[bluidkiti]

September 4

Daily Reflections

RECONSTRUCTION
Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. . . . .
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83

The reconstruction of my life is the prime goal in my recovery as I
avoid taking that first drink, one day at a time. The task is most
successfully accomplished by working the Steps of our Fellowship. The
spiritual life is not a theory; it works, but I have to live it. Step Two started
me on my journey to develop a spiritual life; Step Nine allows me to move
into the final phase of the initial Steps which taught me how to live a
spiritual life. Without the guidance and strength of a Higher Power, it
would be impossible to proceed through the various stages of
reconstruction. I realize that God works for me and through me. Proof
comes to me when I realize that God did for me what I could not do
for myself, by removing that gnawing compulsion to drink. I must
continue daily to seek God's guidance. He grants me a daily reprieve
and will provide the power I need for reconstruction.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

"We must be careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking
as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is no help to
anyone. We are not fanatics or intolerant of people who can drink
normally. Every prospect is relieved when he finds we are not witch
burners. Temperate drinking is O.K., but we alcoholics can't get away
with it. And no alcoholic likes to be told about alcohol by anyone who
hates it. We shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or
hostility." Do I have a tolerance for those who can drink normally?

Meditation For The Day

Do not become encumbered by petty annoyances. Never respond
to emotional upsets by emotional upset. Try to keep calm in
all circumstances. Try not to fight back. Call on the grace of
God when you feel like retaliating. Look to God for the inner
strength to drop these resentments that drag you down. If you are
burdened by annoyances, you will lose your inward peace and the spirit
of God will be shut out. Try to keep peaceful within.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may do the things that make for peace. I pray that I may
have a mission of conciliation.

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As Bill Sees It

Instinct To Live, p.246

When men and women pour so much alcohol into themselves that
they destroy their lives, they commit a most unnatural act. Defying
their instinctive desire for self-preservation, they seem bent
upon self-destruction. They work against their own deepest
instinct.

As they are progressively humbled by the terrific beating
administered by alcohol, the grace of God can enter them and expel
their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to live can cooperate
fully with their Creator's desire to give them new life.

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"The central characteristic of the spiritual experience is that it
gives the recipient a new and better motivation out of all proportion
to any process of discipline, belief, or faith.

"These experiences cannot make us whole at once; they are a
rebirth to a fresh and certain opportunity."

1. 12 & 12, p.64
2. Letter, 1965

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Walk In Dry Places

What do We Deserve?
Good Expectations
We hear about people who snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of us do that even in
sobriety, experiencing failure just as success seems imminent.
At times, we may just be suffering from a bad situation that is all around us. But if we do seem to be having one bad break after another, we should look
more carefully within ourselves for causes. We may be punishing
ourselves, or pushing away our good simply because we do not feel worth
of it.
If we discover that this process is working in our lives, we must begin
changing these false patterns immediately. Having forgiven ourselves and
others, and having made amends, we need no punishment. We will work to
succeed in all of our activities, with a reasonable expectation of
success most of the time. We will expect and deserve the
best.
I'll carry with me today a belief that I deserve to succeed and will
take all necessary action to earn my success.

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Keep It Simple

In my view, we of this world are pupils in great school of life.
Bill W.
Our addiction has taught me much. It has taught us how far we can get from ourselves, our Higher Power, and those who love us.. Hopefully, we've learned we can't go it alone. Do I allow myself to learn from the bad things that happened?
Recovery has much to teach us too. We need to be students of life. We need to be open to learning. Our spirits can grow if we’re willing to do three things: First, we listen. Second, we think about what we've learned. Third, we turn what we've learned into action. Listening, combined with thought and action, will help us learn life’s best lessons.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You'll test me so I can learn. Help me accept the tasks You give me. And help me learn from them.
Action for the Day: I will view today as a class. I will do three things---listen, think, act.

