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October 4

Step by Step

“For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 542.

Today, how not to interfere with anyone’s growth – emotional and spiritual – including my own. If the traditional definition of philosophy as an ideal state of life is applied to AA, then, no, AA is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a discipline because AA does not promise a rose garden with sobriety but gives us the tools to effectively deal with the thorns in the rose bed. And discipline is required to stick to the steps that help us deal effectively with the thorns of life. How do I not impede anyone’s personal growth, including my own? Simple: look to Step 11 and seek my higher power’s will and the ability to carry it out. His will, not mine, be done. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FORGIVENESS

To err is human, to forgive divine.

~ Alexander Pope ~

True healing requires that we give back freely what we received freely. We have been accepted by our Highest Power and forgiven our mistakes. We must pass on that forgiveness. We have to learn to accept the fact that we sometimes hurt others in ways which we are not aware. If a person comes to us and asks for forgiveness, it is important for our own well-being that we pass it on.

It does us no good to hang on to resentments and bitterness for another person. This is an extremely serious matter. Our recovery can be in danger if we withhold our forgiveness. It is equally true that there is nothing we have done for which we cannot be forgiven. God's love for us is unlimited. We need only ask. We always have an opportunity for a second start.

I forgive as I am forgiven, I have learned in recovery to accept being human and not perfect. What I am is different from what I used to think I should or ought to be.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The more we allow ourselves to be servants of having, the more we shall let ourselves fall prey to the gnawing anxiety which having involves.

~ Gabriel Marcel ~

In our consumer-driven world we are flooded with tempting advertising images that promise us happiness, power, and virility if we buy these products. Success in this consumer world means financial wealth rather than good character or playing the hand we are dealt. The phrase quality of life often refers to material wealth, not to the quality of one’s personal relationships.

We are following an alternative path. On this path, material goods are just trappings to be used and shared, never to define us. Our worth as a man is never measured by the car we drive or the clothes we wear. The guy who drives an old beater and the guy in a hot sports car are equals. No matter how many toys we have, and no matter how badly we have screwed up our lives, God loves His creation and wants the best for us.

Today I will keep my eye on the real ingredients of my “quality of life.”

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

How often in my loneliness I have said things I didn’t sincerely mean just to please another.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

Our desire to bond with others can be intense. In our youth we followed the pack, even when we knew we’d be punished after we got home. Our need to belong hasn’t lessened in adulthood. Before getting clean and sober, we formed alliances with many men and women who didn’t share our view of life. We relied on these attachments, because loneliness was too overwhelming and anyone was better than no one.

Today we know that the Twelve Step program has given us what we needed all along. What a life- saver! And all that’s been asked of us in return is our presence at meetings and our willingness to let other people really know us. It’s so simple. We’re surrounded by women who want to share our lives, who have similar stories, who searched as we did in all the wrong places. These bonds are offered sincerely.

If I feel myself ready to go along with something to which I don’t agree, it’s my cue to call a sponsor or a friend for the intimacy I crave.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will be taken care of

Given a childhood of parental neglect—and then years of neglecting and abusing myself—I wasn’t sure how much I really wanted to survive. I felt I had nothing and no one. Without faith or trust, I finally hit bottom—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

And then something wonderful happened: I found the Twelve Step fellowship. I found people like myself, people who accept, understand, and care about me. I found a higher power and the Twelve Steps to guide me. I could never have envisioned these changes. They're gifts, and I am deeply grateful.

Today I will carry the message of hope.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Only the brave know how to forgive.

~ Laurence Sterne ~

We hold onto resentment, old pain, and grudges to hurt others. Instead, they hurt us, weighing us down and creating a barrier between us and the rest of the world. As long as our hands are full of old hurts we can’t reach for freedom, joy, and love.

The key to ending resentment is forgiveness and surrender to a Higher Power. When we learn to accept others as they are without making judgments or taking their inventory, we can live and let live. We can come to understand that others acted as they did not to hurt us, but because it filled their needs.

As we come closer to uncritical acceptance of God’s will, we also find we’re able to forgive our own faults as easily as we do the faults of others. As we learn to accept others just as they are we begin to accept ourselves a little more. And soon we find resentments fading, replaced by a new acceptance of God’s will for ourselves and others. Now we can let go of old pain and make room for joy.

Today help me let go of resentment and accept myself and others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Just as you began to feel that you could make good use of time, there was no time left to you.

~ Lisa Alther ~

In one neighborhood the houses had clean windows, the lawns were cared for, and the driveways were free from clutter. But there was one home that had peeling paint, a yard full of overgrown weeds, and a driveway filled with junk. One day a man knocked on the door of the unkempt house and said to the owner, “I will give you $86,400. But you must use it wisely.” The owner gladly accepted the money and shut the door.

Later that evening the man knocked on the door. “Please tell me what you did today,” he asked.

“Well,” the owner replied, “because you gave me so much money, I decided to blow off work. I slept in and watched television. Then I ordered a pizza, watched some more television, and fell asleep again.”

The man then asked for his money back.

“But you gave it to me,” the owner said.

“Actually what I gave you was the gift of time,” the man answered. “In each day you are given 86,400 seconds. If you use that time wisely, then you will have received its full value. But if you waste it, you will never get it back."

