[bluidkiti]

September 3

Step by Step

"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." - Step Ten

" ...Step Ten ...suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. ...Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 ("Into Action"), p 84.

Today, let me not neglect Step 10 as the extension of the Fourth Step, that the reason for the 10th is to maintain for the rest of my life the clean-up from the Fourth. It does little good if the character defects and conduct I acknowledged and reconciled in my Fourth crop up again but are not quickly acknowledged and corrected. To do so could diminish the quality of my sobriety at best and, at worst, build up to explode in a slip or relapse. Going through the brute honesty of a Fourth does not guarantee that the wrongs I found will not creep up again and, today, if they do, give me the wisdom of honesty and humility to admit them and come to terms. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ADMISSION

There are defeats more triumphant than victories.

~ Montaigne ~

When we were using, did we ever admit anything without leaving ourselves a way out? Did we once unconditionally surrender and admit we were absolutely licked? How many times did we reach the end of the road and pretend it really wasn't? Why did it seem that enough was never enough for us? If there was any more misery or agony to be squeezed out of our lives, we seemed compelled to do so. What was it that held us back from a firm and final admission of our powerlessness over our addiction?

It was when we were flat on our backs with the heel of life pressed down on our throats that we heard ourselves moan to God, "this is, indeed, the bottom." It was then and only then that we made our First Step admission, a no-holds-barred surrender that the time had finally come to give it all up.

Admitting I was powerless seemed like the worst possible defeat. But I have come to realize it was the beginning of the greatest victory.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Our faith should quell our fears, never our courage.

~ William Sloane Coffin ~

Courage is a core value for a man, but without fear, there is no need for courage. Our path to this point in our lives was governed by fear more than most of us ever realized or wanted to admit. We were driven into the arms of addiction and codependency by fear and anxiety. Our substance of choice gave us a feeling of control, and we developed a knee-jerk habit of grasping for it. Even before our fears for our well-being could rise to consciousness, we were scanning the world for ways to gain that sense of control. For some of us that meant anxiously controlling the people around us; for others it meant running off to the casino or escaping into pornography.

The centerpiece of our recovery is a completely different way to soothe our uneasiness. It is a belief that if we turn to a Higher Power, we can quell our fears and find serenity without the destructiveness of our old habits. We learned the old ways over time and this new way takes time to learn as well. We can start immediately to turn our life over to a Higher Power and as we do, we will find greater comfort in return.

Today I will admit my fears and anxieties, finding courage by turning to faith in a Higher Power.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Don’t waste your time hating a failure.

~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes ~

We are members of the human community. We make mistakes as we trek through this forest. We must remember that our mistakes offer us opportunities for new understanding. If we lived without error, our lives would be static, unchanging. Our emotions remind us that we are very much alive.

Self-hatred has been common among us. Anger, resentment, remorse, and terror are likewise familiar. Emotions will always play key roles in our lives. They can inspire us to action; they can also impede us. One of the most important lessons of recovery is knowing when to act and when to be still, when to forgive ourselves and when to feel shame, when to let go and when to take charge.

Deciding to move ahead instead of being shamed by a failure is evidence that we are recovering.

I will accept my failures today as part of my humanity and part of my education. I am here to learn.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel better this month

Last month I didn't want to accept addiction on top of my emotional illness. I wanted to quit taking medication and I thought about skip- ping my Step meetings. I even thought about having a drink—just one. It was a period of anger, conflict, and denial.

But I worked through it with the support of my therapist, and now I'm working hard again on my dual recovery. Things are looking up. I got my meds adjusted so I am not as tired all the time and I asked a friend in my home group to be my sponsor and she said yes. I'm feeling better about myself these days. I admit that I have two problems and I am glad that I am dealing with them, little by little.

Today I will start keeping a list of any changes I make as I recover.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Let the events about to come, come!

~ Kabir ~

If we stay open to the will of our Higher Power, everything happens as it should. Sometimes we don’t understand or can’t get the “big picture.” Since we can’t see into the future, we can become angry and resentful with the way events are unfolding. We’re sure we know a better way, or just don’t think our Higher Power really knows what He’s doing. This grandiosity can lead to the loss of both our serenity and acceptance of our powerlessness. We want to change the things we can’t, which leads to frustration and general ill will.

Do we really trust our Higher Power? Can we be patient and learn the meaning of events in our Higher Power’s time, not ours? If so, we can live for today. We will be given only what we can handle in each day. We needn’t project and worry about tomorrow or yesterday. We are beginning to trust our Higher Power in a new way by letting go of the need to have everything explained to us before it is permitted to happen. We know our Higher Power loves us and will guide us through the events that are to come.

Today help me welcome the day and the opportunities to grow and learn what my Higher Power has in store for me.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Police officers and those in the military wear equipment that offers critical protection from bullets and bombs. Deep- sea divers must wear gear that will insulate them from cold temperatures and regulate their internal pressure so they can ward off the crushing pressure of the depth.

Over the years, you may have fashioned your own protective gear. You may have created an outer shell designed to protect you from feeling your emotions, from opening yourself up to new opportunities, and from developing a spiritual connection. You may have kept yourself locked up within this shell, engaging in your habit while you kept the outside world from entering your life.