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Each Day a New Beginning

For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming. --Mary Casey
We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.
Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.
Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.
I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

The Doctor's Opinion

A well-known doctor, chief physician at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and drug addiction, gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter:

To Whom It May Concern:
I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.
In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless.
In the course of his third treatment he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered.
I personally know scores of cases who were of the type with whom other methods had failed completely.
These facts appear to be of extreme medical importance; because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group they may mark a new epoch in the annals of alcoholism. These men may well have a remedy for thousands of such situations.
You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.
Very truly yours,
William D. Silkworth, M.D.

pp. xxv-xxvi

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Doctor Bob's Nightmare

A co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. The birth of our Society dates from his first day of permanent sobriety, June 10, 1935.
To 1950, the year of his death, he carried the A.A. message to more than 5,000 alcoholics men and women, and to all these he gave his medical services without thought of charge.
In this prodigy of service, he was well assisted by Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, Ohio, one of the greatest friends our Fellowship will ever know.

After high school came four years in one of the best colleges in the country where drinking seemed to be a major extra-curricular activity. Almost everyone seemed to do it. I did it more and more, and had lots of fun without much grief, either physical or financial. I seemed to be able to snap back the next morning better than most of my fellow drinkers, who were cursed (or perhaps blessed) with a great deal of morning-after nausea. Never once in my life have I had a headache, which fact leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic almost from the start. My whole life seemed to be centered around doing what I wanted to do, without regard for the rights, wishes, or privileges of anyone else; a state of mind which became more and more predominant as the years passed. I was graduated with "summa *** laude" in the eyes of the drinking fraternity, but not in the eyes of the Dean.

p. 172

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

Our next problem will be to discover the person in whom we are to confide. Here we ought to take much care, remembering that prudence is a virtue which carries a high rating. Perhaps we shall need to share with this person facts about ourselves which no others ought to know. We shall want to speak with someone who is experienced, who not only has stayed dry but has been able to surmount other serious difficulties. Difficulties, perhaps, like our own. This person may turn out to be one's sponsor, but not necessarily so. If you have developed a high confidence in him, and his temperament and problems are close to your own, then such a choice will be good. Besides, your sponsor already has the advantage of knowing something about your case.

pp. 60-61

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Today is the blocks with which we build.
--Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is
to enjoy it.
--Samuel Butler

Today I am letting go of all judgments. I am releasing all negative
emotions. I am quietly going within and trusting my inner spirit
and I will know what is right for me.
--Ruth Fishel

" Let us continue to search our own minds for the hidden places where
we still deny love. Perhaps we learned loveless attitudes from our
parents, or from experiences in the past. Wherever we picked up
judgmental attitudes, they do not serve us now. They do not serve
God or the creation of a new world, and serving God is our only goal.
To serve God is to think with love. In prayerful request, let us give up
all thoughts that are not of love. "
--Marianne Williamson

Someone once wrote: "Happiness is always a by-product. You don't
make yourself happy by chasing happiness. You make yourself happy
by being a good person." The happiest people I know are people who
don't even think about being happy. They just think about being good
neighbors, good people. And then happiness sort of sneaks in the back
window while they're busy doing good.
--Rabbi Harold Kushner

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

HUMILITY

"Humility is to make a right
estimate of one's self."
-- Charles Haddon Spurgeon

To see yourself as a good person is part of the program of humility.
To see your gifts and recognize your achievements is what it is to be
a humble person. "God does not make junk." Therefore, we
should not act or behave towards ourselves in a way that would
indicate anything other than that we are "special".

All addicts and alcoholics need to accept this because for years we
had felt guilty, lonely and ashamed. These attitudes helped to keep us
sick.

Sobriety and serenity is recognizing our God-given uniqueness that
makes us "special". We can achieve great things as long as we
continue to believe in ourselves.

Thank You for loving me enough to become a part of me.