Today I will not squander the time I have been given. I will use each second wisely.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

All our actions take their hue from the complexion of the heart, as landscapes their variety from light.
~ Francis Bacon ~

Tests have proven color and light play a significant role in influencing our moods. Even if we don't believe such statements, we can recall how we feel at the onset of a brilliant sunrise or breathtaking sunset. We can remember how we feel after two or three days of gray, overcast skies. The bright and vibrant colors stimulate our senses, and we react to them differently than we react to gray, dark colors.

The colors we wear and the way we decorate our living spaces are pretty accurate reflections of how we feel about life and ourselves. Sometimes dressing in a more brilliant or a softer color can subtly change our mood from sad to happy. Sometimes imagining we are surrounded by a healing color—one of our favorite colors, perhaps—can help lift our spirits. Just as we give a coloring book and crayons to a child, so can we give ourselves a palette of beautiful colors with which to paint ourselves.

I can create a wonder of colors within me and around me. I can color me beautiful!

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Trying to escape

In an attempt to get out of the box we found ourselves in, many of us tried the geographic escape. We moved from place to place. Invariably, we found ourselves in pretty much the same, if not a worse, situation.

We knew we had real emotional and material problems, but we weren’t aware that using chemicals was actually causing much of our distress. The chemicals induced a state of mind that led to behavior patterns that wouldn’t have occurred had we not been “out of our minds.”

Have I stopped trying to escape?

Higher Power, help me to know that it’s not my location that makes the difference in my life, it’s what I’m working with inside.

Today, instead of seeking escape, I will try to improve my situation by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

~ JAPANESE PROVERB ~

Newcomer

Why is there a need for a Tenth Step, when we've already done "a searching and fearless inventory" in Step Four?

Sponsor

Accepting the need to live my life a day at a time isn't easy for me. I've always wanted to know what was going to happen for the rest of my life. But in life, things are always changing and unfolding.

The Fourth Step helped us to see our past behavior more clearly. But our lives aren't over. We need to continue to be conscious of our motives and of the impact our behavior has on ourselves and others.

We have a need for the Tenth Step because we're human and because we have addictions. People in recovery aren't infallible. Recovery has given us new options for dealing with difficult situations, but we don't always turn to them. There are times when, in pain or fear or confusion, we rely on an old habit instead of on the principles of the program. As with Step Four, Step Ten helps to keep us from using addiction to anaesthetize our feelings over things we wish we'd done differently.

Today, I scan through my past twenty-four hours. I give myself credit for a day of recovery. I don't hesitate to acknowledge any wrongs that I'm aware of having committed.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You cannot sell a man a bill of goods without selling yourself. This is the experience of all those who speak at meetings or attempt to carry the message to other alcoholics.

Whether your talks help the other guy or not, you may never know, but your efforts have not been in vain for you will have undoubtedly helped yourself in the attempt.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

This First Step

Lord, I have nothing.
My addiction has taken my spirit and my sanity
I have lost my family and my soul.
My life is no longer my own.
Help me to restore my life so it is manageable;
Make my pains bearable.
I cannot do it alone—I have tried.
Today I ask that You will be with me
as I take this First Step.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE KINDLING OF GOD

Read Psalm 18.

In verse 28 the Psalmist moves to another phase of the teaching. Thou wilt light my candle : the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

Many similes have been offered by religious teachers to illustrate the relationship between God and man. One of the best known and most helpful is to think of man as a spark from a great fire, which is God. The spark is not the whole of the fire but it is part of it, and therefore of the same nature' and possesses, potentially, all the characteristics of the parent fire. It can ignite many things upon which it falls, thus producing another fire essentially of the same nature as the original fire.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Agree on What?

Let not littleness lead God's Son into temptation.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

I saw a television news story about a priest who had covertly molested many children in his Catholic elementary school. When he was reported after many years, scores of children came forth to corroborate his crimes. The priest was deposed and became the object of considerable legal motions. In viewing a meeting of an ad hoc group of the now-grown adults who had been abused, I felt disturbed by the mob energy generated. These people were severely angry, and the primary intention of the group was to punish the priest. While they were performing a great service to get him out of his position so that he could do no further damage, I observed a cry for vengeance that debilitated those who voiced it. Their gathering reinforced the message, "We are victims, and we want blood."

It occurred to me that the members of this group would help themselves most by dealing with their pain and rage. What they needed was not retribution, but to become free of the wrath they were embroiled in. By focusing on punishing their perpetrator, they were not growing beyond their experience, but merely reinforcing it.

We must be careful about what we get together to agree on. Agreement is powerful, and it can be misused. Jesus said, "Wherever two or more are gathered in my name, there am I," indicating that a shared acceptance of Spirit brings healing. It may also be said that wherever two or more are gathered in the name of fear, only more darkness ensues.

My teacher Hilda explained that the worst use of a marriage or friendship is to agree on shared victimhood. When we band together to define ourselves as small, we become only smaller. When we join to affirm our power to love and heal, we become infinitely powerful. Take care to agree that you are great and not wounded.

Help me to align with those who empower me to be great in strength and not small in weakness.

I agree with those who affirm my wholeness and perfection.