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April 13

Step by Step

Today, I detach to be objective and see and accept myself for what I am and not what I hope I am. Because I am asked by AA to work through my emotional and character defects, I must first see them honestly before I can correct them. Here, I look to Step 4 to identify those flaws and, instead of rationalizing or justifying them, I have to see and accept them for what they are – defects that I cannot afford to carry into recovery. And, after reviewing my Fourth, I must look to the Serenity Prayer for the “courage to change the things I can.” Today, when I look in a mirror, I need to see the man in it. I won’t see him if I look at him through rose-colored glasses. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

COURAGE

God, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can’t handle.

~ Anonymous ~

Courage is what makes us do the right thing even when nobody else is doing it. We can find happiness while surrounded by darkness; we can be loving in the middle of hate and envy, and serene when surrounded by chaos, fear, and anger.

The principles of our Program help us face impossible odds. We learn that any act of courage may produce future victory for ourselves and others. The courage which we want takes its strength from faith, not from bravery or physical strength.

Foolish, unthinking courage, though, can be destructive to us or to others. Sensible courage never fails because it is made up of truth and faith.

Let truth and faith give me courage, so that when fear knocks, no one is there.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

~ Coco Chanel ~

Why are we working so hard? What are we striving to-ward? Do we want to achieve some important accomplishment, or do we want to be someone we respect? Naturally we don’t have just one aim. We have many goals and hopes, but what are the most important ones?

When we focus on becoming the best kind of person we know how to be, we leave behind all our anxieties about how well we can perform. We still need to accomplish tasks and do our work, but the important thing now is the kind of person we are while we are doing them. Are we honest? Are we considerate of others? Is our heart open to the world? Do we take responsibility for our actions? When we fulfill the personal qualities that we admire, we can allow our-selves some slack for mistakes and imperfection in our achievements.

Today I am grateful that I am becoming someone I respect.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The child in me says “Hold on”; the adult in me says “Let go.”

~ Harriet Hodgson ~

Learning to let go is growing up. Whether we’re twenty-five or sixty-five, we have to learn to let go. We don’t do it automatically. The principles of this program can serve as our guide.

Perhaps we learned in childhood that if we didn’t want to lose our toys, we had to hold on to them. A pattern was set; we began hanging on to everything. But now it’s time for new training, for learning to let go of everything: possessions, people, attitudes, opinions. Patience and practice accomplish the growth we seek.

We must be prepared for backsliding. Some situations cry for us to hold on rather than let go. We have to be vigilant and forgive ourselves when we give in to the old urge to control. Being adult takes desire and consistent effort. The child in us doesn’t give in easily.

I have a choice today. I can handle all circumstances as an adult and feel free, or my “child” can trigger a confrontation. What will I do?

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am trying to accept my medication.

I’m not yet comfortable with my psychiatric medications. But I don’t know which is worse—feeling sad and anxious without the medication or feeling out of touch, thirsty, and constipated due to the side effects. It seems that there are problems either way. I guess I thought the medication would just take care of everything.

So my doctor and I talked again about the side effects. We also talked about how this medication helps—much like a pair of eyeglasses—but does not cure, and how I still have to do my part to recover. I trust my doctor. Working together with her, I believe that slowly, things will improve all around.

I will ask my higher power for willingness and for patience.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Great opportunities to serve God are rare, little opportunities happen every day.

~ Anonymous ~

We often read or hear about people who have made major contributions to the well-being of others. Some donate large sums of money to build schools or hospitals. Others perform acts of great heroism or skill in saving others’ lives. If only we could do one of these things! If only a great opportunity presented itself so the world could see we really do care.

The problem with waiting for “The Great Opportunity” is that it may never come. And even if it did, the desire to perform great acts often has its roots in a large ego, not a large heart!

If we really want to serve God and others, there are opportunities every day. Like giving a genuine compliment to someone, or offering to take someone to or from a meeting if they otherwise can’t go, or some small kindness to a stranger.

We don’t need to wait for a great opportunity. Serving others in little, everyday ways can bring great joy.

Today may I be willing, in attitude and action, to reach out and help others, as I continue to help myself and accept help from others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.

~ Harrison Ford ~

Imagine you have a map in your hands, one you have used to guide you through the years. It shows all of your old routes of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Recovery provides you with a new map, with an un-familiar destination and different routes. Rather than discard your old map, you may still bring it out from time to time and think how much easier it would be to follow. But until you set forth on the course provided by the new map, you will never know what opportunities await you. You will never understand that your new destination may be more promising and enjoyable than the old one.

Take, for example, the story of Jill Elikann Barad. She wanted to be a surgeon, but fainted her first time in the operating room. After wandering from job to job, she ended up at Mattel where she refashioned a toy that had seen better days. She recreated Barbie and ended up president of the company. “The idea of trying everything is important,” she said. “Your experiences come together and make you multidimensional.” When you change your map, you change yourself and transform your world into something better.

Today I will trust the map of recovery to guide me in all that I do.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

~ Thomas Jefferson ~

We see our true selves when we don’t resculpt our bodies, change the style of our hair, or try to imagine someone else instead of us. If we see ourselves as we honestly are, then we will see the imperfections that make us who we are: perhaps too much weight or not enough, a not-so-clear complexion, or being too short or tall. We will never look the way we really want because our desires are usually impossible to attain. We can certainly make some changes, but we need to learn to see an honest picture of ourselves.

