[bluidkiti]

September 6

Step by Step

Today, amends to myself among those I damaged in my drinking days. There is wisdom that I cannot be thoroughly honest and humble to others if I do not first make amends to myself, amends in the form of accepting my behavior and its consequences and, most importantly, amends in forgiving myself. In making amends, we seek forgiveness, and we cannot expect forgiveness from others if we do not first forgive ourselves. And how can we forgive ourselves? We start by acknowledging and accepting the pain and damage we inflicted and be willing to accept the consequences instead of dodging or deflecting them. In some cases, we may never be able to atone for our sins, but our highest amend may be to be clean and sober in this day, one day at a time. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

INTEGRITY

Tell me to live by yes and no: yes to everything good, no to everything bad.

~ William James ~

When we were practicing our addictions, we lost track of what was right and wrong, honest or dishonest. Pride was defended. Anger was justified. Lust was accepted. Gluttony was encouraged. Envy was normal. Greed was there to be satisfied. Laziness was a way of life.

In recovery, regaining our integrity is difficult and confusing. Learning to be honest is hard when we've lost track of our souls. Working the Steps puts us in touch with our Higher Power, who is guiding us back to truth.

We finally come to recognize and rediscover the integrity in ourselves by simply knowing that what is right is what we feel good about and what is wrong is what we feel bad about.

I examine every thought and action to make sure it's right or wrong for me. If I don't feel good about it, I connect it as soon as it becomes clear to me that I've made a mistake. Learning to trust my thoughts and feelings again takes time and practice.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time. Some people bear all three—all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.

~ Edward Everett Hale ~

Learning to manage our worries and our darker memories is part of becoming a stronger person. If we don’t exercise some choice over them, we can get swallowed up in a chain reaction: one problem ignites fear and pain about all the others. Understanding the wisdom of powerlessness becomes an excellent guide for us in focusing our mind when troubles assail us.

We accept that many things aren’t within our control to create or to stop. All we can do is hope and pray and turn the results over to our Higher Power. We don’t subject ourselves to a pity session or a major anxiety attack by letting one challenge remind us of everything that has gone wrong in the past or could go wrong tomorrow. We live in the present, we deal with what is before us at the moment, and we pray for the serenity to accept the rest.

Today I will live in the present.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My daughter has changed my life completely. For the first time I have stepped out of myself and given absolute, unconditional love to someone.

~ Robyn Halsema ~

Deciding to step outside of ourselves, whether to love another person or to focus less on ourselves, is healthy. Being obsessed with ourselves, which we alcoholics and other addicts tend to do, exaggerates every element of our lives, making it nearly impossible for us to maintain a balanced, healthy perspective.

Our self-consciousness and self-absorption isolate us. The more our attention centers on us, the less we grow in our understanding of how life is designed to unfold. Our growth suffers when we cut ourselves off from the other women and men who are in our lives to act as our teachers.

We will learn much about who we are and what we are here to do when we join with other people and express our gratitude and love for their presence in our lives.

I can resist the temptation to isolate myself today. Expressing even a small token of love or gratitude to another woman will give me peace and a measure of health.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to practice letting go

Before recovery I worried about losing my job. My symptoms were getting worse and it was getting harder to go to work and be productive. Briefly I tried to keep it together through will-power. Then I tried medicating my symptoms with alcohol and drugs. But in the long run, they didn't help either. I simply developed an addiction on top of my emotional problems.

Now I'm finally accepting help with my dual disorder through a therapist and a Twelve Step program. But at times I still worry about losing my job. Fortunately, these days I can take a spiritual approach to my fears. Less and less do I have to "fix" them. Instead, for instance, I can work Step Three again and practice letting go. If I keep up my medication, stay sober, and turn my worry over to my higher power—if I do what I can do for myself today—perhaps my job will take care of itself.

I will read about Step Three in the Big Book today and be sure to go to an extra meeting this week.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

God has no office hours.
There is never a time when God is unavailable.

~ Emmet Fox ~

What a wonderful comfort to know God is always there to help us. There is no desert too distant or ocean too wide to get lost from God. God seems to like our simple prayers; sometimes just saying “please help me” will bring us a blessed feeling of peace and relief.

Remembering to remember God’s constant presence is the answer. As soon as we recall God’s love, we feel a deep down letting go of our cares. We relax and sigh, "Yes, this is the solution.” But then we seem to forget again and rush about.

Maybe we can find a way to tie a mental string around our finger to remind us that every problem we have has a spiritual solution. The more we practice pausing and letting God’s comfort flow through us, the safer life becomes. God is always there.

Today help me remember that God never goes off duty.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It has been said that a butterfly flapping its tender wings in an Amazon rainforest can cause a tsunami in Indonesia.

~ Author unknown ~

One of the most amazing things about life is how inter-connected and united everything is. One small imbalance or a minor improvement can affect entire ecosystems and the ways in which people live. This is also true for the fellowship within the program of recovery.

Imagine what would happen if one member decided to use the fellowship as a platform to encourage others to drink or use. Consider what might happen if one member presented the group with a different set of Steps to follow.

