I think I misspoke or wasn't clear, I don't withdrawal from stimulants, I just can't be around them and the people I love need them. I couldn't get off opiates because of withdrawal, this is different I eat them because they are around and no matter the pain it causes my family I still do it. I'm like that with drugs in general if they are around I eat them. I had a stroke when I was young and as someone who probably needs something to feel normal, I'm also an addict. I do ok if they aren't in arms reach but no amount of steps, desire to stop, higher power or therapy has ever helped. The only way I've ever been successful is distance, my son truly needs something and my fiance also, I don't want to leave them obviously, I just hoped someone who got clean has been here before and there's a solution. No amount of will power Will change that I will take drugs if I live around people who need them. Thank you for your words and I will try anything I just think something was lost in translation.
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