Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - December

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December 26

Step by Step

“When I try to reconstruct what my life was ‘before,’ I see a coin with two faces.
“One, the side I turned to myself and the world, was respectable …

“The other side …was sinister, baffling. I was inwardly unhappy most of the time. There would be times when the life of respectability and achievement seemed insufferably dull – I had to break out. This I would do by going completely ‘bohemian’ for a night, getting drunk and rolling home with the dawn. Next day remorse would be on me like a tiger. I’d claw my way back to ‘respectability’ and stay there – until the inevitable next time.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 432.

Today, faith and security in recovery to know that there does not have to be “the inevitable next time.” AA encourages us to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of alcoholism, and I am in the latter if my focus is on fighting off “the inevitable next time.” The threat of a “next time” is weakened if I practice with diligence and integrity the program’s steps and principles and accept intuitively that drinking now, for me, is a choice and that I will be held responsible to the consequences of that choice. Today, “the inevitable next time” may be less so if I stick to the program and the understanding that I have a choice and the choice I make will have consequences. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ A YEAR OF MIRACLES ~ (Meditations Written by Members of Nicotine Anonymous) ~

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.

~ WILLIAM CONNOR MAGEE ~

As a newcomer I was so terrified of what Nicotine Anonymous members would think of me if I “did something wrong.” But no matter what I did or said, all they had in response was a warm, friendly, “keep coming back.”

I keep myself miserable by my fear of making mistakes. Since I have learned to love myself, right or wrong, I make a lot more mistakes than ever before, and I have a lot more successes.

Today, I know that I never fail when I give my best effort.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ABILITY

We came to the Program to stop our addiction. What we found was a way to start living.

~ Anonymous ~

We all have within ourselves the ability to maintain recovery. To begin with, all that was needed was a desire to stop. Most of us, before admitting our powerlessness, were possessed by the fear that we were helpless and hopeless. We had tried to quit many times and always failed.

For years, addictions were considered the stamp of doom. It was true that addicts were incurable, but wise men and women kept crying out that obsessions could be arrested. The ability to keep winning is within all of us who have faith and belief that we can. Recovery is a constant challenge for us all. Those who accept the challenge have discovered that the Program is simple, but not always easy. Ability always follows surrender to reality.

With the strength provided by the Fellowship, my sponsor, and my Higher Power, I know I have the ability to maintain recovery.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself he becomes wise.

~ Alden Nowlan ~

Facing up to our wrongs is a foundation stone in our recovery. We have been contending with imperfection since the day we were born, both in ourselves and in others. Forgiveness is central to this whole process. When we admit that we have made a mistake, we affirm our belief in our values at the same time. Nothing is more honorable than saying that we hold a value and admitting that we fell short of it. That guilt is the pathway back to repair and forgiveness.

Shame is a dead-end emotion in which forgiveness doesn’t seem possible. In our recovery we are turning shame into guilt, making repair where it is possible and accepting forgiveness or forgiving ourselves. For many men, accepting forgiveness from ourselves or others is the hardest thing to do. It takes true humility to receive forgiveness because we are admitting that we are imperfect like everyone else; to defy the forgiveness that is available to us is arrogant.

Today I will try to forgive myself for the ways I have violated my own values.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We need to let the old go, so the new can emerge.

~ Peggy Bassett ~

When we first entered the program, we heard the saying “One door must close before another can open.” That baffled us, even while it gave us comfort. It helped that women we looked up to found solace in the slogan. Their experiences, shared in the meetings, taught us understanding. Each time we fought against a changing condition, someone we admired was able to remind us of its value.

Now we are the truth-bearers for the newcomers. Over time we have come to believe that every experience has special meaning. When something new begins to tap us on the shoulder, that’s our cue to let something else go. Newcomers need our demonstration of how it works. No doubt, before this day or this week has passed, we’ll each have an opportunity to close one door and open another. Let’s make sure we share what we learn with someone else.

