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October 13

Step by Step

“A ‘spiritual experience’ to me meant attending meetings, seeing a group of people, all there for the purpose of helping each other; hearing the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at a meeting, and hearing the Lord’s Prayer, which in an AA meeting has such great meaning – ‘Thy will be done, not mine.’ A spiritual awakening soon came to mean trying each day to be a little more thoughtful, more considerate, a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), p 381.

Today, if somewhere in AA I have become even “a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact,” I may not yet realize I have experienced a spiritual awakening. And to experience such an awakening, maybe I can understand the spiritual component of the program even if I still think I have no faith. To have a spiritual experience even if it is something as seemingly minor as being a little more courteous to other people, logically requires a spiritual belief – even if I cannot or will not acknowledge it. Today, if I can honestly see even a small change in myself for the better, I may be starting to see the possibility of a power greater than myself. If so, I’m on the right track toward recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REMEMBER WHEN

We can be positive that our active addiction was negative.

~ Anonymous ~

The memory of our First Step is a memory we want to keep always fresh in our minds. The First Step asks us to "remember when."

We never leave our First Step. It is current history. It is now. We will hear in meetings someone tell a story of relapse. "After three months, I went out. . . . After six months. . . . After one year. . . ."

We never outgrow our First Step. In fact, we never have more than one day of abstinence. We all have one more relapse in us, but do we have one more recovery? We go to meetings first and foremost to remember who we are and what it used to be like. When we want to go to a meeting, we can walk; when we don't, we should run.

I will always "remember when." When I forget about my First Step, I am destined to repeat it again.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.

~ Thomas Fuller ~

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distinction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly— that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force—new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We know our greatest anger, as well as our deepest love, in our roles as daughters, sisters, lovers, wives, and mothers.

~ Harriet Lemer ~

Denying our anger is not unusual. We were trained well in our families to deny anger and repress other feelings, such as love. We are suffering from the repercussions of that training now.

It is okay to be angry, but how we deal with anger is important. Using it against ourselves or to manipulate others is not healthy. Acknowledging anger is the first step to being free of it. That sounds easy, but if we were raised to deny anger, admitting we feel it is risky. Our sponsors and friends who share this program are role models we can follow. There is a lot of hard work ahead of us in recovery if we’re angry. But if we weren’t ready for it, we wouldn’t be here. We get the opportunities for growth that we are prepared to handle. Let’s trust our feelings and share them all at last.

It is safe to talk about my anger today. I will be honest with those I can trust. My happiness is tied to my honesty.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to take more responsibility for my recovery

At first I didn't want treatment at all. I felt sorry for myself because of my problems—I didn’t like my moods or the way I was drinking—but I wasn't willing to do much about them. I didn't think they were serious.

But a trip to detox helped to change my mind. Finally I could admit to my dual disorder and I could face my need to deal with it. Nobody can recover for me. My doctor or counselor or group or sponsor or friends can offer guidance and support, but it is up to me to follow through and make the changes. With the help of my higher power, I will do what I need to do.

I will meditate on how I can strengthen and support my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Character is a victory, not a gift.

~ Ivor Griffith ~

When our “King Baby” attitude rears its head, we want our life to be in order— NOW. It is inconceivable to us that our character needs changing: “Surely my wife is causing my anguish;” “If you knew my kids, you’d see why I drink.”

But somewhere down the line we wake up and learn that our character might need a little more fixing than we thought. If we are honest with ourselves we must admit we can be bossy, and yes, we like things our way.

But now we’re growing serene enough to realize that others have problems, too. The kids are struggling with the same things we struggled with, and in a world more complicated and dangerous than ours. If we’ve been lucky, our spouse or partner has stuck with us all this way, even though it hasn’t been easy or the way they would have chosen.

Life would be easier if things always went our way, but now we are equal to the challenge of compromise and capable of redirecting our attitudes. Now that we have been given back our self-respect, it’s time to give our respect and understanding to others.

Today help me see my arrogance and inflexibility. Help me bend to another’s needs when it is warranted.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A child’s attitude toward everything is an artist’s attitude.

~ Willa Cather ~

Imagine that you have set aside a few hours to take your children to the park. To provide entertainment, you pack a bag with things to keep them occupied—some balls, a game, and art supplies. When you arrive at the park, the children want to run around in circles chasing each other, roll and tumble on the ground, and look up at the clouds. They do not need a planned activity; all they want to do is play.

When you look at the world through a child’s eyes, you will see a world of freedom and creativity, where there is no concept of time or reality. It is a world in which anything can happen, if you only wish it or imagine it.

Play is an important part of life—both for children as well as for adults. If all you are doing in your life is working at your job, your relationship, and your recovery, then nil you are doing is working. There needs to be some time in your life in which you offset the seriousness of work with spontaneity. There is wonder, marvel, and magic in life. Take time to engage in playfulness, and you can rediscover the fun in life.

What can I do today to help me feel as happy and carefree as a child?

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I could almost dislike the [person] who refuses to plant walnut trees because they do not bear fruit till the second generation. . . .

