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April 29

Step by Step

Today, service to other people or causes as an essential element in my recovery, that expending some of my attention to something other than myself may make my problems not as bad as I think they are. Service can range from giving a lead talk, talking to a sponsor or sponsee, volunteering to make the coffee for a meeting or simply listening to someone else's problems or experiences. And possibly, the problems I have, or think I have and maybe exaggerate, may seem somewhat less serious. Adversely, I must respect prudence in not expending myself to the extreme that my own needs and working on problems are sacrificed and neglected. In the end, my program requires that I not focus all that I have completely on myself and that sharing or volunteering for some degree of service work may make my own problems less heavy. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THOSE WHO LISTEN

When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the secrets for finding answers to any emotional problem is to talk with fellow members we can confide in fully. We don’t need to look any farther than our sponsor or the members who are part of our recovery. We quickly find those who always here with a complete understanding about how we feel.

Such friends are perfect listeners because they have suffered and survived the same types of problems. They are compassionate and sympathetic. They listen to us patiently while we completely describe our emotions. Only then do they share details about how they survived. Just knowing that they understand is comforting to us.

My listeners can’t solve my problems for me. But they do show how they used the tools that are available in the Program to work through the same kinds of problems.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

If you are walking through hell, keep going.

~ Winston Churchill ~

Some days, some weeks, even some years seem like hell. We give our best to life and still it continues to be hard. A future with some measure of pain and problems is inevitable from the very day of our birth. That may seem like a bleak reality, and it is what we may call hell. But it is also the very thing that shapes our learning nnd development into good men.

These times of challenge and heartache call us to keep going. They are a source of spiritual lessons for us. If today finds us in the midst of such difficulty, we can know that we are never alone. Our Higher Power is always with us. We can talk to a friend and let him know what is happening in our life. And we can also know that, as bad as any time might be, life is always a mixture that includes some blessings and something to be grateful for.

Today I will keep going forward.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Unless our desire for human compassion is stronger than our desire to be right, to be secure or to belong, love will elude us.

~ Marsha Sinetar ~

Knowing we are loved is what most of us crave, for brief moments we feel it; then it eludes us once again. Why does it slip through our fingers so quickly? One way of attracting the love we desire is to be willing to love others. What we give to others lames back to us. Unfortunately, we may give Judgment, impatience, or anger far more often than we give love.

We can learn to give compassion. First we need to make the decision to be compassionate. Then we need to act as if we’re comfortable doing this. When we have practiced it a while, we’ll discover that giving love and receiving the love we crave is within our grasp.

I will feel loved when I give love away. I don’t need to be right today. I need to be loved.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need a quiet place

These days I’m sober, stable−and fragile. My therapy is helping me get better, but it’s also stressful and upsetting. Emotionally, I feel bruised and raw. I also feel sad at times because it seems there are few people in my life who understand me and the process of recovery from a dual disorder.

Because I am working hard on my recovery each day, I need a place of serenity and safety. I am learning that a quiet retreat can help me regain strength, get centered, and do the private healing I need. It’s one of the important new ways I am learning to take care of myself in recovery.

I will find or make a place where I can go at any time for safety, release, and relief.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

We’re so kind to other people, why are we so mean to ourselves?

~ Allen A ~

Loving others more than ourselves is common in recovery, especially at the beginning. We quickly learn to accept and love others, even with all their flaws, but we use another set of rules for ourselves. Maybe it’s because we know our own secrets. Maybe our self-esteem still needs an overhaul. Perhaps we think others are guilt-free. Whatever the reason, we can’t really love others until we love ourselves; we can’t give away something we don’t have.

Luckily, we’re learning new ways to boost our self-esteem. Some of us spend a few minutes before sleep reviewing the day, with special emphasis on the positive things we did. Some of us give ourselves positive strokes through the day, telling ourselves what a great job we did or how much progress we’ve made. Others pause each day for a “quiet time” or meditation. Still others make up a list of tasks and tiy to perform one each day. There are many other ways to feel good about ourselves, too; all we need is a little creative thought and effort. But it’s worth the work. We’re valuable, worthy of love, and gaining the tools to learn to love others.

Today help me be kind to myself and to forgive my faults.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Proximity was their support; like walls after an earth-quake they could fall no further for they had fallen against each other.

~ Elizabeth Bowen ~

Native American women often were responsible for a chore that had considerable value to the survival of the tribe—planting. Without crops to grow and harvest, there would be little food to eat in the winter and the tribe would be in danger of starvation. If a woman was sick and unable to begin the spring planting, she would invite all of the members of the tribe to a feast and ask them to plant the fields for her.

The ailing woman knew her tribe would be there to help her, and she made certain everyone had a full belly so they could work hard in the fields. Both sides benefited from the arrangement of mutual support.

The program offers similar mutual support. When one member is feeling weak, the others share their strength. Even when one has experienced a temporary relapse and returns, the group welcomes the member with open arms, providing much-needed acceptance. Without such support, the infrastructure of the group would not be as strong. Without such connection to one another, there would be many individuals, but no whole.

I am thankful for the support I am given and the support I give to others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

As a girl my temper often got out of bounds. But one day when I became angry at a friend over some trivial matter, my mother told me, "Elizabeth, anyone who angers you conquers you.

