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April 28

Step by Step

Today, no running from mistakes with a sense of failure or blaming someone. No recovery program reaches for perfection because no person will or can ever achieve it. Likewise, I cannot and must not impose that unreachable goal on myself - and others. AA's 10th Step says, in part, that we "promptly admitted" when we are wrong - not if. Thus, let me not be so vain as to place responsibility for my mistakes, big and small, on someone or something else. Adversely, let me not be discouraged by a sense of failure when I err in word, thought and deed. Instead, let me be open to owning my mistakes, identifying the reason for them and correcting the reason so that I do not repeat them. Today, I am not mistake-proof and I cannot expect myself to be - nor can I expect anyone and anything else to be. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ANONYMITY

Anonymity is so important, it is half our name.

~ Anonymous ~

The 12th Tradition of our Fellowship states clearly the value we place in our anonymity. It is so important that it becomes part of our identity. We have found the secret to making the many into one. We have discovered the key to Fellowship. This Tradition cuts across all the ways we try to separate ourselves from each other.

There is no amount of money, no special title, no special circumstances that can break anonymity. We are joined by the one thing we have in common: our disease.

Even though we’re anonymous, we’re still members of the most exclusive club in the world. The only requirement is that we have a problem and a sincere desire to solve it. Our Program reminds us that when we attend meetings, we let “who we see there, what we hear there,” stay there when we leave.

My anonymous membership in this special club lets me live a life of many rewards.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.

~ Henry James ~

When we don’t know ourselves very well, we may be desperate to have everyone like us. Sometimes we even notice more intently that one person who doesn’t seem to like us than the many who do. We are looking out-ward to verify that we are okay. Of course it feels good to have someone else like and respect us. Until we begin to know and accept ourselves, we have an un-quenchable, unselective thirst for more applause from others. In that condition, the search for others’ approval drives us like the need for survival.

It is amazing how our sense of ourselves grows as we live in the Twelve Step program. We get to know our-selves by working the Steps, and we develop into the kind of men we respect. Now, having others like us is no longer a survival need. It is a wonderful benefit of being part of the human community.

Today I am fateful for the true friendships that I have in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

God is the only constant.

~ Ruth Casey ~

Change is happening to us every minute. Scientists tell us that all our body’s cells are replaced every few months. We are losing old hair and growing new hair every day. The plant world participates in a cycle of death and renewal every minute. We are surrounded by change. And when it’s change that doesn’t affect our egos, we accept it without comment, or in many cases, without notice.

Change in our personal lives is not so easily accepted. Losing a job can be devastating. Ending a relationship might feel unsurvivable. Moving to a new community, away from friends, can be profoundly lonely and disorienting. We haven’t been promised unchanging lives. But we have been promised an unchanging, always-loving Higher Power. The most fruitful lessons we can learn are that God is with us throughout every experience and that change is introduced in our lives only when it helps us fulfill our greater purpose.

I will trust the experiences in store for me today and have faith they are part of God’s plan.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

My program provides helpful tools for recovery

At first I thought that all I had to do was join a Twelve Step fellowship and my problems would be solved. I even thought (hoped?) that twelve meetings (one for each Step) would do the trick. But what I found out was that the program does not cure a chronic illness. However, if I used some simple yet powerful tools, they can help me recover one day at a time.

There are several of them and they’re used in all the fellowships. The tools include meetings, service, accountability (inventories, amends), the literature, prayer, meditation, the telephone, the Steps, the Traditions, and anonymity. In my program these days, I use at least one of them every day to help me stay free of my addiction and stay stable in my mental health.

Today I will practice using one recovery tool on a current problem.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Sometimes I love you and sometimes I hate you.

Kirstin M.

Even the people we love sometimes get on our nerves. Spouses, siblings, close friends, and other people we care about do not and cannot always meet our needs. Sometimes when we need a sympathetic ear, we get criticism instead. Other times we may want to be held, but get a cold shoulder. Love may change to hate, only to change back again to love at another time. Add addiction to this love-hate relationship and our moods may swing out of control.

