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From the Book

If You Want What We Have:
Sponsorship Meditations
By Joan Larkin

©1998 Joan Larkin

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…that they may solve their common problem…
ALCOHOLICS ANNONYMOUS PREAMBLE



Newcomer
When they say we’re here to solve our common problems, I’m really put off. Adults should be able to handle their problems on their own, shouldn’t they?

Sponsor
We don’t go to meetings to solve our “problems” but rather our “problem”—singular. Meeting address the problem none of us could solve on our own; the disease of addiction.

I can identify with your discomfort at the thought of accepting help from a group of people. I’ve always wanted to think of myself as independent. Talking about what’s bothering me feels like I’m risking my pride, my privacy, and my autonomy.

Deep down, though, I care a great deal about what other people think of me. I’m afraid that if they really get to know me, they’ll find out I’m not good enough. I’m afraid they’ll want more from me than I’m capable of giving. I’d rather believe that I don’t need others than risk being challenged or let down by them.

I’m not alone in having these fears and resentments of others. Most of us who’ve resorted to addictive substances or behaviors have problems in our relationships with other people.

When, through the help of other recovering people, we solve our common problem of addiction, we become truly independent. We’re free of our deadly attachment to a drug. We’re free to acknowledge our connections with other human beings.

Today, I add the word “help” to my vocabulary.