncertainty. It works.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Detox: Spin Dry

2) Write a gratitude list and count your blessings.

3) If you lose, you lose.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Sixth Step Prayer

Dear God,

I am ready for Your help in removing from me the defects of character which I now realize are obstacles to my recovery. Help me to continue being honest with myself and guide me toward spiritual and mental health.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON

GOLD

We know that the spiritual consciousness which we are all engaged in building is spoken of in the Bible as the Temple of Solomon. The name Solomon means peaceful, and symbolizes wisdom. This is logical, for peace of mind is the foundation of all spiritual building, the hallmark of understanding.

The Bible states five things were to be found around the temple—for the king had at sea a navy of Tharshish with the navy of Hiram,: once in three years came the navy of Tharshish, bringing gold, and silver, ivory, and apes, and peacocks (1 Kings 10:22)

This scriptural manner of telling us that there are five principal temptations that may come to the soul that is striving to build the spiritual temple. The particular form that each temptation takes will vary according to the soul that is striving to build the spiritual temple. the particular form that each temptation takes will vary according to the temperament and circumstances of the subject, but in principle will be the same.

First comes the gold, and this stands for personal power over other people, the desire to regulate lives, to make them toe the line—our line, naturally—and even to make use of them. Many people on the spiritual path have given way to this temptation. They must dominate other people’s souls. They tell themselves that it is being done for the good of the victims, of course, but it is really a craving for personal power and glorification. It is not an ignoble sin like that connected with the silver, but for that very reason it is far more dangerous, far-searching, and enduring.

The thing that gold symbolizes when rightly understood is the omnipresence of God; and of course religious tyranny is a denial of this. You should do all you can to help, to enlighten, and to inspire others, as far as your own understanding will permit, but you must never try to dictate their convictions; or to hold to your own opinions. Religious tyranny is poisonous to the victims; but it is absolutely mortal to the tyrant.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Reading Skills

The quality of mercy is not strained; it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.

~ William Shakespeare ~

I approached the desk anxiously and handed the tickets to the reservations agent. We needed to change our airline tickets at the last minute, and they were clearly marked “non-changeable, non-refund- able.” While waiting in line, I had considered various excuses, but decided to just go with the truth.

“We would like to delay our return several days,” I explained. “My friend needs to stop in Los Angeles, and I need to stay here in San Francisco.” The agent studied the tickets and went into the computer record. After a few moments, he told us, “This record says that these tickets cannot be changed.” My heart tightened. “It says here that if you want to make these changes, it will cost you an extra $900.” Whoa. Then he looked at me and smiled. “But I’m not a very good reader. I don’t see why you should have to pay all of that.” He issued me a new ticket with my desired date and gave my partner a free ticket to Los Angeles. “Have a nice flight,” he added.

Sitting on the airplane, tears welled up in my eyes. That man didn’t have to be so kind. He could have quoted chapter and verse and enforced the extra payment penalty. But he didn’t. I began to consider the situations in which I might give someone a similar gift by reducing my reading skills, or overlooking what the rules said in favor of mercy and forgiveness. I remembered Jesus telling the Pharisees that they were caught up in every jot and tittle of the law while completely overlooking the spirit.

Take a few moments to consider your reading skills. Whose day or life could you brighten by letting go of punishing laws and extending a little extra kindness? As you release, so will you be released.

Help me to grow beyond smallness. Inspire me to show mercy.
Help me to overlook and forgive, that I may be forgiven.

My acts of mercy build a forgiving world.