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bluidkiti · 10-14-2017, 04:15 AM

October 14

Where Love and Addiction Meet

The first time my child reached his dimpled little hand out for mine, I was there. And I've tried to be there every time he's reached out to me-and even when he hasn't-ever since. Until, that is, my child became an addict. Addiction has made such a mess of things that I'm no longer sure if I should be within range when he reaches out (or even when he doesn't).

I don't know if my help is hurting this child of mine. I don't know if I should stay silent or speak up. I'm not sure how to love without doing the things that seem loving, or where to put the dreams and conversations and hugs that have gone unused and are piling up. I don't know how to fill my empty arms, or where to put my love for this child who says he hates me. My heart doesn't understand this place where love and addiction meet-it's all confused about what it means to be my son's mom.

I cannot be there for my child in the way life intended, but my love will always be there whenever he reaches out-and even when he doesn't.

I mean, it is the most impossible love . . . it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk, and then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff. And I'm supposed to just stand there and wave.
Because I Said So

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

10-14-2017, 04:15 AM	#14
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 70,587	October 14 Where Love and Addiction Meet The first time my child reached his dimpled little hand out for mine, I was there. And I've tried to be there every time he's reached out to me-and even when he hasn't-ever since. Until, that is, my child became an addict. Addiction has made such a mess of things that I'm no longer sure if I should be within range when he reaches out (or even when he doesn't). I don't know if my help is hurting this child of mine. I don't know if I should stay silent or speak up. I'm not sure how to love without doing the things that seem loving, or where to put the dreams and conversations and hugs that have gone unused and are piling up. I don't know how to fill my empty arms, or where to put my love for this child who says he hates me. My heart doesn't understand this place where love and addiction meet-it's all confused about what it means to be my son's mom. I cannot be there for my child in the way life intended, but my love will always be there whenever he reaches out-and even when he doesn't. I mean, it is the most impossible love . . . it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk, and then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff. And I'm supposed to just stand there and wave. Because I Said So You are reading from the book: Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.