[bluidkiti]

November 4

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. --Sigmund Freud
The truth is our friend. It is a rough and humble kind of friend--but a friend nonetheless. Each of us will need to learn to spend time with this friend because it is one that is not easy to escape. It is always turning up when we least expect it. The truth about ourselves is hard to avoid. It seems to knock at our door until we let it in.
Perhaps we have played the game of hide and seek sometime in our lives. Sometimes we tell little lies about ourselves to impress others, or we act in ways that, deep down, we know are not really the way we want to be. We can never be comfortable this way. We know what it is like to hide and try to keep from being found. The truth about us is an expert player. It seeks us out until we put our arms around it and welcome it.
Is there something I am hiding from today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Much as I long to be out of here, I don't believe a single day has been wasted. What will come out of my time here it is too early to say. But something is bound to come out of it. --Dietrich Bonhoeffer
These words, written by a man imprisoned for standing up against the Nazis, speak to us today about our own lives. We too long for release, and we cannot see where things will lead us. His spirituality is heroic; it inspires us. We do not know just where our lives will lead or what the outcome will be. But we can know our lives are taking us in the right direction. We make our choices today and stand up with all our energy for the honesty and dignity, which this program provides.
We choose to trust life. In each tiny detail of this day we move forward, asserting our faith and seeking to know and do the will of a Power greater than ourselves.
I will open myself to the will of my Higher Power as I move forward on the path, living with my unrevealed future.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Beginnings are apt to be shadowy. --Rachel Carson
When we embark on a new career, open an unfamiliar door, begin a loving relationship, we can seldom see nor can we even anticipate where the experience may take us. At best we can see only what this day brings. We can trust with certainty that we will be safely led through the "shadows."
To make gains in this life we must venture forth to new places, contact new people, chance new experiences. Even though we may be fearful of the new, we must go forward. It's comforting to remember that we never take any step alone. It is our destiny to experience many new beginnings. And a dimension of the growth process is to develop trust that each of these experiences will in time comfort us and offer us the knowledge our inner self awaits. Without the new beginnings we are unable to fulfill the purpose for which we've been created.
No new beginning is more than we can handle. Every new beginning is needed by our developing selves, and we are ready for whatever comes.
I will look to my new beginnings gladly. They are special to the growth I am now ready for.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Anger
Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance.
As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ourselves. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that... If I wouldn't have done that... Why didn't God do it differently?"... We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility and personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender and self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming.
It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance. To not allow others, or ourselves, to go through anger and blame may slow down the grief process.
Trust the grief process and ourselves. We won't stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.
God, help me learn to accept my own and others' anger as a normal part of achieving acceptance and peace. Within that framework, help me strive for personal accountability.


I speak from my own truth today. I come from a place of love or I say nothing at all. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey to the Heart
November 4
Move On To Joy

Are you willing to be here in constant, abject pain one minute longer? I’m not. Are you willing to be here suffering endlessly and needlessly through distressing situations– worrying, fussing, fretting about things you can do nothing about? I’m not. And we don’t have to be.

We’re here to feel joy and absorb all of life’s beauty we can. If pain comes, let it pass quickly through. Then move on to joy.

It’s a conscious choice.

*****

more language of letting go
Let yourself be uncomfortable

"It seems as though everything you do for fun terrifies you," my friend Andy said to me one day. "What's that about?"

I thought about his question. It was true. Flying scared me. Jumping out of that airplane for the first time was a terrifying prospect. I wasn't comfortable at all. I started hyperventilating and thought I was having a heart attack, at first.

The first day I decided to be sober and clean and not use alcohol and drugs anymore, I was faced with changing my entire life. The prospect of starting this new life scared me to death.

The day my divorce from the children's father was finalized, I was exhilarated for one moment, then I was terrified. I had an anxiety attack and called 911.

I was paralyzed with fear the first day I sat at my cubicle at the newspaper office staring at the blank screen while the deadline for the front-page story I'd been assigned was only two hours away.

"It's not that I'm an adrenaline junkie," I said to my friend. "At least the issue isn't entirely that. It's that everything new and worthwhile I've ever done on my path has required me to be uncomfortable and sometimes downright scared for a while. I've had to walk through a wall of fear."