Your journey in recovery can be likened to entering a new environment. It is a safe place in which you do not need protective armor and where you can change how you approach life. By developing an attitude of acceptance, openness, and a willingness to take risks, you can free your body from the imprisonment of addiction. You can experience life in all of its richness and fullness and, in so doing, flourish.

I will shed my protective armor so I can grow with a positive, open, and welcoming attitude.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Avoid friends and followers who are detrimental to thy peace of mind and spiritual growth.

~ Tibetan Rosary of Precious Gems ~

Who are the friends we love tonight? Are they healthy in mind, body, and spirit? Do we learn from them and grow with them? Are they an important part of our lives?

Through our growth in the program, we may look at our friends of the past and recognize they were not the best influences on us. In fact, they may have been as needy, sick, confused, obsessive, and miserable as we were. Perhaps that's why they were our friends: they were just like us. But now we may have different friends and they may be like us: healthier, happier, more mature, and more capable.

The people we choose as our friends validate us and our growth. If we choose to be around unhealthy people, then we, too, are unhealthy. Yet if we choose to be around people concerned about their growth, who ask for help when necessary, who can receive yet also give, then we are like those people. They are the mirrors through which we see ourselves.

When I look in the mirror, what do I see? How can I improve my image and my personal growth?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Giving tough love

We need to support those who still suffer, but it doesn’t help to pity them. That’s unfair.

To get well, they need to know exactly what they’re up against and what they need to do. They need the whole story about ad-diction and the hope of recovery.

Can I be candid and caring at the same time?

Higher Power, help me to see how I can best help those who still suffer.

Today I will practice being honest and direct by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Friends, though absent, are still present.

~ CICERO ~

Newcomer

Some of the people on my list of amends have moved, and I have no idea how to locate them.

Sponsor

Our new willingness to take responsibility for our choices has begun a process of healing within us. If we've made sincere efforts to locate people on our amends list, but haven't succeeded perfectly, then it's time to let go. Step Nine begins "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible" (emphasis added). There are circumstances over which we have no control.

My own experience, like that of many people in Twelve Step fellowships, is that once we're in recovery, threads from the past begin to weave themselves back into our lives. Surprisingly often, unexpected opportunities to make amends present themselves.

If such opportunities haven't yet arisen, we can be calm and confident that we have done our part simply by recognizing that amends are called for and by having the willingness to make them. Knowing this, we can have a measure of serenity when we think of people who aren't part of our present lives.

Today, I have the willingness for healing in all of my relationships.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Faith is probably the first natural virtue that the human being acquires. A baby’s reaction to its mother is different from earliest infancy. It is an instinctive faith that this one person, above all others, can and will supply all its needs. This faith in mother decreases as the child develops and becomes more self-reliant. He loses faith in the parent as he develops faith in himself. Finally he arrives at a point where he depends upon himself entirely. When Alcoholism develops and he begins to lose faith in himself, he feels completely helpless.

He must then start rebuilding faith, first in the Group or his Sponsor, then in the Program itself, and finally in God. When this is accomplished then faith returns in himself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Stop Fixing Others

Dear Higher Power, when I am overly dependent on others, I try to fix them. I have a real talent in pinpointing what is wrong with other people. But the very thing that enables me to see their defects most often blinds me to the same, sometimes even worse, shortcomings in myself. Help me stop fretting about others and instead focus on correcting my own character defects.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT DOES GOD EXPECT

As children of the Most High we have a divine heritage and therefore a right to expect that God will take care of us in every way. The Bible is full of promises as to what God will do for His children, but perhaps Jesus put it the most plainly when he said,

What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7:9-11).

So you have a divine right to expect all these good things from God. But what does God expect of us? Well, God has a right to expect that we will put Him first in our hearts. Then God expects us to have a lively faith. Faith in itself is a reliance upon the goodness of God.

And lastly, God expects us to go to Him in prayer—as a son who knows that even before he has asked, the loving Father has answered.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Simple Gifts

My advice is: Go outside…enjoy nature and the sunshine...and try to recapture the happiness in yourself and in God. Think of all the beauty that is still left in you and around you and be happy.

~ Anne Frank ~

In the hotel lounge, a talented young pianist introduced a percussionist would join him on the next selection with some impromptu drumming. The guest took out two drum brushes and began beating them on a thick Portland telephone book. Following some fine jazz improvisations, the drummer took an extraordinary solo. Afterward, the duo received a rousing wave of cheers from the small but enthusiastic audience. The drummer reported, "Over the course of my career, I must have bought at least $3O,OOO worth of sophisticated electronic drum equipment, but I must say that nothing I have ever played electronically compares with brushes and a phone book." I had to agree. The fellow had taken an inert object and made it sing.

Increasing the complexity of life does not always deepen its quality. To the contrary, when we make our world complicated, we lose the truth that was obvious when we began.

In a l950s survey, about 60 percent of the population described themselves as happy. When a similar poll was conducted in the mid-199Os, about 60 percent said they were relatively happy. During the 40 years between the two studies, technology advanced immeasurably. But people are not necessarily happier. That is because happiness comes from inside, not out.

I pray to find beauty in the world as You created it. Help me to be satisfied with simple gifts.

My life is enough because I am enough.