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January 12

Step by Step

Today, in the throes of all the demands at work and in my personal life, I strengthen my resolve to my recovery by remembering how I got here – and why. I must ask myself honestly if I have experienced the fundamental change in emotion and psyche that is required in recovery. I must not permit any of those destructive influences of my yesterdays to sabotage today and, probably, tomorrow. I must acknowledge any subconscious seed that might be planting a slip or relapse. And if that seed exists, I know I’m in trouble with the first three step. Those steps – of total admission, surrender and submission of all I cannot control – are the building blocks of my recovery. I must be on guard if I feel a crack in any of them. Today, I am an alcoholic, and I cannot – and do not want to – drink. Sweet and simple. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

OPTIMISM

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true.

~ James Branch Cabell ~

Optimists say that there are far more successes than failures in recovery. Pessimists say the opposite. The Program says that anyone in recovery is a success. The Program never fails, but individuals do because they give up too easily and too quickly.

When we decide to work closely with others, we have already declared that we will be optimistic about succeeding. During our excessive years, we suffered all the pessimism we ever again want to suffer. When we gather at a meeting, we are former pessimists who join in being optimists about winning. The irony is that this makes us winners.

Two people were served hamburgers for lunch. The pessimist muttered, “What a small dab of meat,” while the optimist exclaimed, “What a big bun they serve here.”

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Any one thing is “hitched to everything in the universe.”

~ John Muir ~

Some days our lives seem to be in chaos. We may feel flooded with too much: too much work, too much pain, too much to learn, or too many problems to handle. On days like this, we can begin to see past the chaos and feel hopeful about dealing with the future because we can turn to our Higher Power.

All things are part of a larger whole in the universe, and all things are connected. We are never completely alone. There is comfort and security in knowing that we can rely on our Higher Power. We only have to do a small part today. The universe will continue to work its way toward a natural solution to today’s problems.

Today I will concentrate on simply doing one small part of what needs to be done.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Make lists; take action.

~ Connie Hilliard ~

Our responsibilities can seem overwhelming if we let them pile up in our minds. Worrying about what needs to be done rather than doing it feeds our fear of inadequacy. We came into recovery certain that we didn’t measure up, but if we use the program we can conquer those fears.

Focusing on “first things first” gets us moving in the proper direction. That slogan, coupled with “keep it simple,” can change how we respond to every challenge. We feel overwhelmed because we look at the whole, rather than at the individual tasks that need specific, manageable bits of attention.

This program and these Twelve Steps were created to help us stay clean and sober. But they can do so much more. They are a blueprint for handling every minute of the day, every person we encounter, every task that deserves our attention. Nothing piles up if we follow the guidance of the program’s architects.

I will not be overwhelmed if I keep it simple today. Doing one thing at a time is all that’s expected.
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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need to think twice about using

I can’t stop thinking and I can’t sit still. I’m tired of TV and radio. The next appointment with my counselor is two days away. Right now I don’t much care what he said about mixing alcohol with meds. I can’t stand the way I’m feeling. I have to relax. I want a drink.

But if I have one drink, I’ll probably have another. If I have two, I’ll have a dozen. I might wake up in detox again. I might have a setback. Maybe a drink isn’t the best thing for me after all.

When I have strong cravings, I will stop whatever I’m doing for two minutes and think about my options.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The butterfly becomes, only when it’s entirely ready.

~ Chinese proverb ~

Entirely ready? Do we ever feel entirely ready to do anything? This takes some spiritual support. Once, we put things off as much as we could, as often as we could, whenever we could. Action was not a very familiar concept in our lives. Promises — those came more naturally. In a promise there was no demand involved. In time, broken promises became a trademark of our lives.

But not today. Today, we can make a commitment and keep it. Each day we act more responsibly, more consistently, and get more things done.

As we move through stages of becoming entirely ready, we need to stay more constantly in touch with our Higher Power. Because we are so easily threatened by the changes that happen in recovery, we need help to feel secure. We want the gifts we’ve been offered and can only have them if we keep working, and keep growing in trust.

As we continue on the road of recovery, we feel more and more ready. As we come to accept that our program is based on progress, not perfection, we gradually find ourselves transformed, spiritually. We are becoming entirely ready.

Today grant me the courage and the patience to accept the sometimes slow process of change.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act.

~ Abraham Maslow ~

Worry prevents you from living in the present and causes you to fret about what has already happened or what might happen. Too much worrying can exaggerate situations and drain you of the energy you need in the present.

To cure worry, learn to distinguish between facts and fantasies. For example, you may be worried your sponsor will end your interactions because of a disagreement you had. Ask yourself, “Is that a fact?” The answer will help you figure out whether your worry is based on fact or fiction. Then consider actions you can take. Ask, “What can I do about this right now?” Rather than worry your sponsor will walk away from you, talk to your sponsor so you can resolve any differences. Develop similar plans of action for other worries so you can stop looking backward or peering fearfully ahead.

It has been said, “Yesterday’s a cancelled check, tomorrow’s a promissory note, but today is cash. Spend it wisely,” Seek out those things that you can change and let go of your worries about that which you cannot control.

I have the power to make my worries gigantic or to shrink them. Today I will take action to live fully in the present moment.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The first thing I had to conquer was fear. I realized what a debilitating thing fear is. It can render you absolutely helpless. I know now that fear breeds fear.

