[bluidkiti]

August 13

Step by Step

"When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?
" ...(W)e were squarely confronted with the question of faith. We couldn't duck the issue. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines and the promise of the New Land had brought luster to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits. ...We were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. But somehow, we couldn't quite step ashore. Perhaps we had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 53.

Today, I couldn't have reasoned myself into the condition that requires recovery without some faith even if I didn't recognize it. Even now, after my baptism into the program, if I continue to resist ideas that a power called God or anything else led me into recovery, is it plausible that the same reasoning that pushed me to the edge of darkness also pulled me back? Regardless of the answer, if I still reject the possibility of a higher power or God or whatever else anyone calls a supreme being, maybe as my recovery progresses, I will at least become willing to consider there is a force stronger and greater than I. Today, I won't debunk talk about a higher power by claiming my own reason for my recovery because, after all, it was my reasoning that contributed to me becoming an alcoholic. Maybe today will be the day I finally believe that something other than myself saved me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

REALITY

Realities are far less dangerous than fantasies.

~ Anonymous ~

When we speak of being restored to sanity, we could well be speaking of restoring reality to our lives. Our addictions, compulsions, and dependencies kept us in a world of weird fantasy. Mental extremes made us think and feel unnaturally.

When intoxicated or "high," everything weird seemed to "belong," to be real and natural. The fantasy we accepted was from the realm of insanities. We accepted "fate" as our lot, but when the haze of the unreal left, we often experienced shame, guilt and regret from knowing what we had accepted.

As we found recovery and escaped the shackles of addiction, we came to realize that spiritual growth was not as hopeless for us as our experiences had led us to believe. But we had to reach for reality and reject what was fantasy. Change comes when recovery removes all of the confusion from our dream world of addiction.

Reality never changes, but my acceptance of it does. The real world is very different from the impression my addiction gave me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

No one has completed his education who has not learned to live with an insoluble problem.

~ Edmund J. Kiefer ~

Facing, for the first time, a stone wall that we cannot change can be quite a shock. It’s a huge emotional challenge that changes us from boys to men. Some people first meet their insoluble problem in the form of the death of a loved one, others through a child with an incurable handicap, and others by way of a chronic illness or an addiction. Whatever form a man’s stone wall takes, he naturally responds first with a refusal to accept it and a search for a way around it. But when he ultimately learns to accept reality, he changes in a profound way. He has stepped into the world of adults.

We used to feel that our addiction and codependency were burdens, tragedies that we had to carry. But there is a bright side to the dark stories of our past: when we got honest about our powerlessness, we became real men.

Today I accept my powerlessness once again and feel grateful for the wisdom it has taught me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Laughter, like a drenching rain, settles the dust, cleans and brightens the world around us, and changes our whole perspective.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Laughter’s power is awesome. Some might say miraculous. We all know the effects of laughter, liven in the midst of frustrating circumstances, nothing seems as bleak or hopeless after being observed through the twinkling eyes of laughter.

How is it that our perspective changes after a moment or two of laughter? Does laughing shake loose the cobwebs that clutch the grim realities? All we know for certain is that nothing appears quite the same after we’ve loosened our hold on life’s dark explanations.

Laughter refreshes us. We can’t change the people we love, we can’t determine outcomes, we can’t control how God works in our lives. But we can laugh. And laughing about our experiences gives us the chance to accept them and make them work to our advantage.

Nothing is quite as serious as I make it today. Lightening up and laughing a little makes every minute easier.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can love myself

When I remember all the times I got high, all the junk I ate, all the sleep I lost, all the anger I kept inside (and the times I hurt myself through a rage turned inward), I realize that I have not loved myself much. It scares me to look back and imagine where I was headed.

But slowly through recovery I have begun to turn my life around, and today I am doing things differently. I am clean and sober, eating better on a regular schedule, and getting the rest I need. I'm even taking medication to help me with my psychiatric symptoms. I feel shy saying it (I guess it's just not familiar), but I care about myself today and I truly want to be healthy.

Today I will look at myself in the minor and say "I love you"—or at the very least, "I'm worth caring about."

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.

~ Richard Bach ~

Staying free of chemicals is sometimes more difficult than simply stopping. Our sobriety is a gift, but it isn’t free. To recover, we need a plan of action and a willingness to work. If we take the Twelve Steps and group them by threes, we can see that we will “give up,” “clean up,” “make up,” and “grow up.” If we suffer a setback in one area, we can work on those steps with our sponsor. Sometimes we reach another level of growth in our recovery; then we can go back and work the Steps in a new way. So we begin again, as beginners, but with all the mental skills and clarity we’ve developed in sobriety. Safe in the care of our Higher Power, we’ve begun to dream again. And our physical selves have begun to recover, too; they will take us where we want to go.

Success comes in doing, moving forward, one step at a time. When we wish for and work at sobriety, we find our possibilities are endless.

Today grant me the willingness to dedicate effort toward the gift of sobriety.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

In the past, you may have attempted to use your own power to climb out of the deep, dark well of addiction. The only equipment you had to help in your escape was a frayed rope attached to a weak anchor. Even when you exerted your greatest effort to inch your way up the slippery sides of the well, the rope would unravel or the anchor would slip and you would fall back down to the bottom.

But when you are ready, the program offers a sturdy ladder that is held firmly in place by many others. The strength of this ladder offers you the opportunity to finally escape from your prison. It is up to you to make the climb.

