Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 27

Step by Step

Today, the first word in hopelessness is hope; the first word in helplessness is help; the first word in senselessness is sense; the first word in powerlessness is power. Within insanity is sanity; within fear, fearlessness; within pain, strength; within anger, reconciliation. This is our Program: from hopelessness to hope; from helplessness, help; from senselessness, sense; from powerlessness, power; from insanity, sanity; from fear, courage; from pain, strength; from anger, forgiveness. And from them – recovery. It’s that simple. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

The best way to escape from your problem is to solve it.

~ ROBERT ANTHONY ~

Relationships challenge me. For years I have isolated myself from others, although I was not too aware that I did. I even appeared smooth and lively, at times the life of the party.

Inside, I was often dying to escape, to get away from all these people. An inner pressure would build up in me that made me just want to run away to be alone. Lately, that inner pressure seems less extreme. When it is building up, I try to stop my thoughts and figure out what is bothering me. If I am honest, I can usually find the source of my tension. Just recognizing the real problem seems to reduce its power for me.

If I am uncomfortable at this moment, do not be concerned. In a little while I will be okay. If I use nicotine, I will not be any better off, but I may well wind up enslaved again for the rest of my days.

I may push people away from me just because I want them so much I cannot stand the tension. I may want their approval, or fear their anger, or need their attention.

Today, if I feel pressure, I will stop and determine the source of my discomfort. Then I will he prepared to address that need.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RELATIONSHIPS

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.

~ Ursula K. LeGuin ~

We all probably believe our recovery Program will give us new chances to form relationships. This maybe frightening to us because our experience with intimate friendships has been pretty rocky. They have been a source of much pain and misery for many of us. We have only to look around to see that for most people relationships are not easy.

When we work our Steps, we discover how much shame, guilt, pity, and anger we had for ourselves and our partners. We had invested enormous amounts of time, energy, and personal resources in those relationships. The Program has revealed a need to completely overhaul our attitudes about intimate and personal relations.

The Program has helped me be a better partner in a relationship. Most of the time I never really needed better partners. I just needed to be a better person.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

One of the goals of spiritual practice is to make conscious what was previously unconscious.

~ Dan Millman ~

We find as we proceed with our recovery that commitment to honesty reveals more to ourselves than to anyone else. We begin by taking the advice of our program to be honest with others as well as ourselves. To our surprise, we realize how much we had hidden from even ourselves. It’s called denial. We sincerely missed seeing the elephant that was walking around in the living room. We honestly didn’t see what we didn’t want to see.

Spiritual practice teaches us to yield to the guidance of our Higher Power and to stop controlling. When we yield in that way and when we are willing to see the truth, we feel that we have awakened. We are amazed at what we now see.

Today I am grateful for my spiritual awakening and for the truth it allows me to see.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

A crisis is only a turning point.

~ Anne Lindthorst ~

The sting is removed from a crisis when we accept it as a turning point. Our lives have been full of turning points. A moment’s reflection brings to mind crises that moved us to far better places. For instance, we may not have counted on finding sobriety and this program of recovery, but a significant crisis delivered us here.

Because we remember how frightening a crisis can be, let’s make an effort to help our sisters gain a healthier perspective on the turning points in their lives. When we’re in a rocking boat, it’s not easy to remember that a storm ushers in clear skies. Sharing this information with our struggling sisters keeps us from forgetting it too.

With enough faith, we can look forward to the lessons and growth experiences life offers. We’ll never doubt their contribution to our developing nature.

I need not fear a troubling situation today. It is offering me a lesson I am ready to learn.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I try to accept people who don’t accept me

My dual disorder is a difficult, awkward, and troublesome pair of illnesses. Some people don’t think I’m really sick. Others do think I’m sick and avoid me. Either way I can feel rejected, defensive, and ashamed.

But I know the nature and significance of my illnesses and I am learning to manage them. I suppose it’s not surprising that some people wouldn’t understand or accept me and my particular set of problems. But these people do not live or make choices about my life—I do. And I am happier and healthier when I choose how much their opinions will affect me.