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And be not fashioned according to this world: but be ye
transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what
is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Psalm 119:105

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Daily Inspiration

Believe in miracles because they do happen. Lord, I give You praise for the wonders that You are doing in my life.

Give yourself more exercise than jumping to conclusions. Lord, grant me sincerity and wisdom in my daily life.

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NA Just For Today

Cluttered Spirits

"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves."
Basic Text p.40

As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.

A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.

We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.

Just for today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.
pg. 258

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. --Abraham Lincoln
Our negative thoughts can be like pebbles rolling down the mountainside. One pebble bumps into another one. The second begins rolling and slams into a third. On and on it goes until thousands of pebbles, rocks, and even giant boulders are hurtling down the mountain.
When we find ourselves stuck in a rut thinking a negative thought, we can decide to stop and replace it with a positive thought. At first our single positive thought may not dislodge another one. We may have to think of several and start them rolling down the mountainside. If we practice, we will find it becomes easier for that first good thought to shake loose others. We will see our lives change when we begin to look at the positive side of things.
How can I begin to shape my outlook today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is as important to cultivate your silence power, as it is your word power. --William James
We bless ourselves with renewal and healing when we retreat from the world for a few private moments of silence. The power we cultivate in silence isn't generated by us; that power comes to us. We can do this by deliberately withdrawing from all distractions. Then we quiet our inner selves by concentrating on deep relaxation, thinking about a brief reading, or by praying.
Most of us already have a personal island of renewal that we have turned to many times in the past for serenity and strength. We can use it and turn to it daily. This natural pattern is necessary for a strong and healthy life. It builds our relationship with our Higher Power and ourselves. In our problems with self-esteem, we often label as worthless the quiet, subtle things we do, but these very things are essential to build our strength and self esteem.
I will take time for silence to receive the power it gives in my life.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
For all the sadness of closure, there is a new and joyful unfolding in the process of becoming. --Mary Casey
We must let go of people, places, memories, and move on to new experiences. The doors of the past must be closed before we can enter those that are opening to us today. However, no experience is gone forever. All of our experiences are threaded together, each one contributing to the events that claim our attention now.
Recovery has offered us a chance to be aware of our process of becoming. With each day, each experience, each new understanding, we are advancing along the path of personal growth. Let us remember that each of us has a particular path, like no other. Thus, our experiences are ours alone. We need not envy what comes to someone else.
Life is unfolding for us. The pain of the present may be necessary for the pleasure of tomorrow. We can accept the unfolding. Our inner selves have a goal; experiences of the past must be left in the past; experiences at hand will lead us to our destination today.
I am moving and changing and growing, at the right pace. The process can be trusted. What is right for me will come to me. I will let the joy of becoming warm me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Finding Direction
I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life. --Anonymous
We each have a life to live, one that has purpose and meaning. We can help our Higher Power give direction and purpose to our life by setting goals.
We can set goals annually, monthly, or daily in times of crisis. Goals create direction and pace; goals help us achieve a manageable life that is directed in the course we choose for ourselves.
We can help give our lives direction by setting goals.
Today, I will pay attention to setting a course of action for my life, rather than letting others control my life and affairs.


I have all the strength that I need today to accept the realities of my life. I am on a path of learning and growth and healing. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Stay Connected to Yourself

The woman was describing her reaction to an area she had visited, a place poisoned by toxic chemicals, a piece of earth maimed and harmed by humankind. “It’s not that I didn’t feel connected there,” she said thoughtfully. “I felt connected, but feeling connected meant feeling connected to pain.”

The woman was describing more than a piece of land. She was describing a place many of us visit at times on our journey. We feel connected, but we’re connected to pain and sadness. We may be reacting to an incident from our past or to something taking place right now.

We don’t have to run anymore. We don’t have to hide. We don’t have to leave our bodies, or wonder what’s wrong. We simply need to feel what’s there, even if it hurts for a bit. Sometimes we’re healing from our toxic beliefs, feelings, and attitudes we’ve accumulated. Sometimes there’s a message, a lesson to learn, an action to take. That will follow naturally if we’re connected.

