Quote:
June 3
Direct And Indirect Amends
"We make our amends to the best of our ability."
Basic Text, p. 40
The Ninth Step tells us to make direct amends wherever possible. Our experience tells us to follow up those direct amends with long - lasting changes in our attitudes and our behavior - that is, with indirect amends. For example, say we've broken someone's window because we were angry. Looking soulfully into the eyes of the person whose window we've broken and apologizing would not be sufficient. We directly amend the wrong we've done by admitting it and replacing the window - we mend what we have damaged.
Then, we follow up our direct amends with indirect amends. If we've acted out on our anger, breaking someone's window, we examine the patterns of our behavior and our attitudes. After we repair the broken window, we seek to repair our broken attitudes as well - we try to "mend our ways." We modify our behavior, and make a daily effort not to act out on our anger.
We make direct amends by repairing the damage we do. We make indirect amends by repairing the attitudes that cause us to do damage in the first place, helping insure we won't cause further damage in the future.
Just for today: I will make direct amends, wherever possible. I will also make indirect amends, "mending my ways," changing my attitudes, and altering my behavior.
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Amends were so important, especially about the part of not hurting others. That also included hurting me and making an amend to my God.
Indirect amends was getting involved in service. There were too many people long gone, or were in my life for a short time and their names were forgotten, so what I could do or say to them, I got involved with service, at the local jail, detox, recovery houses, community service, sharing my story at meetings, and just going to a meeting and sharing my experience, strength, and hope. I first got started at my home group in the kitchen and setting up the meetings and taking them down, secretary, literature, hospitals and institutions, General Service Rep and Inter-Group Rep. I also got involved with the Help Line and sponsored or was a temporary sponsor until they found someone who could give them the time they needed.
I truly don't think I would be clean and sober in today if it wasn't for service.