As you draw ever closer to the top of the well, when you can fully release yourself from your addiction, you will be greeted by strong hands and encouraging words. These are the hands and voices of your rescuers, who were once trapped in that same well. They know how hard it is to make the climb. But they are committed to helping you SO you do not lose your grip or your determination.

The ladder of recovery is strong. I trust that it will hold me and lead me to a place in which I can grow.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the shin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.

~ Samuel Ullman ~

Today we see more young people in the program. We may look at them and think, "lf only I had found the program at their age. I would have so much more time to live and grow."

We've heard it said, "You are as young as you feel." Although physically we may feel not so young, that phrase refers to our state of mind and the belief in our hearts. To feel younger, imagine the program has given us new life, and we can measure our age in terms of our time since recovery.

Perhaps today we are one year old or five or more. In the program we are all children, not adults. We are all learning for the first time how to walk on our own, how to speak our minds, and how to take care of ourselves. We are not old . . . we are but babes ready to learn and grow!

Tonight I can forget my chronological age and think instead of my youth in the program. I am young, with lots of time to grow.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Preserving anonymity

Anonymity means more than just protecting fellow members from exposure or shame. It means placing principles above personalities. It means avoiding the temptation to use our recovery as a prestige point. Such self- seeking can be a serious spiritual danger.

Our program is our lifeline. We must respect it and all its members. Do I maintain anonymity at all times, in all ways?

Higher Power, help me to accept and respect the traditions of the Twelve Step program.

Today I will reflect on the tradition of anonymity by

God help me to stay clean and sober to day!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

In the course of time, we grow to love things we once hated and hate the things we once loved.

~ ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON ~

Newcomer

What does "Be good to yourself" really mean? Sometimes when I'm supposed to be working, I want to lie around in bed and do nothing, or sit in front of the TV eating pints of ice cream. "Be good to yourself" comes into my head, so I let myself goof off, then I feel guilty.

Sponsor

There's nothing wrong with relaxing; in fact, many of us in recovery have had a lot to learn about having fun and not treating ourselves like machines. Recovery is not about deprivation.

But being good to ourselves doesn't mean substituting new addictive substances or behaviors for the old ones. Eating a whole pint of ice cream a day, watching hours of TV, sleeping when we have things to do—these are forms of anesthesia. In that respect, they're no different from drinking alcohol or using heroin. They're ways of making feelings disappear, cutting off our connection with ourselves.

Being good to ourselves might mean taking a walk, listening to music, buying ourselves flowers, making plans with a friend—whatever genuinely nurtures us. It doesn't mean doing what we know through our experience or intuition is only going to deaden our spirits.

Today, I know how to nurture myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The men and women who are doing the bulk of the work in your Group seldom complain. They are too busy doing their job and yours to have the time. There is no time left for griping.

If things are not being run your way, maybe that is because you are doing nothing to “change the things you can.”

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Yes or No

Higher Power, today I will remember:
When I was practicing my addiction, I lost track
Of what was right or wrong, honest or dishonest.
Pride was defended,
Anger was justified,
Lust was accepted,
Gluttony was encouraged,
Envy was normal,
Creed was there to be satisfied,
Laziness was a way of life.
In recovery I have come to recognize and rediscover
The integrity in myself by simply knowing;
What is right is what I feel good about,
What is wrong is what I feel bad about.
I will continue to live by yes and no;
This I make into a simple prayer:
Yes to everything good,
No to everything bad.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SECRET PLACE

The Ninety-first Psalm is one of the greatest chapters in the Bible. Like the rest of Scripture, the underlying thought is developed through a series of symbols, and it is by the appreciation of the values lying behind these symbols that the power of this prayer is appropriated.

The way to get the most out of this psalm is to read it through quietly; pausing after each clause to consider the meaning and assenting to this mentally. If you are fearful you will find, after working through the prayer two or three times, that your fear will have gone and that you are now looking at things from a different point of view.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 9l:1).

The Secret Place of the most High is your own consciousness, and this fact is the most important practical discovery in the science of religion. The error usually made is to suppose the Secret Place of the most High to be somewhere outside of yourself, an error fatal to our hopes, because our success in prayer depends upon getting some degree of contact with God; and since He is only to be contacted within, as long as we are looking without we must fail in our objective. Jesus emphasized this truth, The kingdom of God is within you. Again he said that when we pray we are to enter into the closet and shut the door, meaning, to retire in thought within our own consciousness. In fact, this doctrine of the Secret Place and the wonders that can happen therein is taught throughout the Bible.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Prayer Conditioned

More things are brought by prayer than this world dreams of.

~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson ~

At the orientation of a week-long spiritual conference at a Pennsylvania college, one of the 500 participants raised her hand and asked, "When are we going to get our dorm room keys?”

"We don't give out keys," the sponsor answered. "The entire campus is prayer conditioned. We have done conferences here for over ten years, we have never issued a key, and we have never had a theft or loss."

The consciousness we bring to any activity creates a psychic environment that protects or undermines what we do in that field. Prayer works. Holding an activity in prayer or prayerful attitude will draw to it a wealth of support, energy, and protection. Scientific studies have shown that praying over food changes the food's chemical properties, and that hospital patients who receive prayer treatment recover faster than control groups.

In Russia, I visited a church where an icon of the Virgin Mary had been venerated during a plague. The plague took a grueling toll on the entire region except for the town that had prayed for intervention, which miraculously remained untouched.

When undertaking any significant enterprise or relationship, or when facing a challenge, make prayer your first line of support. It will help you far more than fear or worldly manipulation.

I place my trust in You. Though unseen to the human eye, You are perfectly present.

God is my strength and my fortress. Spirit never fails.