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November 7

Step by Step

“The last …years of my life have been rich and meaningful. I have had my share of problems, heartaches and disappointments, because that is life, but also I have known a great deal of joy, and a peace that is the handmaiden of an inner freedom. I have a wealth of friends and, with my AA friends, an unusual quality of fellowship. For, to these people, I am truly related. First, through mutual pain and despair, and later through mutual objectives and new-found faith and hope. And, as the years go by, working together, sharing our experiences with one another, and also sharing a mutual trust, understanding and love – without strings, without obligation – we acquire relationships that are unique and priceless.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three,” Ch 12 (“The Keys of the Kingdom”), p 312.

Today, I will not forget my beginning in AA and the “mutual pain and despair” with other newcomers and, now, the “mutual objectives and new-found faith and hope” of recovery and sobriety. Whether I recognize it, this is progress. If the pain and despair when I arrived in AA have been replaced with faith and hope, I am moving forward. I cannot expect sobriety to spare me the “problems, heartaches and disappointments” that come with life, but I can expect to meet them sober – as long as I do what Program advises: one step and one day at a time. Today, if I can say my despair of my first days in the Program has been replaced with hope and faith, I can also say I’m moving where I need to move – forward. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris, M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-APPROVAL

We can gain other people's approval if we do right and try hard but our own approval is worth a hundred times more.

~ Mark Twain ~

It is a plus factor in character growth if others like us, especially if they believe we are worth knowing. But unless we like who we really are, what we are doing and what we want to make of ourselves by our own efforts, we are in danger of making little progress in building our self-esteem.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves. We learn that not only do we forgive others but also we forgive ourselves. We develop an honest pride in how we have grown in our recovery program. We have learned in our Program that people-pleasing is a dead end. Those who, at times, feel that they are not really changing, should look in mirrors.

Learning to like myself is one of the most valuable lessons the Program teaches me. My life is mine and not based on other people's approval.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Truly, when the need is greatest, then God’s help is always nearest. Should we not willingly offer our hands and heart where help is still possible?

~ Theresa Gerhardinger ~

In the Twelfth Step of our recovery program, we tell our stories to others who need to hear that there is hope. As we live in our circle of recovering people, we can lose sight of the fact that more people still die of their addictions than recover. We never forget how dismal and futile life becomes in the grip of addiction and codependency, and how desperately we needed a way out. By the grace of God, help was there for us. Now we find meaning and spiritual growth by telling our stories of hope to others.

We still can slip into dark moods and self-pity. That is when we benefit most from reaching out, not so much to get help as to pass it on to those who need help. Sometimes the help we give is by inviting someone to come with us to a meeting. Other times we can give help by mentoring a young child, donating food to hungry people, visiting old people who are lonely, or volunteering at our community celebration.

Today I will look for ways to reach out to others in need.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Learning and maturation in the life of the spirit: cannot be hurried, and as in physical and intellectual development, a great deal depends on our readiness.

~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~

We are ready for a spiritually directed life. It took us many stress-filled years to get here, and a number of us survived harrowing experiences during the journey. Even when we didn’t understand our search, we wanted security and knowledge of how to live. But we didn’t know we were on this path.

Now that we’re here, some of us expect to know joy, serenity, and security in a flash. For a very few, a profound spiritual experience happens quickly. But most of us have to wait and work on our willingness and readiness to follow the path that leads to God.

How do we become willing? The Steps will guide our actions and our thoughts, and make us ready to receive the blessings we seek

God will recognize my desire for peace by the way I act today. I will have peace if I treat others peacefully.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am understood and cared for

I have a dual disorder. My parents don't much understand my illnesses. In fact, it feels as though they blame me for them sometimes.

This is why I am grateful for my recovering friends in both my Step group and support group. They help keep me sober and stable. And through them I am coming to accept the fact that these illnesses are not my fault—and not understood by many people. I trust that if I stick with my recovery plan, I will continue to get better and get out on my own again. I have a higher power who is helping me see to that.

Today I will meditate on my gratitude for all the caring people in my life.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Freedom is not safety, but opportunity.

~ Zechariah Chafee, Jr. ~

In early recovery, some of us heave a sigh of relief thinking the work is over at last, that now we can sit back and take it easy. We may think things will come easily to us now that we’ve done so much hard work.

Then we find ourselves surprised when life goes on around us at its usual hectic pace. Things keep popping up, and not always things we like. At this point, some of us give up. We want life to be safe and calm. We feel we’re entitled to sunny days after so much rain.

But we can’t stop the process of change. Instead, we can view change as an opportunity for growth. Every new situation offers us a challenge, and every challenge offers us the chance to strengthen our recovery muscles a little more. When we feel fearful and timid we can teach ourselves to be assertive. When we’re exhausted we can learn to care for our bodies so they can carry us in the days ahead. When our lives are too filled with stress we can leam ways to reduce our load and relax. When we face life this way, we become excited about change. Now we’re finding even more peace and serenity as we meet each new challenge with a joyful heart.

Today help me to accept change as part of the challenge of recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.

~ Don Wilder and Bill Rechin ~

Not everyone is blessed with artistic creativity, an athletic ability, or savvy business sense. But when you tell people that you cannot draw, sing, throw a discus, or cook, such things are simply not true.

You can draw something, even if the image is scribbling. You can sing, even if it is off-key. You can try to throw a discus, even if it does not go very far. And you can cook something, even if it is as simple as boiling water for pasta. Saying “I cannot do this" whenever you face a task or opportunity that comes your way releases you from taking responsibility.

