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April 18

Step by Step

Today, recommit as a trusting member of the program and its members who confide their Fourth Step and all other communications. We must treat as private all things any members share and cannot share or “gossip” with anyone whatever another member says even if there is no stated promise of confidentiality. Failure to treat as private all matters involving any member is a show of disrespect to both the other person and the program, and disqualifies us as an ethical 12th-Stepper. In recovery, we cannot expect that what we share will be a private communication if we do not convey the same respect of others. Today, sobriety carries the responsibility of loyalty, trust and respect of the program and its members – and they have it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SECOND LIVES

We are here to add what we can to, not get what we can from, life.

~ Sir William Osler ~

Many of us used to moan, “I wish I were dead.” Our addictions and obsessions made us hate ourselves. Other people scorned and pitied us. We wanted to die. We hoped that a lie after death would give us rest from our constant battle with compulsions. But today we can find a better answer.

There is life before death. Those of us who once cried out, “nobody cares,” have found loving, caring friends who share our problems and help us find the answers. They guide us daily through wonderful adventures in living. We all receive great truths in recovery.

I have been given the chance to live two lives. The cruel one has gone. The second one is rich with blessings. Nothing must tempt me to return to the old.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Thought is action in rehearsal

~ Sigmund Freud ~

We sometimes indulge ourselves in fantasies and images of things we would like to do, or in euphoric recall of what we did in the past. Thoughts are powerful forces, and the ways we use them will shape our development. An Olympic diver creates vivid images of the perfect dive in his mind as part of his training be-cause his thoughts help him perform at the crucial moment. Even in recovery, we are sometimes tempted to revisit former ecstatic moments from our using days, or to dream about a return to using but with better control the next time. We need to keep in mind that these thoughts serve as rehearsals for later action. They only weaken our recovery.

What kind of thoughts shall we cultivate in our minds? We can picture ourselves feeling relaxed and peaceful, having the craving lifted from us. We can picture ourselves maintaining a serene detachment while confronted with crisis. We can picture a situation with a loved one in which we say what we need to say and feel good about staying true to ourselves. This is the way to use our minds to rehearse for future action.

Today I will hold an image of myself feeling relaxed and safe, even in the midst of confusion around me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Our own gentleness is a powerful force in our lives. It is like the gentle flower that grows through granite.

~ Patricia Hoolihan ~

We are attracted to women and men who have cultivated a gentle spirit. Their softness nurtures all of us who come into their space. We are soothed and made whole by their caring spirit. Let’s allow our caring spirit to develop too.

The aggression we may have grown accustomed to in our families and neighborhoods need not claim us for all time. We have the power within us to chart a new course. We have examples of gentleness all around us; they are our guides and are here by divine appointment.

Whatever task we are destined to perform in this clean and sober life can best be accomplished if directed by a heart that cares. Being gentle promises each of us the same comfort it offers others. Each gentle act heals our heart and lovingly nurtures the future.

Being gentle today is much easier than being mean-spirited. My gentle side will nurture my inner child and remove my fears.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am searching for strength and meaning

It is hard to face my uncertain future. With my dual disorder, especially the mood disorder, I now see that much in my life must change in order to get better. Sometimes I feel I have little to hold on to.

But no matter what else changes, I will always have the Twelve Step program. It does not predict the course of my recovery, but it offers me bedrock to stand on, a path to follow, and the understanding and strength of fellow travelers. It offers me meaning.

I will attend at least two Twelve Step meetings each week as part of my dual recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I feel like I had a slip today, and I didn’t drink or use.

~ Beth T. ~

Aside from a “slip” to drinking or using, we may also have what we call a “behavior slip,” a return to an old pattern of unhealthy behavior toward ourselves or others. Behaviors such as lying to someone, losing our temper unnecessarily, or carelessly hurting another’s feelings are all too easy to fall into sometimes.

At least now, though, our minds are clear and we can realize it when it happens. We become aware of unhealthy behavior and, thanks to our recovery program, take action. We can make an immediate amend, and teach ourselves to avoid that behavior in the future.