~ Sir Walter Scott ~

There once was a man who wanted to give up his high-salary job to start a Christmas tree farm. He told his friends about his dream. The first thing they asked him is how much money would he make. “A lot," he said, "once it gets started." "How long will that take?" they wondered. "Years," was his reply. “First I have to purchase the land, then prepare the soil, then plant the seedlings, then tend them with care until they mature. By the time I'm forty-five," he concluded, “I’ll have my first Christmas trees to sell."

None of his friends could understand why he would want to take a risk on such a long-term venture. But deep down inside he knew this was his dream and this would make him happy. It didn't matter how long it took for him to get what he wanted. What was important was that he was working on his dream.

Do I have any long-range dreams I believe will never happen because they'll take too long? Tonight I can visualize my dream and take the first step toward making it happen.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

People-pleasing

People-pleasing! Why do we spend so much time and energy trying to please other people? We sometimes find ourselves saying yes to every request made of us. Perhaps we try to please people in exchange for affirmation. Perhaps we feel guilty about our past and want to make up for it. Or maybe we just need to be in the limelight.

People-pleasing or being yes-people only hurts us. What is not coming from our hearts and is not done in the true spirit of loving is only another game of martyrdom or egoism. We are learning not to play these games any longer.

Do I serve others from the heart?

Higher Power, I need not please those around me to be a nice person, but I do need to serve others through you in the true spirit of love.

Today I will examine my true feelings about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.

~ RITA MAE BROWN ~

Newcomer

I spoke up at work about a situation that I'm starting to find unacceptable. A person in a position superior to mine speaks to me in a way that's disrespectful. I'm good at the work I do, but this person is always tearing me down. I told her that I wanted her to treat me differently, and she seemed surprised and then defensive. When I was talking to her, I felt calm, centered, and strong. When I got home, I was shaking. I feel as if I'm going to be punished.

Sponsor

Each time we represent ourselves as people whose needs deserve to be taken seriously, we're strengthened. In time, it becomes second nature. We're less likely to let unacceptable situations build up over a long period of time; we recorganize and address them promptly.

At first, we may have experiences like the one you describe: we're able to assert ourselves, but then suffer a kind of emotional "backlash." Maybe we've always taken what others dished out and have accumulated reserves of anger, or maybe we unleashed rage beyond anything the current situation merited. In either case, we reacted inappropriately, inviting others to retaliate. As our self-esteem is strengthened by recovery we're no longer able to participate silently in unacceptable situations. I want to congratulate you for having the dignity and the courage to speak your truth, and to do it in a calm, undramatic way. Eventually, you'll lose the need to inflict punishment on yourself for speaking up.

Today, I'm neither a victim nor an aggressor. I'm proactive in my life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

What will be the ultimate result if AA becomes too attractive? It is felt now that some people are joining our ranks, not because they have a major drinking problem, but because they fear they have alcoholic tendencies. Our meetings are interesting, friendly and informative. Will AA degenerate into a Social Club and cease to be the last refuge of the suffering alcoholic?

Will we find eventually that we have too many "enjoying" AA and too few fully appreciating the “responsibilities" that attend our membership?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Our Faithful, Unchangeable Friend

How good is the God we adore,
Our faithful, unchangeable friend!
His love is as great as His power,
And knows neither limit nor end!
Our Creator, the First and the Last,
Whose Spirit shall guide us safely home,
We'll praise Him for all that is past,
We'll trust Him for all that's to come.

~ by Joseph Hart ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TACKLING THAT BUGBEAR

When what seems an especially difficult problem or a great emergency presents itself, many students of Truth start by thinking, “This is very serious," and then proceed to brace themselves mentally for a supreme effort; and plan to pray exceedingly “hard” in order to meet the difficulty.

All this is quite wrong. It simply builds up the problem into something far bigger than it was originally. The right attitude, the one that bring Victory, is to think “God can and will solve this problem.”

Instead of speaking the Word from the low altitude of fear and limitation, and trusting to effort to magnify the Lord, stop thinking of the problem altogether, and rise in consciousness. Having now attained a higher level—speak the Word gently from that level, and your problem will be solved.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful . . . (Hebrews 4:12).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Mirror's Gift

We think in secret and it comes to pass; Environment is our looking glass.

~ James Allen ~

One day while living in a farming community, I sat on a porch and watched Pete the duck quack at several people on their way to lunch. As the first lady, a singer, passed Pete, she exclaimed, "Why Pete, how nice of you to sing me a morning song!" The next person was somewhat overweight. When Pete quacked at her, she retorted, "Always quacking for more food, Pete-it's about time you got serious about your diet!" The final person to pass was a cerebral intellectual. When Pete quacked at him, he responded, "Questions, Pete, always questions! How about some answers for a change?" Meanwhile, Pete just went on quacking.

Each of us sees the world not as it is, but as we are. The world we experience is a direct result of the vision we are using. If we see a cruel and threatening world, we are filtering it through cruel and threatening thoughts. If we look upon a world of beauty and delight, we must hold those thoughts to create that perception.

At any moment, we can choose which vision we will employ and which world we will live in. Even if we have chosen dark or painful thoughts, we can shift our vision and immediately transform our experience. The world we see reflects the thoughts with which we build it.

Show me the beauty, goodness, and purity that reflects my true self.

My vision is God's. My beautiful thoughts create a beautiful world.