Open up to your connection. The price of being connected may mean that we occasionally feel pain, but the reward for staying connected will be consciousness, guided action, and an open heart.

*****

more language of letting go
Look at your attachments

A friend called me one day. His shiny new car was in the garage for repairs again. "I should have gotten a truck, something practical, that would start ever day and get me to work," he said. "If ever, ever I start screaming that I have to have something and can't live without it, start screaming back to me until I stop."

What's attached to your self-esteem?

Some people attach their cars to their worth. Other people can feel good about themselves only if they're involved in a romantic relationship. Some people need a home in a certain neighborhood. Some people tie their self-esteem to future events. If I could only achieve this, then I'd be complete.

Take a moment. Look at your life. Is your self-worth attached to certain conditions?

We say we want others to love us unconditionally, but the problem is, that's not often the way we love ourselves. We say we need money in the bank, a Mercedes, or a Gucci bag first.

Is there a certain level of success you've been striving to attain? Are you telling yourself you have to have it to be complete? Maybe it's someone's approval that you're holding out for.

There's an easy way to see what we've become overly attached to. We can ask ourselves this: What is the thing in my life that I can't let go of and release? What makes me craziest?

Don't be hard on yourself. We all want and need daily necessities, such as cars, jobs, and money. And having someone to love is a delightful part of being human.

But that's a different issue than telling ourselves we can't be happy without these persons or things. Help yourself to a healthy dose of completeness and letting go. Tell yourself that you're complete and can be happy, just as you are. Let go of your attachment to whatever you're clinging to. It may or may not come back to you. But if it does, you can more happily enjoy it knowing you don't need it to be complete.


God, help me let go of my unhealthy attachments.

Activity: What are you holding on to, telling yourself you can't live without it? Is there a person who you fear will go away? Is there a job or a particular level of success you've attached yourself to? Is there a level of finances that you're waiting to have before you let yourself feel complete? Do an inventory of your life. Discern what you've convinced yourself you need to be complete. Now, transfer these people or things to a list in your journal. Make the title of that list "people and things I need to release and detach from my self-esteem." You can still have these people or things in your life, but your goal here is to get clear on your motives for wanting them in your life.

*****

Working from Center
In the Thick of It

When we are "in the thick of it," overwhelmed by too many things that need our attention, it’s important to remember that we are never given more than we can handle. When life’s challenges make us question this, our best coping mechanism is to follow the reliable and well-known course to our calm center and anchor ourselves there. It is for these times that we have been practicing regularly, so that our mind, body, and spirit will know how to find the peace within. Even in the midst of seeming chaos, a deep breath can help us turn within to find the space to work from, the calm at the center of the storm.

Tapping into our inner resources we begin again, bringing our focus to the needs of the present moment. Asking "why?" shifts our energy away from the task at hand. We can seek answers to those questions once we get to the other side of the present challenge. For now, we accept what is. Once we have collected scattered energy and created space, inspiration will strike, help will arrive, and what seemed impossible will either become possible or we will find it has become unnecessary. The flow of the universe and its perfect order has room to move in our lives when we get ourselves and our extraneous thoughts out of the way.

After the thick has become thin again, we have the opportunity to learn from the situation with a better idea of our true capabilities. We can now ask ourselves the "why" questions with the goal of fine-tuning our lives. Perhaps we have taken on more than is ours to do or made commitments out of obligation rather than insight. It could just be the ebb and flow and life, or we may be receiving life lessons on a fast track in preparation for something wonderful to come. But when we have a chance to make new choices, we know the best ones are made when we work from center. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day At A Time

Reflection for the Day
Thought I have prayed at various times in my life, I realized after several months in the Program that I'd never really prayed properly. I'd always tried to make deals with God, much like a foxhole atheist; I'd always pleaded, "Grant me my wishes," instead of "Thy will--not mine--be done." The result was that I remained self-deceived and was thus incapable of receiving enough grace to restore me to sanity. Do I see that in the past, when I prayed to God, I usually asked that two and two not make four?