In recovery we may set ourselves up for disappointment if we believe the love-hate swing will end forever and only love will remain. We are not always going to get warm, loving feelings from those we love. Even in recovery, those we care about continue to be human with their own needs and concerns.

Our feelings will change, too. But when feelings of anger or hate surface, we need not despair. Our Higher Power is always with us. By working our program, we learn to talk about bad times, learn they will pass, and come to believe that love and acceptance will surface again. Now, we can begin to recognize the pattern of real life, and accept changes in others and ourselves with serenity.

Today I am grateful for my Higher Power’s love and acceptance.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?

~ Erma Bombeck ~

An excellent illustration of optimism comes from Portia Nelson, in her book of poetry, There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. In her poem “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters,” Nelson describes a hole in the sidewalk that confronts her each time she walks down the street. The first time she walks down the street, she falls into the hole. The second time she pretends she does not see the hole, but falls into it nonetheless. The third time she falls in, calling the tumble a habit. The fourth time, she walks around the hole. In the fifth and final chapter, she walks down another street.

Nelson, who achieved fame as a singer, songwriter, and actress, wrote the book of poetry as a breast cancer survivor. Later on in life, throat and tongue cancer robbed her of her voice, but not her talent for song writing and scoring musicals and films.

There are thousands of people who, each day, approach a multitude of problems, afflictions, and difficulties with an optimistic outlook. They refashion their lives so they can continue to live with a positive attitude and enjoyment.

Today I will not allow the circumstances of my life or the challenges I face to destroy my cheerfulness or my ability to reinvent myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature - the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after the winter.

~ Rachel Carson ~

Sometimes it seems as though time speeds up during fun-filled hours and slows down during times of idleness, misery, or pain. But time proceeds at a steady, unchanging pace. Because of this, we are assured that with every minute there can be new hope. Bad times will end with the great healer - time.

Time brings summer to a close as well as winter to an end. Time ages the brilliant petals of flowers as well as prepares the new buds. Time brings the end to a life as well as the beginning to another. Because of this continuum, we can trust that time will bring the good to us as well as take away the bad.

Today may have been a trying time. But tomorrow will dawn and along with that dawn comes renewed hope. We can trust in the constancy of one thing - time will always move forward, taking us away from the old and gently guiding us to the new.

Time is always on my side, taking me ever closer to new moments that are fresh and untouched. Tomorrow will give me many such moments, of this I can be assured.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing humility

Sometimes we puff up our egos and think, Since I’m overcoming this terrible addiction, I must be very wise. But it is not through self or our own wisdom that we recover. We recover through the love and guidance of our Higher Power.

If we keep in mind who we are, what we are, and where our hope has come from, we can grow stronger in our recovery. If we for-get these basics and rely on our egos, we will grow closer to the streets and to despair.

Am I practicing humility?

I pray to acknowledge my Higher Power as my source, strength, and hope, not myself or “intellectual wisdom.”

I will practice humility today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Everything may happen.

~ SENECA ~

Newcomer

I was talking with someone in recovery about how to deal with a difficult situation I think may arise. The person said to me, “Stop projecting.” I felt put down. This thing I’m worrying about is a real possibility, not something I’m making up; I think I should be prepared for it. What’s so bad about “projecting”?

Sponsor

Some people in recovery call Steps Four through Nine a way to clear up the wreckage of the past. A friend says she knows that she’s projecting when she’s “worrying about the wreckage of the future”1.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with having goals and making plans, but we need to watch that we’re not obsessing. When I was active in my addiction, making plans was always a problem. I would frequently commit myself to something in advance, then panic; there was a fifty-fifty chance that I’d cancel when the day arrived. Sometimes I was in complete denial about the future and avoided necessary scheduling.

In recovery, we can and should make realistic plans. We have to pack suitcases for a trip, set up work schedules that make it possible to keep our commitments, make social appointments that will bring fun into our lives. And we can learn to leave some breathing space so that we’re not booked in advance for every day and every evening.