A fellowship that is not united in a common purpose, that does not follow the guidelines of AA, or that allows even one member to disrupt meetings may put the recovery of others at risk. This can harm the physical health of others, their trust and faith in the fellowship, and their connection to a Higher Power. That is why it is important to remember that you are part of a much larger fellowship. You play an important role in ensuring that your fellowship does not become a personal platform for others.

I will do my part to ensure my connection to AA follows the Traditions and Steps of the program.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life is an experience of ripening. The green fruit has but small resemblance to that which is matured.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

When a lion cub is born, it bears little resemblance to its adult form. As it matures, it still is a far cry from being king of the jungle. It has tiny teeth, small paws, and a clumsy sense of balance. With training and time for growth, it learns to stalk and kill. Finally, it becomes a full-grown, mature lion with thick mane, long teeth, and powerful claws.

Sometimes we are like that cub. We are acquiring skills, learning to grow emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Our footing may be clumsy, our efforts not always successful. But there are others who are experienced and can show us the way.

There is a lion inside of each of us: strong, sure, and proud. We are growing and maturing toward this final form. Every day our footing becomes a little surer, our confidence greater, and our beliefs in our abilities stronger. Life is a process of growing from cub to lion, and each day takes us closer.

Tonight I can feel the growth within me. I have strength, sureness, and pride that are just beginning to bud.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Dealing with now

When we were using, we kept avoiding the present moment (it was too painful) by using mood-altering chemicals. Clean and sober, we see that right now is all we have. If we avoid it, we avoid life.

Whether it’s getting to school or work, taking care of other daily duties, or staying clean and sober, am I doing what I need to be doing right now?

Higher Power, help me be strong enough to do what I need to do right now.

Today I will improve my level of awareness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

They who forgive most, shall be most forgiven.

~ PHILIP JAMES BAILEY ~

Newcomer

Some of the people I owe amends to aren't very kind or forgiving. How is making amends to them going to change anything?

Sponsor

The amends are ours, no one else's. We have no control over their effect on another person. Making amends changes us, whether we're met with silence, anger, or love.

For me, taking Step Nine significantly improved my relationships with myself and with other people, but not because everyone understood or wanted to restore our former association. Rather, my action of asking other people to hear my apology was the beginning of deep healing for me.

One woman with whom I'd had a financial disagreement had been writing angry letters to me from a distance for over two years. When I wrote to her admitting that I'd had an addictive problem and finally gave her the information she needed, she simply said, "That explains a lot." It was enough. I no longer had to cringe when I went to the mailbox: that was freedom. The amends you make will change you, whatever the response of those to whom you make them.

Today, I trust myself enough to speak the simple truth.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The amount of compensation you get for your labors depends on the value of the currency, not the denomination of the bills. A million dollars in Chinese coin would break your back carrying it, but might not buy you a suit of clothes.

The greatest compensation would therefore be that which would buy those things which you need and want.

For services rendered your fellow men, God gives you his I.O.U., and they are better than cash on the line in any currency.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Amelia Earhart's Prayer

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.
The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things;
Knows not the livid loneliness of fear nor mountain heights,
where bitter joy you can hear the sound of wings.

~ by Amelia Earhart ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAN HUMAN NATURE CHANGE?

Shallow thinkers sometimes say doggedly and pessimistically, "Human nature never changes," or, "You can't change human nature." The truth is that there is no need for human nature to change. The nature of man is such that he can bring an unlimited quantity of good into his life. That is his nature, and no better arrangement could be imagined.

Human nature is such that man can turn to God anywhere at any time, and by believing in His care and protection, and thinking in accordance with this belief, fill his heart with peace and poise, rebuild his body into health and strength, and surround himself with harmonious and joyous conditions.

I am come that they might have life, and that they might love it more abundantly (John 10:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Miracles, Nonetheless

Miracles arise from a mind that is ready for them.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

There is a debate among Biblical scholars as to whether God actually parted the Red Sea for Moses and the Israelites, or if it just happened to be low tide when they arrived. Was the occurrence natural or supernatural?

It doesn't really matter—it was a miracle, nonetheless. If you showed up at the Red Sea with Pharaoh and his army in hot pursuit, and you were able to get across by the hand of God, low tide, or the Staten Island Ferry, you would be elated to escape, and you'd thank God for the gift of freedom, no matter how it manifested itself.

While many miracles occur through inexplicable, supernatural means, many come about through seemingly mundane "coincidences." It is not so important how miracles happen, but that they do happen. Meeting the right person at the right time for the right purpose is just as valuable as if God plunked the person in front of you. While the reasoning mind wants to analyze and question, the childlike heart accepts blessings as gifts. When we habitually doubt, we paint ourselves into a corner and miss out on the greatest joys of life.

A Course in Miracles suggests that each day be devoted to miracles. Keep your mind, heart, and eyes open for events that override the expectations of the fearful mind and demonstrate that we are loved. The more we look, the more we will find.

Help me to be miracle-minded. Give me a childlike heart, that I may recognize You in all.

I create miracles because I look for them.