These behavior slips are not the end of our recovery. They are signs that we are breaking away from old patterns, old ways of living. They are part of the process — painful when they happen, but resolvable. And they are happening less and less. We can forgive ourselves for these slips. When they happen, we can share the experience with our Higher Power, group or sponsor. They can help us heal the wound, make an amend, and let go again.

Today help me be aware of my behavior toward others and honestly make amends when I need to.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.

~ Maya Angelou ~

Laura Hillenbrand tells about a time when she watched some laborers working on an electrical box. One of the men walked into her side yard, looked around, and then jumped onto a swing her father had hung from a tree. The man, she wrote, “swung peacefully with the biggest grin on his face. Then he jumped off and went back to work.” A well-ordered, predictable day-to-day existence can provide you with much-needed parameters for lessening the chaos you have felt in the past. But strict adherence to a well-ordered existence can leave little room for curiosity, wonder, play, and adventure, which can add lightness to your life.

When you were a child, daydreams provided release from boredom and predictability and gave you the opportunity to ponder “What if” questions. It did not matter where your daydreams took you or if they would come true. You still have the opportunity to daydream today— and even to make your daydreams come true. You can imagine riding a horse across a grassy field—and sign up for a riding lesson. You can imagine being a brave person— and then transfer that energy into your actions today.

Today I will let my daydreams come so I can see a world full of joy and possibilities.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.

~ Swedish proverb ~

Worry does absolutely nothing for our emotional, physical, or spiritual health. Worry makes us anxiety ridden people. Suddenly a small situation or a minor disagreement takes on the proportion of a giant, looming high above us and casting a long, dark shadow over our lives.

“How important is it?” is a good question to ask at times when we are worried. The second question to ask is, “What can I do about this worry right now?” lf we stay in the present, we’ll soon discover that much of our worry involves something in the past or something yet to happen. For as long as we focus on the object of our worry, we are not living in the here and now.

We have the power within us to make our worries gigantic. We also have the power to make our worries manageable. As we look back over today’s events, we don’t need to waste our present time worrying over things done or things left undone. Nor do we need to worry about things yet to come. We can choose instead to live for right now and leave our worries where they belong.

I will walk with my own shadow and not one cast by worry.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing the little things

Commonplace acts of kindness are a way to God even more than the grand and glorious acts. It is the everyday observance of what we know to be right that will lead us to our Higher Power. We must live up to what we know will sustain us in our drug-free lives.

With smiles, friendly words, and patience during trying times, we will slowly climb the steps of growth. It is harder to do the little things every day than to shine forth in a crisis, and nothing that we do or don’t do goes unnoticed by our Higher Power.

Do I tend to the little things every day?

Higher Power, help me find satisfaction in doing the simple, common tasks.

Two little things I will tend to today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Would you take a stick and punish your hand because it lacked understanding?

~ RABBI SHMELKE OF NIKOLSBURG ~

Newcomer

What is a “moral inventory,” exactly?

Sponsor

There are many approaches to Step Four in program literature and in publications about recovery; at Step meetings you’ll hear people describe still other methods suggested by their sponsors. All these methods involve writing—one of the most powerful tools we have in recovery.

Taking our moral inventory helps us get to know ourselves better by looking honestly at our behavior and its impact on ourselves and others. One simple, effective approach, as suggested in AA’s Big Book, focuses on two key emotions: fear and resentment. We make as complete as possible a list of people and institutions we have feared and resented. We identify what it is in us that feels threatened by each individual on our list. The result is a portrait—not of others, but of ourselves and the feelings that have fueled our addictive lives.

Another approach is to list our assets and deficits, as we might do for a business. A balanced picture includes pluses as well as minuses, so for those of us who are experts at self-dislike, it’s important to note not only our past mistakes, but also the progress we’ve made. How are we evolving into more honest, caring, responsible people? What are we doing better? What are our positive qualities, and how do they contribute to a strong recovery?