Today, I have goals and plans. I take appropriate actions and turn the results over to my Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The span of human life is such a small part of eternity that the length of your life, whether it be twenty years or a hundred, is of no moment. Yet the life span of some men has, and will continue to have, great influence upon many succeeding generations.

If you can by one single act do something that will benefit just one person fifty years from now, you will have done more than millions who have gone before you. Few leave anything to posterity when they die that will outlive their tombstone.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I always carry my medallion,
A simple reminder to me
Of the fact that I’m in recovery
No matter where I may be.

This little chip is not magic
Nor is it a good luck charm.
It isn’t supposed to protect me
From every possible harm.

It’s not meant for comparison,
Or for all the world to see,
It’s simply an understanding
Between my Higher Power and me.

Whenever I doubt the cost
I paid for recovery,
I look at my medallion
To remember what used to be.

It reminds me to be thankful
For my blessing day by day,
And to practice the principles
In all I do and say.

It’s also a daily reminder
Of the peace and comfort I share
With all who work the Program
And show they really care.

So I carry my medallion
To remind no one but me
That the Promises will unfold
If I let God work for me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

MAKING TERMS WITH THE ADVERSARY

By coming to terms with the adversary in the first place, that is to say, by getting our thought right immediately concerning any difficulty, we incur no “costs” and the transaction remains a simple one.

Suppose that you find yourself sneezing. If you say: “There, now, I have caught cold again; I am in for it!” and then proceed to dwell upon the thought that you have caught cold, you are giving the trouble the opportunity to dig itself in to your mentality. People often indulge in quite a meditation upon colds. Instead, if at the first moment that the possibility of catching cold occurs to you, you immediately reject it and affirm the Truth, the whole thing will be over in a short time.

Or perhaps upon opening your morning mail you find a notice informing you that your bank has failed. Many people in such a case would saturate themselves with the thought of ruin by rehearsing every kind of difficulty that might come. However, the proper thing to do, immediately upon becoming aware of the news, is to turn to God─your real support─and refuse to accept the suggestion as trouble as binding; literally drive the thought of loss, fear, and resentment out of consciousness. If you do this, working steadily until peace of mind is restored, you will presently find that in some way or other the trouble will disappear. Either the bank will speedily recover itself─and there is no reason at all why one person’s prayer should not save the bank and the fortunes of thousands─or, if this is not possible, you will find your loss equalized in some other way.

. . . whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

You Won’t Get Over It

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

~ Goethe ~

In the film Doc Hollywood, Michael J. Fox portrays a young doctor who becomes stranded in a tiny southern town, where he falls in love with a young woman named Lou who is engaged to a man named Hank. Although Lou is not in love with Hank, she feels she must go through with the marriage because it would be too embarrassing to cancel it. Fox confronts Hank, reminding him, “But she is not in love with you!”

“That’s okay,” Hank answers nonchalantly, "She’ll get over that.”

Many women in my seminars have told me they wish they had listened to their inner voice when it told them not to go ahead with a particular marriage at an early age. Sooner or later, after a certain amount of hardship, such women or men trace their steps back to the point where they sold out; they begin to tell the truth they were denying, and confront the issues of their relationship. Because they learned a great deal in the process, the experience is not a total loss, but they do gain the awareness that they must honor their instincts and not go along with something just because it is socially expedient.

I discovered a challenging Zen koan, a riddle to contemplate throughout the day: Where does yourself end and where does society begin? What do you do because you honestly choose it, and what do you do because it is expected of you? If you were living to fulfill your heart’s intentions rather than the wishes of others, what would you be doing differently?

When we violate ourselves out of fear, we don’t get over it. The universe asks us only to be true to ourselves, and if we deny self-integrity, eventually we must return to the same point and choose again, this time in our favor.

I must live my truth. Give me the strength to be what I am.

I honor my heart. I live my own dreams.