The first step to get to know who we are is to know what we look like. We can start by taking off our clothes and standing naked in front of a mirror. That’s us, no matter how much we may want to look away or cry or laugh out loud. We may wish that wasn’t what we looked like, but that’s because we’ve learned to look at others rather than ourselves. We can take the first step toward wisdom and maturity by seeing our honest reflection, and accepting it.

I will gather up courage to really look at my reflection. I will accept the good as well as the bad.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Growing

We all perform on two stages, one public, one private. The public stage is what we do and say. The private stage is what we think and what we rehearse in our minds to do on the public stage. Even though we may never perform it, what we rehearse in our minds helps mold our characters and guide our actions.

Are we rehearsing anger, fights, and what we’re going to tell that SOB next time? Are we rehearsing drug use, the old ways of living? If so, we are risking the recovery we have achieved.

To keep growing and to keep building character, we need to rehearse kindness, patience, and love. We need to practice aware-ness of our Higher Power in our lives.

Am I growing?

May I practice kindness, patience, and love in all my affairs today.

Today I will seek to grow by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Creating intimacy is a skill.

~ LAUREL MELLIN ~

Newcomer

The so-called suggestion not to have relationships in the first year makes me angry. The rest of the world falls in love, and people get together. Why can’t I?

Sponsor

Let’s remember that there are many, many kinds of relationships, including friendships, professional relationships, and relationships like ours, the sponsor-sponsee relationship. All of them offer valuable experience and practice at something we addicts don’t know much about: the gradual process, over time, of sharing ourselves with fellow human beings.

As a newly recovering person, you still have a lot to learn about yourself. Why rush the process? The person you are today and the person you will be after several months in recovery may not have much in common. You may quickly outgrow a romantic relationship that you enter into this early in your journey. Other newcomers, like you, are involved in a revolutionary process of growth and change. If you risk getting involved with a newcomer, you may find yourself unceremoniously dumped or vulnerable to the person’s unreasonable demands or unthinking behavior. Instead, you can choose to allow yourself a luxury during these early months—that of creating a sensitive, loving relationship with yourself.

Today, I cherish my new, growing relationship with myself. I look and listen lovingly to my needs and wants.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many persons look upon AA as something new and revolutionary whereas it is just the reverse. We have no new thoughts or doctrines and we have certainly discovered no new cures.

Our medications are those administered two thousand years ago. Our philosophies were borrowed, not word for word but in substance, from the Great Book our mothers read to us as children.

While science experimented for new and certain cures, we dug out the old but still potent prescription and administered it with sympathy and understanding. We can attest to the fact that it still works.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) What the devil presents to you is always a real pretty picture. But there is always one hellava price to pay.

2) Share with your sponsor the “take it to the grave” stuff.

3) Life sucks! (But in NA, life sucks one day at a time).

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Meeting Prayer No. 1

Our Father, we come to you as a friend.

You have said that, where two or three are gathered in Your name, there You will be in the midst. We believe you are with us now.

We believe this is something You would have us do, and that it has Your blessing.

We believe You want us to be real partners with you in this daily business of living, accepting our full responsibility, and certain that the rewards will be freedom, and growth, and happiness.

For this, we are grateful.

We ask You, at all times, to guide us.

Help us daily to come closer to you, and grant us new ways of living our gratitude.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

GET BACK ON THE BEAM

Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way. As soon as he gets off the beam in any direction he is in danger, and he immediately rises to get back on the beam.

Those who believe in the Allness of God, have a spiritual beam upon which to navigate.

You are off the beam the moment you are angry or resentful or jealous or frightened or depressed; and when such a condition arises you should immediately get back on the beam by turning quietly to God in thought, claiming His Presence, claiming that His Love and Intelligence are with you, and that the promises in the Bible are true today. You are back on the beam and you will reach port in safety.

Keep on the beam and nothing shall by any means hurt you.

For this God is our God for ever and ever. He will be our guide even unto death (Psalm 48:14)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Active Ingredient

Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels and have not love, I am a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal.

~ Corinthians 13:1 ~

Have you ever read the list of ingredients on a tube of toothpaste or patent medicine? There is usually a long roll of chemicals, colorings, and additives, followed by bold letters: “Active Ingredient”—the one that really gets the job done and makes the item worth buying. Everything else is a filler or enhancer. Without the active ingredient, the stuff would be useless.

Love is the active ingredient of life, the chemical that makes everything else worthwhile. You can have all the other amenities, but if love is absent, you are lost. You can feel victimized or abandoned, but if you add love, suddenly life has meaning again.

I met a woman who owned a booming ski resort. “I have done very well financially for many years,” she told me. “But lately I have felt bored and irritable; my life and job seem to have no meaning. I meditated on my situation, and the answer that came was ‘more caring.’ I realized that my work had become distasteful because I had gotten caught up in the mechanics rather than the essence, which is taking care of people. So I rededicated myself to making my clients happy, regardless of the financial outcome. I even found ways I could reduce rates. Now my work is a delight, and I am even more successful.”

Have you retained the active ingredient, or has it slipped away? If so, ask yourself how your work, relationships, or spiritual path could be enhanced by bringing more heart to them. Rearrange your priorities to give care first, and all else will follow.

Show me how to truly care, that I may bring Your peace to my daily activities.

Love is my function. I am a servant of the heart.