I am someone’s teacher today. I will not fight circumstances that are changing, but accept that their passing is my opportunity.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I don’t have to go it alone

I had no idea how much emotional and spiritual pain I was in. I knew I felt depressed about my life—and I knew I was staying high a lot of the time—but I couldn’t see my basic problems. I was just trying to manage on my own despite the problems the drugs were causing at work and at home.

One day I woke up and realized I could no longer manage on my own—I admitted to myself that between drugs and my moods, I had a serious problem. Later, I admitted it to a trusted friend. After a period of painful soul- searching, eventually I found a Twelve Step meeting, then a therapist, and finally a sponsor. Together, they have changed my life. In recovery, I have found relief. I will no longer go it alone.

This week I will thank my helpers and I will practice being open about my feelings.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

~ Edward Everett Hale ~

We once heard someone say, “Knowing doesn’t keep you sober, doing does.” We got the point. Our actions, not strictly our knowledge, will help us stay sober.
Recovery is a program of action, of doing something that will contribute to our recovery today.

All the knowledge in the world won’t help us recover if we don’t use what we’ve learned. Like good intentions, knowledge is only the beginning. Next, we must do — and not do — the things we’ve learned will help us make progress in recovery.

It’s up to us to put the Steps to work in our lives today. We are responsible for eating right and exercising, going to meetings, finding a Higher Power, and praying or meditating to continually strengthen our spiritual lives.

Knowing what we must do is a good first step. Putting that knowledge into action, one day at a time, will bring us the joys of real recovery and a new life.

Today I pray that, through Your power, I have what I need to take action for my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, “Why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.

~ Author unknown ~

A millionaire wanted his son to understand that the world was made up of those who had great happiness in the world because they never wanted for anything, and those who lived in unhappiness because their struggles were never-ending. He asked one of his lowest-paid workers if his son could stay for a weekend, and the employee agreed.

When the weekend was over, the millionaire picked up his son. On the way home he asked his son, “What did you learn about how others live?”

“A lot,” the boy replied as he sat with his shoulders slumped. “We have a dog, but they have three dogs and a couple of cats. They even have chickens and ducks and a donkey. We have a swimming pool, but they have this great big lake. We have a deck, but they have a back yard that stretches for miles and miles. And at dinner, they all sit around a table and laugh and talk together.”

The millionaire sat in silence, listening to his son.

“I guess the lesson I learned, Dad, is how poor we really are.”

Rather than rue what I do not have, I will be happy for all that I have been given.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Without prayer, I should have been a lunatic long ago.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

How can we make our prayers more satisfying and fulfilling? One of the best ways is to see and hear ourselves as we pray, as if we were getting a bird’s-eye view of what we look like and how we sound when we pray.

Seeing from above in this objective way gives a good overview of the strength and the meaning of our prayers. Are we whining and fidgeting as we pray? Maybe we aren’t really praying but instead are asking to get our way. Do we sound angry, with fists clenched? Maybe we need to work on letting go first before we pray.

This is how our Higher Power sees and hears us. Our Higher Power know which prayers are serious, meaningful conversations and which are filled with self-pity, resentment, and anger. Tonight we can hear ourselves pray and learn whether we are truly praying or merely taking time for self-centered feelings.

Before I pray tonight, let me run through the things I want to say. Help me keep self-centered feelings at a minimum and true sharing and communication at a maximum.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working today

As we approach a new year, many of us feel fear. We look back on the past and worry about the future. But if we remember we only have today, we can work to make that future better. We have found true friends in our fellowship, and this is a time to be with them.

Am I ensuring a fruitful future by working with all I’ve got today?

Higher Power, I pray for guidance for today and for freedom from worry about tomorrow.

Today I will work for the fellowship by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere.

~ ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH ~

Newcomer

I heard someone sharing about a rather extreme situation. She complained that no one had time to listen to her. I gave her my phone number, and at first, I didn’t mind the calls. But every time I suggested a meeting or program tool, she objected: she’d tried everything and had a complaint about everyone. She calls every day now, and I’m always the one to end the conversation. It’s too much for me, but I don’t want to let her down—she’s had too many disappointments.

