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September 12

Step by Step

Today, I will not feed anger to poison my actions and words for which, inevitably, I will have to answer. If I forget I have only today and reach back into yesterday and resurrect some anger or resentment, justified or not, I will Let Go and Let God because I don't WANT to add any excess baggage and I DON'T want to give power to an emotion that might derail me if I don't control IT. If I get angry today, I will walk away from the source until I can think with reason and logic, without emotion. And if I get the chance to talk to a person who has made me angry, I will confine my words to how I feel instead of, "YOU made me feel ...," "YOU shouldn't have ..." and "YOU had no right ..." In that context, I am risking taking another person's Fourth, and the job as moral gatekeeper has been taken by a power greater and stronger than myself. As a drinking alcoholic, I had no control and let my anger gain the upper hand; today, as a recovering alcoholic, I have the choice to NOT allow anger to dictate my words and thought. Today, I choose to weaken any potentially lethal emotion by NOT feeding it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ANGER

Anger is but one letter away from danger.

~ Anonymous ~

Many of us once nursed long-standing resentments. Every time we thought about them, we got angry. What makes anger so dangerous is that it burns without consuming. It feeds on itself until it overwhelms all other emotions. Anger is poison.

When anger takes over, it acts with uncontrollable rage. We say things, feel things, and do things way out of line. Anger is emotional drunkenness. It leads to resentments, and it is a dangerous setup for a relapse.

Because we are in recovery doesn’t mean we won't get angry, but the Steps give us a process of working through anger. We learn that what usually fuels anger is fear and guilt. When we deal with fear and guilt, we can dissolve anger. The remedy for fear is faith, for faith means courage.

When I replace my anger with faith, the fear and guilt that causes the anger is worked through, and the anger is reduced.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Abuse is something that is done to us. It is not who we are.

~ Euan Bear and Peter Dimock ~

Everyone has some experience with being treated badly. Sometimes that experience leaves us with scars that affect us for years. Abuse is the feeling of being overwhelmed by someone’s power to hurt us or use us. It steals our basic human dignity. Afterward we feel belittled, as if something basic about us is missing or blemished.

Recovery means we restore our feeling of personal dignity. To begin that part of our recovery, we first name the abuse. Someone beat us up, someone called us names, or someone used our body for his or her own pleasures. Abuse may even come from someone we love and trust. After we name the abuse, we tell a trusted friend what happened. In this process we start the work of placing those experiences outside of ourselves instead of holding them deep inside where they confuse us. Ultimately, our recovery frees us.

Today I understand that even though bad things happened to me, I am basically good, just like everyone else.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

If we are to realize a peaceful, spiritual awareness, there are mental practices we must engage in.

~ Margaret R. Stortz ~

To some people, having a meaningful life means being busy all the time. While it’s true that we need activities that get us outside of ourselves, we can easily become too busy. While using alcohol and other drugs, many of us left too many projects unfinished. Perhaps we drifted, making resolutions to change, to work, to accomplish a goal, but never succeeding.

It’s not surprising that we feel we must make up for lost time now. The problem with this approach is that we need to be still, with a quiet mind, to know the peace of a truly meaningful life.

We have to make a habit of becoming quiet. We need to practice freeing our minds of the thoughts that compete for our attention. In silence will come our knowledge of God. Our serenity and security reside in our quiet moments.

I can still my mind and know God’s presence and will for me today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning to forgive

My parents and I have not been friends for years. I couldn’t tell them when I got sick; one of them is a practicing alcoholic. They would not have believed, or accepted, my addiction—let alone my emotional illness. Still I missed them—I needed them—when I hit bottom.

In recovery however, I feel differently about them. I see them now as people who have made mistakes, who have let me down, but who did for me what they could. Somehow I have renewed faith that each in their own way cares about me, and I can tell that I still care about them too. When I phoned recently, it felt good just to hear their voices.

I will write out an affirmation that says, “I can forgive. I can let go."

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Order is a lovely thing;
On disarray it lays its wing,
Teaching simplicity to sing.

~ Anna Hempstead Branch ~

There is a spiritual quality about order. Even scientists who are atheists have come to believe in God when they study the order in nature and the universe. Is there any greater spiritual experience than watching a beautiful sunset, or seeing the infinite number of stars in the sky at night?

Order in our lives helps us relax and think and plan creatively. We tend to be more serene and hopeful when there is order, rather than when there is chaos.

And when we recognize our place in the order of nature and the world, we begin to have a sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves. We know, now, we are children of God, with a special place in the world.

Today I thank you for the order You have created in my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Many people are so concerned with adding days to their life that they forget to add life to their days.

~ Harriet Meyerson ~

How can you live in the moment when life is full of dis-tractions or when your thoughts are constantly tumbling you forward into the future or causing you to slip back-ward into the past? Whether your thoughts move you forward or backward in time, such movement wastes the precious moments in the present you have been given and can influence the way you feel. Even though you may not have awakened feeling sad, thinking about the past may cast a pall over how you feel during the day. Or you may feel anxiety or dread about things that have yet to happen.

Living in the moment is not easy to do. Living in the moment means taking charge of your thoughts so you control them, rather than let them dictate what you think about and how you feel.