I will get support when I feel stigmatized and then concentrate on working my dual recovery plan.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

My friend, this body offers to carry us for nothing — as the ocean carries logs.

~ Robert Bly ~

Our bodies have silently endured the abuse of our addiction and withdrawal. They have faithfully carried us to the point we’re at now, and have showed us a willingness to heal. Now it’s time for us to repay our bodies.

The body is very honest in asking for what it needs. When it needs food or rest, it tells us. But sometimes we don’t listen very well and we suffer the consequences. If we store up anger or stress, we are likely to get sick. If we abuse ourselves physically, we’ll suffer injury or chronic pain.

By listening carefully to our physical selves, and lovingly giving rest, play, and nourishment, we keep ourselves healthy enough to continue growing in recovery. Even though it’s easy to take our bodies for granted, we must not. The physical self is our house in this life; it is our communication system, our transportation, our temple of prayer, and our means of physical pleasure. The way to find balance in our new life is through letting our bodies participate fully in recovery, just as we let our minds and spirits.

Today may I express my gratitude for my body by some loving attention to it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Morning is when the wick is lit. Aflame is ignited, the day delighted with heat and light, we start to fight for something more than before.

~ Jeb Dickerson ~

Most addicts consider themselves to be night owls rather than early birds. Even if you were an early riser when you used, you most likely woke up hungover or spent the morning working at half-speed as you tried to clear the fog in your brain.

As your body frees itself from the restraints imposed by addiction, you may find that you greet the morning in a whole different way. If you are not naturally an early riser, you can become one. Train yourself to awaken earlier in the morning by going to bed a few minutes earlier each night. Use the increased amount of time you have in the morning to exercise, meditate, prepare a healthy breakfast, or spend time with your children. You can also use this extra time in the morning to go into work and catch up with e-mails, prepare for meetings, or even take on extra responsibilities.

In the evening, set aside some time to prepare for the next day so you will be able to arise and start your day with direction and purpose. Over time, you may discover that what once was your least favorite time of day becomes your favorite time.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.

~ Edward Bulwer-Lytton ~

The violin virtuoso whose concerts are sold-out has spent innumerable hours of practice to achieve such fame. That person wouldn’t think of inviting the public to a practice session because of the flaws they might hear.

We aren’t virtuosos, yet we’re always on view to the public. Everyone gets to see our good performances as well as our bad. Because of this, we may often struggle with impatience and disappointment in our striving to “look good” in front of others.

Yet we’re all struggling in front of one another. Just as others see our imperfections, so do we see theirs. None of us are virtuosos in life. To become skilled in living, we need to live One Day at a Time and learn as we go.

I don’t need to strive for perfection and skill. I can just be myself in front of people. 

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Following our guide

The biggest danger for us is delusion. A delusion, once started, is unable to check itself. When we’re no longer honest with ourselves, we lose sight of what is good for us.

But our knowing Guide will help us when we wander. If we’re caught up in the midst of our delusion, at first we may ignore our Higher Power’s lead. But a sincere request will always bring our Guide to our aid.

Do I follow my true Guide?

May I find the wisdom to call upon my Guide whenever I get caught up in my delusions.

Today I will check myself for delusions by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be all that I am capable of becoming . . . This all sounds very strenuous and serious. But now that I have wrestled with it, it’s no longer so. I feel happy—deep down. All is well.

~ KATHERINE MANSFIELD ~

Newcomer

There are still days when I rebel against recovery—not by using, not even by skipping a meeting, but just by bringing a negative, rebellious attitude. More often, though, I’ve begun to sense the awesomeness of the journey I’ve undertaken. It’s then that I experience recovery as a miracle, and I feel at peace.

Sponsor

Life doesn’t have to be a bed of roses for us to feel happy. Our happiness comes, not from external circumstances, but from a place deep in ourselves. Self-knowledge and self- acceptance are growing inside us, strengthening the core of our being. As people sharing the experience of recovery, we have the chance to return over and over to the sense of the miraculous. I sometimes think, “By rights, I shouldn’t even be here. My addiction eventually would have killed me, if I hadn’t quit.” I’m flooded with a sense of the mystery of recovery and of gratitude for this second chance at life.