Today I Pray
May I look back and review how I have prayed before, for specific solutions that I from my earthly vantage felt were best, May I question, in the longer view of time, whether those solutions would have been right, had God chosen to do things my way. In retrospect, may I see that my pleas were not always so wise. May I be content to trust God.

Today I Will Remember
God may not do it my way.

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Food for Thought.

Too Thin?

After losing weight, we may find ourselves being told that we are getting too thin. Often, the people who tell us this are not particularly thin themselves. Their comments are ostensibly made out of concern for our health, but it is more likely that they arise out of envy. Another reason could be their own personal fear of losing weight. Then, too, a thin person will sometimes feel threatened when we, who were formerly fat, come down to normal weight.

Whatever the reason, it is not the responsibility of anyone else to tell us how much we should or should not weigh. We alone are responsible for our own body.

When we turn our will and our life over to the care of our Higher Power, our body is included. The God who creates us will show us how He intends our body to look. We do not need to be concerned or swayed by the remarks of those who may not have our best interests at heart.
I trust You to take care of my body.

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One Day At A Time

ACTION
“Men at some time are the masters of their fates.”
William Shakespeare

When I first approached Step Four I did so with fear. To make “a searching and fearless moral inventory” of myself seemed like an impossible task. I had so many resentments and fears I did not know where to start. I felt very overwhelmed. When I shared this with my sponsor, she sat down with me and I took a pen and paper and we started. Just seeing something down on paper gave me the courage to go on. I took the inventory person-by-person for my resentments and sex conduct, and fear-by-fear for my fear inventory. At first it was hard to see my part. I wanted to be a victim. But with the help of my sponsor I began to see my part. I began to take action.

No longer was I the victim, but I became the master of my fate for the purposes of my recovery. I chose to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. No, it wasn’t easy, but step-by-step, I completed it. It wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Step Four requires much action, and I must choose to take it.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will choose to take action in my recovery and be fearless and thorough no matter where I am on my journey.
~ Carolyn

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did - then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen - Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand! - Pg. 151 - A Vision For You

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We mustn't make a decision about staying sober with insufficient data. To collect data on what staying sober is like, we have to stay that way 12 months or more. Therefore, we should not make a final decision about this new life until we have a year of clean time.

May I know that experience and contact with sober people is the only way to collect data on sobriety.

Changing My Mood

I will consciously lift my own mood today. I have much more choice about what I feel that I realize. If I'm feeling stressed out, I will even out my breath and relax. If I'm obsessing about something, I will ask myself how important this thing will be in five years, I will remind myself that stressing only makes things worse. It clouds my judgment and makes everything bigger than it needs to be. If I set my mind toward being in a good mood, I will find a way to get there. My day will feel more pleasant. The events of my day will run more smoothly. I will be more available to myself and the people I encounter. I will change my thoughts today. If I see my thoughts veering toward the negative, I will consciously elevate them. I will gently steer myself in a more positive direction. What am I but the thoughts I think all day? The thoughts that go through my mind influence and define how I experience my life. I don't need to let myself be tossed all over the place by the events of my day. I can act on my day as well as letting my day act on me.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Road rage and recovery rage are closely associated. People, places, and things get in our way and we freak. When the rage begins, quickly ask yourself, 'What would my guardian angel do now?'

My DUI's are no longer under the influence of alcohol. Today, I Drive Under the Influence of Angels.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If there is someone weaker than you, be kind to them. If there is someone stronger than you, be kind to yourself.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I have all the strength that I need today to accept the realities of my life.

I am guided on a path of learning and growth and healing.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

If it smells like a duck, looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck... Chances are it's a duck. Unknown origin.