Today, I think about writing a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. In the spirit of honesty, I will record assets as well as deficits.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It has always been a source of amusement to observe how belligerent people get in religious controversies and it is usually true that the less religion they practice the more they are prone to argue about it.

A convert is anyone who deserts some other form of religion and accepts yours or mine. Your convert may be my renegade.

Those who have the real spirit of the Golden Rule don’t have to fight over religion for they have it, they know they have it and they know no one can take it from them.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Heard it through the group-vine.

2) NA Nazis

3) Serenity is not the absence of disturbance, it is being okay with that disturbance.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Search For Serenity

The search is yours and mine. Each finds his way with help, but yet alone.

Serenity is the goal. It comes to those who learn to wait and grow; for each can learn to understand himself and say, “I’ve found a joy in being me, and knowing you; a knowledge of the depths I can descend, a chance to climb the heights above my head.”

The way is no so easy all the time. Our feet will stumble often as we go. A friend may need to give some extra help, as we once gave to others when in the hour of fear.

This is no picnic path that we have found; but yet compared to other days and other times, it seems a better route.

We lost our way before, in fear, guilt, and resentments held too long. Self-pity had its way with us; we found the perfect alibi for all our faults.

We do not know what life may bring from day to day. Tomorrow is a task not yet begun, and we could fail to pass its test.

But this will ait, while in today we do the best we can. Today we try to grow. Today we live, we seek to know, to give, to share, with you.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SALT AND LIGHT

Read Matthew 5:13 – 16

In the fifth chapter of Matthew are recorded some of the most powerful pronouncements of Jesus.

Ye are the salt of the earth . . . Ye are the light of the world (Matthew 5:13 – 14).

It is possible, and in fact, only too easy, to accept these vital principles as being true; to love the beauty in them; and yet not to put them consistently into practice in one’s own life’ but this is a perilous attitude, for in that case the salt has lost its savor, and is good for nothing but to be cast out and trodden underfoot.

If you make every effort to practice the teachings of Jesus in every department of your own daily life; if you seek systematically to destroy in yourself selfishness, pride, vanity, sensuality, self-righteousness, jealousy, self-pity, resentment, condemnation, and so forth—not feeding or nourishing them by giving in to them; if you extend the right thought loyally to ever person within your ken, then you are worthy to be called the salt of the earth.

If you truly live this life, then not only will you make your own demonstration, in the quickest possible time, but you will be, in a very positive sense, a healing and illumining influence on all around you. You will be a blessing to men and women in remote places and times, men and women of whom you have never heard, and who will never hear of you—a light of the world.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Consciousness, Not Conditions

Consciously selected miracles can be misguided.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

One of the questions I am most frequently asked is, “How do I know if something I am praying for is in my best interests? What if I am imposing my will over God’s will? How can I tell if my request is being inspired by love or driven by my ego?”

A rule of thumb that I suggest is to assume that your inspirations are coming from right intuition, and act with authority. Once in a while you will find that you have made a mistake, but in the long run you will be way ahead of where you would be if you assume that your intuitions are guided by ego and do nothing.

The real answer to the question is to understand that what you are seeking is not really conditions, but consciousness. You may be praying for a new BMW, but what you really want is to know that you are an abundant being living in a wealthy universe. You may be seeking a soulmate, but behind your search is the quest to know that you are lovable and cherishable. You may want to have a number-one hit on the pop charts, but behind that desire is the wish to feel acknowledged and important. You can get the conditions, but if you do not have the consciousness, you will be ever seeking and striving for more conditions. If you have the consciousness, however, the conditions will usually manifest automatically, and even if they do not, you will be secure in your wholeness.

If you aren’t sure if what you are praying for is correct, complete your prayer with “this or better.” Tell God (remind yourself) that you are doing the best you can with what you know, and if there is something more wonderful available, you are willing to give up your current idea for the bigger picture.

Help me to know that my prayers are worthy. Show me that I am Your child, deserving of your kingdom.

God’s will for me is perfect happiness.