Thanks for shariing, I can identify. My problem was pills (dried-up alcohol), and when I heard people in AA sharing, I couldn't always identify with their drinking stories, but realized I had the same thought when it came to my addiction. I went to AA for my denial and to NA for a short time, for identification. I always knew I was an addict, my drug of choice was always more, no matter what the substance was.
I had an AA sponsor too, she was a heroin addict. She found NA to be a big trigger. NA was new here and didn't have the long-term recovery. I did help get NA started in our local jail, and I love the NA literature, but found AA worked for me. I found myself though in Al-Anon. My father was an alcoholic and my mom died as a direct result of her eating disorder. I was married to an alcoholic and my son is a self-admitted alcoholic/addict (alcohol, pot, crack/cocaine, and pills). I didn't join a NA group until I was 4 years sober. Do what you need to do for yourself and your own recovery.
Many go through treatment and think they are fixed and don't follow it up with a program. I was the only woman in five years who stayed sober after leaving treatment. Some relapsed and went back to AA, but here I am, one day at a time, coming up on 25 years of recovery. I reconnected with a woman who came in the same year as I did. There were 15 of us and at the end of 5 years, 10 of us were still sober. Back then they said, "One in five stay sober." I said, "This is my group of five, you guys have to get another one because I can't go back to where I came from and using is no longer an option. For me to use is to die, whether it is alcohol, food, pills or cigarettes.
As a guy at my group last week reminded me, it isn't 'the' program, it is my program and what works for me. People tend to get regimental. Every thing doesn't work for everyone, the fact being that your drug addiction is part of who you are.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. There is a daily check in where we post each day and can only be seen by members. Perhaps you would like to start your own daily sign in post, or continue here.
As I said to a friend on the phone last night, the substance is but a symptom of our dis--ease, the problem is me. My sponsor said, "Don't call them problems, you can stay stuck in them. Call them challenges, those you can overcome."
I once heard "A simple program for complicated people." There is a lot of good recovery posted on the site in all areas, and the daily readings are bonus!
This reminds me that we can hang ourselves out to dry with no place to go. As they say, "We only get out of recovery what we put into it."