~ Sister Elizabeth Kenny ~

The phrase "seeing red" is appropriate to describe anger. It may be comfortable for us to feel anger, or it can be excruciatingly painful. But unless we know how to get rid of our angry feelings and bring our lives into balance, anger will dominate us and color everything we come into contact with.

How do we stop feeling angry? The program gives us many ways. First, we can accept our powerlessness over the person, place, or thing that caused our anger. Second, we can ask, "How important is the cause of this anger? Will it be significant enough to remember weeks, months, or even years from now?" Third, we can ask our Higher Power to help us let go of the anger. That may not be easy, for we may want to hold on to it almost as much as we'd like to let it go. But with practice, we can learn to conquer our anger instead of having it conquer us.

Am I angry tonight? I can use the Steps to help conquer my angry feelings and to stop seeing red everywhere I look.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming forgiving

The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.

We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.

Am I forgiving?

Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.

Today I will forgive

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

One must get a thing before one can forget it.

~ OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES ~

Newcomer

I hear people talk about having the desire for their drug of choice lifted. I don’t know if that’s what’s happening to me, exactly. I know I don’t want to repeat the painful experiences of my past, and I’m not picking up. But that doesn’t mean I never think about what it would be like to use again.

Sponsor

There’s a difference between desire and compulsion. There are sober alcoholics who sometimes still experience a desire to drink, as do active alcoholics who’ve lost jobs, homes, or families through their disease. Those who respond to cravings with addictive substances and behaviors instead of the tools of recovery are compelled to keep using. We may continue to have the desire for certain things, but the difference is our willingness to come to meetings and treat our compulsion.

We still live with the disease, though many of us no longer experience addiction signals—we don’t hear the old voices inside telling us that we want to pick up a drink, a drug, or an addictive behavior. The voice of recovery inside us is stronger. We don’t make the mistake of thinking we’ve been cured. For most of us, the longer our recovery, the more aware we are of our vulnerability to addiction. If we think an addictive behavior all the way through, we remember the suffering that followed the momentary relief. The central importance of recovery in our lives becomes clearer as we accumulate time in the program.

Today, I’m grateful for reminders of my addiction; they strengthen my commitment to recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Effort has been made to carry AA into schools and young people’s organizations, but the effective response has been so negligible that it has usually been abandoned after a short trial.

AA is a program for ALCOHOLICS – persons suffering from alcoholism. It was designed to appeal to them and them only. It is probably true that we can tell the kids a lot about drinking, but it will fall on deaf ears. Unfortunately, we must be pricked by the sharp thorn of experience in order to learn.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

I Didn’t Have Time

I got up early one morning
And rushed right into the day.
I had so much to accomplish
Hat I didn’t have time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me
And heavier came each task.
“Why doesn’t God help me,” I wondered.
He answered, “You didn’t ask.”
I wanted to see joy and beauty
But the day toiled on, gray and bleak.
I wondered why God didn’t show me.
He said, “But you didn’t seek.”
I tried to come into God’s presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
“My child, you didn’t knock.”
I woke up early this morning
And paused before entering the day.
I had so much to accomplish
That I had to take time to pray.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AS A MAN THINKETH

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shall not commit adultery:

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart (Matthew 5:27—28)

In this unforgettable paragraph, Jesus stresses the master truth, so utterly fundamental, yet so unsuspected by the world at large, that what really matters is thought. People have always been accustomed to suppose that as long as their deeds conformed to the law, they have done all that can be reasonably expected of them, and that their thoughts and feelings are their own business. But the type of thought that we allow to become habitual will sooner or later find expression on the plane of action.

The logical consequence of this fact is very startling. It means that if you entertain covetous thoughts for your neighbor’s money, you are a thief, even though you may not yet have put your hand in the till. The adulterer at heart is corrupting his soul even though his impure thought is never expressed on the physical plane. Lust, jealousy, vengeance, mentally entertained, carry the soul’s consent, and this soul-consent is the malice of sin.

Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Answer in the Question

Go to your bosom, knock there and ask your heart what it doth know.

~ from Measure for Measure, by William Shakespeare ~

I am dating two men who have both proposed to me. Which one should I marry?” the woman asked Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, author of the classic book, The Power of Positive Thinking.

“Neither,” he answered in his gravelly voice.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you are not in love with either of them.”

“How do you know?”

“If you were, you wouldn’t be asking me whom to marry; your heart would speak to you directly.”

As divine beings, we contain the knowledge of everything that is right for us. At any moment we can turn within for guidance and discover the next step on the path of our highest good. Others may illuminate the way or remind us of what we already know, but they cannot give us something we do not already have. A consultant is someone who borrows your watch to tell you what time it is. The only thing more valuable than a good consultant is the ability to read your own watch.

Experiment with agreeing to only those activities with which your whole heart resonates. To enter into a venture with half a heart will create half a result. If you have doubts, do not try to override them. Lay them out on the table, and look at them in the light. If you sincerely ask for guidance, the doubts will either reveal themselves to be important factors to be dealt with, or they will dissolve and give way to full participation.

Do it with a full spirit, or do not do it at all.

Thank You for placing the seeds of all wisdom within me. I will look for You in the temple of my own soul.

I turn within for my answers. I know my highest good.