Today resolve to make no excuses. Whenever you face something hard or seemingly insurmountable, say, “I will try.” Whenever you think you cannot make it through the day without a drink, say, “I will not drink at this moment.” Whenever you need to make amends to someone you have harmed, do not give excuses for why you did something. Simply say you are sorry. The life you create for yourself is one that will either be dictated by your excuses, or freed from the constraints excuses provide.

Today I will create a way of life in which I make no excuses.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

And if you but listen in the stillness of the night you shall hear. . . . It is Thy urge in us that would turn our nights, which are Thine, into days, which are Thine also.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

How much would we benefit from the program if we went to meetings with cotton stuffed in our ears? We could use the Steps and read the literature, but how would we learn from others about the strength, hope, and experience of the program?

Listen and Learn may be one of the hardest slogans for us to follow. Many times we come to meetings ready to dump our problems on the group. Sometimes we sit in judgment of those around us. Each of us, no matter what our background or age, shares a commonality. Each of us has something important to share, whether the words be delivered eloquently or with humor, sadness, or simplicity.

We can pause before we speak to listen to others. By opening our ears, we are opening our minds to learn about ourselves through the words of others.

Can I listen to those around me? What can I learn that might help me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Pleasing ourselves

Many of our character defects stem from a motive to be acceptable on a social level. We worry about our popularity, our career prospects, our financial future, our reputation, and so on. By trying to please others, we exaggerate our real capabilities and may even lie to impress people.

We sometimes agree to do favors for others when we really can’t or when we don’t even want to. We become resentful. Others resent us or find us unreliable for not living up to our promises. We’re not here to please people for the sake of pleasing people. We’re here to please our Higher Power. Just know-ing this causes many of our character defects to fade.

Do I know it’s not necessary to please everybody all the time?

Higher Power, show me how to please you and me and how to stop worrying about pleasing others.

I will try to please my self today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

You have to believe in happiness.

~ DOUGLAS MALLOCH ~

Newcomer

You've been encouraging me to take the risk of trying new things and thinking about what my personal goals are. I'm confused. If I pray only for knowledge of my Higher Power's will for me, aren't I negating myself? Does being sober mean I can't have any desires or goals of my own?

Sponsor

We know what our lives were like in active addiction; we know what they are in recovery. Something in us can see clearly that the real life, the one we're meant to have, the one our souls desire, depends on staying away from addictive substances and behaviors. Why imagine that the Source of Life wants us to have anything but full recovery, anything less than the ability to make our own sober choices? Would Eternal Truth require us to behave like puppets? Would a Creator want us to stifle the creativity within us?

Our relationship with a Power greater than ourselves includes listening to our own hearts. Underneath fear, underneath shame, underneath rebellion, underneath self- rejection, there is wholeness, joy, and the desire to live. It's here that we find our true purpose and the way to fulfill it.

Today, I trust the voice of health, sanity, and self-love that is growing more articulate within me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Every one of us alcoholics arrived at the point where we felt that all was lost. If we had not felt this way we would never have confessed that our lives were unmanageable. It was a stupendous admission for us and would never have happened except for the desperation that engulfed us.

Our lives had been totally wrecked, it is true, yet God has never yet failed to give man a second chance. Don't muff it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

God Is Doing for Us

Dear God, as I practice patience, belief, and trust in surrendering to Your will for me, I now trust that solutions and miracles come in Your time, not mine. This Promise tells me I must accept Your help, not merely be resigned to it. I pray I will let go of my problems and turn them over to You with faith.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SECRET OF SUCCESSFUL SALESMANSHIP

True salesmanship means finding out what your customer really needs, and supplying him with it; or if you cannot furnish it yourself, advising him to go elsewhere. Such a policy will not mean loss of business. On the contrary, working in this way you may lose one order but you will get half a dozen in its place—and you will have peace of mind. Any one particular sale does not matter; it is the annual turnover that counts.

The policy, the Golden Rule, was taught by Jesus, the wisest and most practical teacher who ever lived. Salesman treat your customer exactly as you would like him to treat you if the positions were reversed. Tell him exactly what you would like to be told about the merchandise, if you were the purchaser; and if you will do this the whole universe will cooperate to make your business career an outstanding success.

Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my God: thy spirit is good . . . (Psalm 143:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

You Get Paid for This?

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for doing it.

~ Katherine Whitehorn ~

As I paged through Frank Levinson’s Adventures on Horseback guest book, I occasionally glanced out the picture window from his ranch, overlooking meadows, palm trees, and ocean panorama. Amid the many enthusiastic comments, one caught my eye: “And you get paid for this? I’m sending you my resume!” The writer was referring to the fact that Frank is living his dream and being supported for it. Frank has taken what many people consider vacation, and turned it into vocation.

Here are some points to consider when trying to assess whether or not you are in your right job: You know you are in your right place if you feel you should be paying people to let you do what they are already paying you to do. And you know you are in your wrong place if you are laboring in a position that is made worthwhile only by the money.

Some other good diagnostic questions for right livelihood are: Do you get up in the morning with a sense of enthusiasm, looking forward to what is before you? Do you feel creative and inspired to expand? Do you have more energy at the end of your work session than when you began? Do people thank you for making their life easier or more beautiful? Do you feel that Spirit is working through you to deliver results that you could not have manifested on your own? Would you want your child to create a profession with the attitude you hold toward yours?

You deserve to be paid for doing what you love. You deserve to be up–lifted by what you do. You deserve to live your personal destiny through your vocation. Don’t waste any more time in an unfulfilling job; begin now to create the life your heart yearns to live. Someday someone will write in your guest book, “And you get paid for this?”

Help me to find peace and fulfillment in my work.

I am richly rewarded for following my dreams.