[bluidkiti]

June 7

Wisdom for Today
Boredom can be a real enemy of an addict or alcoholic early in recovery. Idle time can bring on a busy mind. I know I struggled with this issue a lot in my early days. I had grown so attached to the excitement and rush of the nightlife that going to another meeting just didn’t seem to take the place of chasing the dream of being high or wasted again. Now that I was clean and sober didn’t mean that I was out of the woods yet. I had time on my hands and didn’t know what to do with it. My mind frequently would be preoccupied with romancing the high again. It wasn’t that I was bored; it was the fact that I was grieving the loss of my previous lifestyle. I didn’t miss the insanity, but I did miss the fun, I missed the camaraderie of my using and drinking buddies.
But I told myself I was bored. In truth I was depressed and lonely and sad. I would even get into playing games with myself and trying to convince myself I didn’t need to go to a meeting. Then one night I heard someone say, “When I think I don’t need a meeting, that is when I need to go the most.” This didn’t make any sense to me at the time, but I am glad I listened to this suggestion. Months later when I really began to settle into recovery and my brain started to clear more, I could really see how I was setting myself up. I could see the addictive preoccupation I had. I do not know how I made it through this time without using or drinking; I just know that going to meetings saved me from returning to the insanity. Do I accept that I will always need meetings?
Meditations for the Heart
In the program, camaraderie with drinking buddies and using friends is replaced with fellowship. This fellowship often happens before meetings and again after meetings. It occurs in time spent with sponsors and in time spent at conventions, workshops, and program social events. It also occurs in relationship with a Higher Power. Today I know how important this fellowship is with others in the program. Much of what I have learned along the way has occurred outside of the meetings themselves. The reality is that many of my toughest battles in recovery have been fought with the help of others who were willing to spend time with me before or after a meeting. Service work also has helped me gain a deeper appreciation of all that goes on behind the scenes. It has also helped me grow in many ways. Do not underestimate the importance of this fellowship with others; for many of us this is where real change occurs. Do I take advantage of opportunities to build fellowship with others?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
This day is not unlike others. I stand here before You as an alcoholic and addict. Help me this day to do the next right thing. Encourage me to be in fellowship with others. Grant me this day ears to listen to every suggestion that is offered. Give me wisdom to use these suggestions in ways to help me grow in my recovery.
Amen