Quote:
September 09, 2014
Feet of clay
Page 263
"One of the biggest stumbling blocks to recovery seems to be placing unrealistic expectations on... others."
Basic Text p.78
Many of us come into Narcotics Anonymous feeling pretty poorly about ourselves. By comparison, the recovering addicts we meet at meetings may seem almost superhumanly serene. These wise, loving people have many months, even years of living in accordance with spiritual principles, giving of themselves to others without expecting anything back. We trust them, allowing them to love us until we can love ourselves. We expect them to make everything alright again.
Then the glow of early recovery begins to fade, and we start to see the human side of our NA friends and sponsor. Perhaps a fellow member of our home group stands us up for a coffee date, or we see two oldtimers bickering at a committee meeting, or we realize our sponsor has a defect of character or two. We're crushed, disillusioned-these recovering addicts aren't perfect after all! How can we possibly trust them anymore?
Somewhere between "the heroes of recovery" and "the lousy NA bums" lies the truth: Our fellow addicts are neither completely bad nor completely good. After all, if they were perfect, they wouldn't need this program. Our friends and sponsor are ordinary recovering addicts, just like we are. We can relate to their ordinary recovery experience and use it in our own program.
Just for Today: My friends and my sponsor are human, just like me-and I trust their experience all the more for that.
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This is a good lesson. It is one reason why it is not good to put your sponsor on a pedestal. She just might fall off. She has a life. She is human and as much as I liked to think she was, I was not the center of her universe. They work miracles, they believe in them, because they themselves are one, be patient, and allow them to share their experience, strength, and hope with you. What worked for them, may not always work for you, but their guidance, just may guide you in the way that is good for you. She can tell you what not to do. It is up to you whether you believe and listen.