I enjoyed creating a comfortable place to live with downfilled sofas and beds that make me feel like I'm sleeping in the clouds. Learning to relax and learning to identify what makes us comfortable is an important part of learning to take good care of ourselves.

But sometimes we need to leave that nice, comfy, cozy place.

"I can't do this. I'm not comfortable," I'd say time and time again to my flight instructor Rob as he insisted that I take the controls of the plane.

"Yes, you can," he'd say, not feeding into my fear. "Just breathe. And relax."

Sometimes fear is a good thing. It warns us of real dangers and imminent threats. It tells us "don't do that" or "stay away."

Sometimes afraid and uncomfortable is just how we're feeling because we're learning something new. Relax. Breathe deeply. Do it-- whatever it is-- anyway. You're supposed to feel that way.

Is your fear based on an intuitive feeling of self-protection or something new and unknown? If your fear isn't based on a legitimate intuitive threat, then get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

Walk through your wall of fear.

Do the thing that scares you. Grow. Then check your fear and do it again.

God, teach me to overcome my fears. Help me mature by becoming comfortable with this discomfort of growth.

*****

Plunging Into The Deep
Life Can Be Scary

Life can take us on a roller coaster ride full of highs and lows and twists and turns. Even for those of us who enjoy unexpected thrills, it’s frightening to suddenly find ourselves heading for a deep plunge. Yet, it happens to all of us. At these moments, it is important to remember that you are not alone in your experiences. No matter how brave, strong, or levelheaded we are, sometimes, we all get scared.

Our fears may revolve around our physical safety, particularly if we are not feeling well, living under difficult circumstances, or doing work that exposes us to hazardous conditions. Or, we may be experiencing financial woes that are causing us to be fearful about making ends meet. We may also fear the loss of a loved one who is sick, or we may be scared of never finding someone special to spend our life with. We may be scared to start at a new school, begin a different job, move to a new town, or meet new people. Whatever our fears are, they are valid, and we do not need to feel ashamed or embarrassed that we are, at times, afraid.

It may be comforting to know that everyone gets scared, and it is perfectly OK. Sometimes just acknowledging our fears is enough to make us feel better. And while it sometimes takes a lot more to ease our mind, we can console ourselves with the knowledge that life can be scary at times. Giving ourselves permission to be scared lets us move through our fears so we can let it go. It also makes it alright to share our fears with others. Sharing our apprehensions with other people can make our fears less overwhelming because we are not letting them grow inside of us as pent up emotions. Sharing our fears also can lighten our burden because we are not carrying our worries all by ourselves. Remember that you are not alone. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
November 4

Reflection For The Day

Were taught in The Program that debate has no place in meditation. In a quiet place and time of our own choosing, we simply dwell on spiritual matters to the best of our capability, seeking only to experience and learning. We strive for a state of being which, hopefully, deepens our conscious contact with God. We pray not for things, but essentially for knowledge and power. If you knew what God wanted you to do, you would be happy. you are doing what God wants you to do, so be happy.

Today I Pray

May I find my own best way to God, my own best technique of meditation – whether I use the oriental mantra, substitute the name of Jesus Christ, or just allow the spirit of God, as I understand Him, to settle into me and give me peace. By whatever means I discover my God, may I learn to know Him well and feel His presence — not only at these quiet times, but in everything I do.

Today I Will Remember

Meditation is opening myself to the spirit of God.

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One More Day
November 4

You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
– Albert Camus

Who among us hasn’t wanted to play with or read to a pleading child? Who hasn’t thought of volunteering some time so others — and we — could have happier and richer lives? We may have put off or refused these opportunities because we felt overwhelmed by the limitations of a chronic illness. Perhaps we felt like victims who had lost an essential power to control our lives.

Our days are increasingly better when we understand that all experience, good and bad, isn’t orchestrated by us — and it never was. Yet this doesn’t mean we are helpless. We now see choices and chances to let our actions be positive life-affirming statements. We see opportunities for sharing, for joining in, and for reaching out. And we take them.

I will concentrate on making good choices, not just easy choices.