Sponsor

Our desire to be helpful sometimes backfires. When we’re motivated by a need to rescue people, we may present our-selves as more available and able to give help than we really are. When I find that I’m more concerned about someone’s growth in recovery than he himself is, I know I’ve gone beyond the boundaries of appropriate program support.

Part of my work in recovery is learning to accept my limitations. Though some people in the fellowship present their problems to be solved, I recognize that I cannot provide solutions; I can only listen and offer support as others go through the process of finding their own solutions. If people aren’t using the tools of the program, offering myself as a substitute actually hinders their recovery. This practice is called “enabling” because it allows others to keep on repeating addictive patterns without challenging themselves. Honesty demands that we withdraw from enabling situations. Recognizing our limits and acknowledging them is essential.

Today, I don’t block others in their search for solutions by trying to be the solution.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

As we alcoholics are selfish by nature it is but right and proper that, we should be more severe in our judgments of ourselves than of others. As we are our own best friend or our worst enemy, depending upon our treatment of ourselves, and as we are the one person in the world from whom we cannot escape, it is therefore essential that we do not allow ourselves to get away with anything in our treatment of ourselves. When we forgive ourselves we are rationalizing, but to forgive others is divine.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) MISQUOTED SLOGANS: Oozie does it.

2) Al-Anon: Mind Your Own Business

3) Drink(ing,): Go to enough meetings and you still may not stop drinking; your drinking, however, will be ruined.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Always Remember

There is no growth without pain (pain is not optional), so hurt a little bit.

There is no laughter without tears, so cry often. (Don’t be ashamed to cry, for if you don’t, you will be ever secure but always lonely.)

There is no peace without first knowing turmoil in the soul, so be at war with yourself sometimes.

There is no grace without first wrestling with guilt. If you are wrestling, let God’s grace surround you and give you new life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE SEVEN-DAY MENTAL DIET

The subject of diet is one of the foremost topics of the present day in public interest. Newspapers and magazines teem with articles and book shops are filled with volumes unfolding the mysteries of proteins and vitamins. Experts are saying that you become the thing you eat. This is perfectly true, as far as it goes, but I am going to deal with the subject of dieting at a level infinitely more profound and far-reaching in its effects—mental dieting.

The food you furnish your mind determines the character of your life. The subjects that you allow your mind to dwell upon, make your surroundings what they are. As thy days, so shall thy strength be (Deuteronomy 33:25), which in modern language may be translated “as thy thoughts so shall thy life be.”

Everything in your life today—the state of your body, the state of your fortune, the state of your home, the present condition of every phase of your life—is entirely conditioned by the habitual tone of your past thinking. And the condition of your life next week, and next year, will be conditioned by the thoughts and feelings that you entertain from now onward. In other words, you choose your life. 

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

God Is in Charge

Better to rely on one powerful king than on many little princes.

~ Jean de La Fontaine ~

After my apartment tenant left on short notice, I was not having success in finding a suitable replacement. Several prospective tenants answered my ad, but I did not feel 100 percent good about any of them. When the last day of the month came, I worried that I would have no tenant for the next month. That day, I received a call from an old friend who had moved back into town and wanted a place to live. She moved in the next day, and there was no loss at all, with a perfect continuity of right tenancy and a steady flow of income.

it appears that we must depend on ourselves and others to make everything turn out right, in the long run God is in charge. The people we deal with are simply agents of the King, and at any moment the King can issue orders to make things turn out in our favor.

For a long time, I believed that I had to manipulate people and influence individuals in positions of power to get what I wanted. Now I recognize that it is not people I need to impress; I just need to remember the presence of God as the Source.

Although the world would have us believe in separation, there is one power behind the scenes. If you are not having success through the human channels, go directly to the Source through prayer, affirmation, positive thinking, speaking, and acting. Your relationship with Spirit is the key factor in any situation.

Source of all good, walk with me today. Help me to lift my eyes above people and discover Your hand in all.

I walk forward in trust and confidence. God is my Source.