In recovery, we have the opportunity to discover and fulfill our Higher Power’s purpose for us. We know that it has something to do with caring for ourselves and others, with giving service and being the best that we can be.

Today, whatever is happening on the outside, I sense that all is well.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The average person has so much trouble in finding a satisfactory faith simply because the mind has difficulty visualizing a force so powerful as anything but a very complex thing. He thinks he must understand it in order to acquire it and use it.

When we eat a meal we believe that we shall digest it and that we will be strengthened and sustained by it. Yet few of us know the mysteries of the digestive functions, but we get just as much sustenance from our meals as those who do.

We therefore eat our meals on faith and we would probably ruin our digestion if we tried to figure it out.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Heal(ing): Your sick mind cannot heal your sick mind.

2) Opportunity: Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer and the 12 Step program is an equal opportunity restorer.

3) Simple: Most good ideas are simple.

by Shelly Marshall

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

That Great Purpose
<>Keep making progress in your Twelve Step recovery.
Let your aim be as steady as a star.
Let the world battle and stress.
You may be assaulted, hassled,
insulted, slandered, wounded, and rejected. <>

You may be chased by enemies,
abused by them, forgotten by friends,
hated and rejected by others, but see to it
that with steady determination
and with unfaltering devotion,
you pursue that great purpose of your life
and the object of your being
until at last you can say:
“I have finished the work which You,
dear God, have given me to do.”

~ Adapted, author unknown ~

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TRAINING YOUR THOUGHTS

Thought is the real causative force in life, and there is no other. You cannot have one kind of mind and another kind of environment. You cannot change your environment while leaving your mind unchanged. This is the real key to life; if you change your mind your conditions must change too—your body must change, your activities must change; your home must change; the color-tone of your whole life must change.

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind . . . (Romans 12:2).

This may be called the Great Cosmic Law. The practical difficulty in applying it arises from the fact that our thoughts are so close to us that it is difficult, without a little practice, to stand back and look at them objectively. Yet that is just what you must learn to do. You must train yourself to choose the subject of your thinking at any given time, and also to choose the emotional tone.

If you are not determined to start in now and carefully select all day the kind of thoughts that you are going to think, you may as well give up all hope of shaping your life into the kind of thing that you want it to be. The way to start on a seven-day mental diet is to begin now. 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Just Show Up

Do whatever comes your way to do as well as you can. Think as little as possible about yourself and as much as possible about other people…put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give.

~ Eleanor Roosevelt ~

Shortly after my mother passed away I was invited to present a seminar in Philadelphia. At the time, my fee was 50 percent of the income, with a minimum of $500. Since this was a small group, I quoted a flat rate of $500. When I received a flyer for the event, I saw that the ticket price had been set at $25, rather than the usual $15.

That’s too high! I thought. No one will come at that price. As I dialed the sponsor’s number, however, an inner voice stopped me, advising, “Don’t try to boss the finances; just let it be.” When the sponsor later told me that 50 people had signed up for the program, I wondered if I had made a mistake in asking only for the base fee rather than the percentage. A week later, 75 people had registered; now I regretted not negotiating my regular deal. I was tempted to ask the sponsor if she would be willing to go 50-50, but once again the inner voice said, “Let it be. Your job is to show up, offer love and healing to everyone, and let Spirit handle the finances.”

The night of the seminar, I watched in awe as 135 people filed into the room. Again, I had to overcome my temptation to regret or renegotiate. When the time came for the sponsor to write me a check, she told me, “Since we had such a good turnout, I think it’s only fair that we go 50-50 on the profit,” and she wrote me a check for $1,100, the highest income I had earned to that date. The next day, I received my mom’s final doctor bill for…$1,100!

In spite of all the meandering of my mind and emotions, Spirit was running that event all the while. Spirit knew how much to charge and who to send. The only voice worth hearing was the one that advised me to just show up and give love.

I pray to remember my true purpose as a giver of peace and healing.

I am here to be a blessing. I trust Spirit to handle the details.