Welcome kgruben, thank you for sharing. We have to go through what we went through to get to where we are in today. You can't help someone until they are willing to change, and as you know from Al-Anon, sobriety brings a new perspective on things.
May I suggest you live in today and let go of the should have, could haves, of yesterday. You are as powerless now as you were then, even if he is sober today. You need to allow your ex-husband time to heal.
Have you looked at your side of the street, during your marriage. Marriage is a two way street. Don't put your life on hold waiting for it to happen.
We need to be complete and whole within ourselves and have that person in our life because we want them there, not because we need them there. Two needy people doesn't make for a healthy relationship.
I pray all goes well for you.