~ Byron Janis ~

The future can be scary, especially if we try to predict what will happen. Sometimes we may even go further, not only predicting what may happen but also anticipating our reactions to those events. If only we knew what will happen, then we wouldn’t have to be afraid of the future.

If we’re not careful, we will allow every fearful feeling to overtake us until the fear extends into other parts of our lives. Fear can be like a hidden trap, catching us whenever we try to go anywhere or do anything. We cannot see, hear, or touch fear, but we can give it so much power that it almost has a life of its own.

We can get rid of the traps fear has set for us. We can do that by having faith in our Higher Power. We can have faith that our way has been prepared for us, faith that we are safe wherever we are.

I can cut the ties with which fear binds me. Without fear, I will only feel the safety of faith.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our attitudes

Our prayer is, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” We say this prayer at least once a day because although we must accept the things we cannot change today, they may, in fact, change tomorrow.

This seems to be a paradox, yet once we truly and completely accept something, it begins to change. While the objective fact remains unchanged, our attitude toward it and our relationship to it has changed. It is with our attitudes toward people and things that we must learn to live.

Am I changing my attitudes?

Higher Power, help me live fully today, neither forward nor backward, but here and now.

The attitude I will work on today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Let the counsel of thine own heart stand.

~ APOCRYPHA ~

Newcomer

I’ve told one or two old friends that I’ve started going to meetings of a Twelve Step program. One of them is very dubious about it. When I talked about being addicted, she said she’d never thought of me as having a serious problem. Maybe she’s right—she’s known me for a long time.

Sponsor

It’s ultimately our own deep discomfort that tells us we have a problem. Our friends, our families, and even our doctors may have told us that they want us to get help—or they may have said that they don’t believe we have a serious problem. Do they know the whole truth about us? We may have hidden our addiction from them. They may not be adequately informed about what addiction is. Or they themselves may be in denial, in order not to have to look at their own relationship to addiction.

Friends who aren’t facing a life-and-death disease may not understand that what I’m doing here is saving my life. They may think that I’m exaggerating my problem or that I’m simply caught up in a trend. Such opinions appeal to me at times, when I’d rather not have to face what I know to be true in the depths of my being.

We can’t let others “vote” on our decision to enter recovery—it’s up to us to know our own truth and respect it.

Today, I own my need for recovery.

I don’t argue about it, with myself or with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We brought nothing into this world and shall take nothing out. We are in the process of living a lifetime, one day at a time. It is therefore reasonable that we should gather as much of the richness of living from each day as we possibly can.

Does it make you feel good all over when you spend a buck or two on some poor devil? Then don’t deny yourself this dividend of living.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If you really want to stay sober, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

2) FEAR: Fornicate With Everything And Run.

3) You are right where you are supposed to be.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Beatitudes

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteous- ness’s sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GOD IS LIFE

The first main aspect of God is Life. God is not just living, nor does God give life, but God is Life. Where God is, there Life is.

When you are sick you are only partly alive. When you are tired or depressed or discouraged, you are only partly alive. Few people express God in an adequate way because they lack the sense of life.

Joy is one of the highest expressions of God as Life. Actually it is a mixture of Life and Love, and the Bible says, “the sons of God shout of joy”. When we realize our divine sonship, we must experience joy. Joy always has an expansive effect, just as fear has a contracting effect. When a person says, “I can’t”, there is a retraction. You could not imagine a person saying, “Yes, I can”, with a shrinking gesture, or “No, I can’t”, in an optimistic or forthright way. The body always expresses the thought: and the thought of Life heals and inspires, whereas thoughts of fear and death contract and destroy.

Realizing divine Life heals the sick. Animals usually respond quickly, and the plants very quickly indeed, because they do not have that strong sense of personal egotism that most human beings do. They never make up their minds that they cannot get well or that “sickness is sent for a good purpose”. Neither do they give away to discouragement because they have not been healed faster.

For God giveth to a man that is good in his sight Wisdom, and Knowledge, and Joy ….. (Ecclesiastes 2:26).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Unbeatable

Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another.

~ Madonna ~

One of my favorite movie characters is played by Gene Wilder in Stir Crazy. Harry is a man who is perpetually happy, and nothing that anyone says or does can remove his joy. Thrown in prison for a crime he did not commit, Harry is the object of the prison officials’ campaign to break him into the mold. After the guards hang Harry by his wrists for several days, they return to find him with a big smile on his face. “Thank you!” he exclaims. “You’ve finally solved my back problem!”

Next, the officials toss Harry into the hot box, a tiny tin enclosure in the sweltering sun. When they extract him, he begs, “Oh, please, could you give me just one more day was just starting to get into myself.” Finally, they throw Harry into a cell with Grossburger, a 300-pound crazed murderer who even the most hardened criminals avoid like the plague. When the guards return, they find Harry and Grossburger on the floor laughing over a game of cards. Harry just chose joy, and let all else revolve around his choice.

No one can take away your happiness unless you give it to them. People may say all manner of things about you or try to hurt you, but unless you choose to be hurt, they cannot rob you of your good. They are making choices that determine their happiness, just as you are choosing yours. When we feel hurt by another, we are only hurting ourselves. It is said that “offense is something you can only take but never give.”

Experiment with finding blessings wherever you go. Quickly you will discover that using a vision of perfection is far more empowering than one of loss. In love you are unbeatable.

I pray to see life through Your eyes, that I may fully reap the gifts of love.

My happiness depends on me. I choose joy now.