There are many techniques you can use to live more in the moment—from reminding yourself of what you are doing at any given time to meditating or enjoying a hobby. Practice living more fully in the moment, and you will be more capable of immersing yourself in and appreciating the day.

Today I will not let thoughts of the past or future intrude upon my ability to live in the moment.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Love does not consist of gazing at each other but in looking together, in the same direction.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~

When we're addicted to a person all we can see is that person. Time moves slowly when we're apart, but passes quickly when we're together. We may feel panicky during even the most minor of separations and believe that we are fused into one being.

Loving relationships are not made by taking prisoners. Love is neither hypnotism nor possessiveness. Love is simply a sharing between two people. Many times this sharing involves movement in the same direction toward a mutual goal. Even though we're sharing the same path, we're not sharing the same body and mind.

A successful relationship is one in which we feel it would be okay even if we weren't with the other person. To be able to stand alone as firmly as when we're with another means we've found some sense of self-esteem and self-respect. We can love another and, at the same time, love ourselves.

Is my loving relationship healthy? Tonight I can work on my self-esteem and self-respect and trust I am a good person with or without a partner.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding intellectual pride

Intellectual pride can be a great downfall for those of us with addiction. We shouldn’t con ourselves into thinking that program guidelines don’t apply to “smart” people. Besides, if we’re so smart, how did we end up here in the first place?

Whether we finish high school or college, whether our collar is blue or white, all aspects of this program apply to us. Until we realize that the solution to our problem is our common bond—not our training, job, or lifestyle—we will make little progress. Our problem is no respecter of persons, but our solution is valid for all.

Can I keep my “smarts” from getting in my way?

Higher Power, help me realize that intellectual pride can prevent me from working my program.

Today I will practice humility by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS (THE AA BIG BOOK) ~

Newcomer

Nothing much seems to have changed for me lately. I still have the same problems and issues I had months ago.

Sponsor

The Serenity Prayer asks me "to accept the things I cannot change." I used to think that meant things were never going to change—and that I'd better accept it! Now I realize not only that everything is capable of being changed, but that change is a fact of reality and I can't stop it. What the phrase "to accept the things I cannot change" means to me today is that there are many things that only my Higher Power can change. That doesn't mean things won't change, only that I can't force them to. I have the courage to do my part; I have faith that change takes place in my Higher Power's time.

I can't be sure I'm going to be offered a particular job; but I can shower, dress appropriately, show up for the interview on time, and represent my capabilities with honesty and dignity. If I'm persistent in these efforts, the right job will come in time. Or perhaps I'd like my weight to change. I can't control the numbers on my scale, but if I exercise and eat moderately, over time a moderate body will show up.

Our Higher Power's timetable often differs from our own; accepting that is a source of serenity.

Today, I let my Higher Power work in my life. I have the courage to have faith.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

If the price we Paid when we took a drink was the only price we had to pay, it would not be too expensive. It was the terrible price we had to pay after the drinks that really put the screws on us. For $3.50 most any bartender will contract to deliver you ten drinks of whiskey but the busted-up car that results can run the costs up to a first class funeral.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My Chosen Life

Dear God, help me live the life I have chosen and allow others to do the same. It's hard to live more than one life at a time. Keep me free from trying to organize everyone's life according to my plan. Help me turn over my self-assumed responsibility for other people’s lives to You. Live and let live is the Twelve Step way of life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

KEY WORDS IN THE BIBLE

JUDGEMENT

Judgment, in the Bible, means deciding upon the truth or falsity of any thought. This process necessarily goes on in our minds all the time we are awake, and the extent to which we "judge righteous judgments" determines the character of our lives. To accept evil at its face value is to judge wrongly, and bring its natural punishment. To decline to believe in evil and to affirm the good is righteous judgment and brings the reward of happiness and harmony.

Thus The Judgment is not a great trial to take place at the end of time; it is a process that goes on every day. When Jesus said, judge not, that ye be not judged (Matthew 7:1), he meant that to condemn our brother out of hand instead of seeing the Christ within him, is to put ourselves in danger because we are making a reality of those appearances in him, and whatever we make real we must demonstrate in our own lives.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Diet That Always Works

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.

~ Henry Miller ~

I heard about a woman who is performing miracles with anorexic and bulimic patients. She takes emaciated 50-pound women out of the hospital and brings them to her home, where she holds them, cradles them, looks into their tired eyes, and tells them, "l love you...I want you to live...I believe in you. " She has had a remarkable success rate, far beyond any medical or psychotherapeutic modality. She has cut past all intellectual models and belief systems, and has gone to the core of our existence: the giving and receiving of love.

A Course in Miracles tells us that every act we do is either an expression of love or a call for it. Love is the only diet, therapy, or activity that always works. When we cut past all our facades, many of our actions stem from our need to know we are lovable. To love ourselves and each other as we are, is to become utterly Godlike.

The next time people become upset with you, give them love. And the next time you lose your peace, give yourself love. We are here to love; nothing else will satisfy us.

I pray to love as You love. Show me how to live from my heart.

I live to love. and I love to live.