More Recovery Readings - April

[bluidkiti]

April 14

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There the penitents took off their shoes And walked barefoot the remaining mile. --Robert Lowell
Some people have to have pain. If dirt doesn't fall on their heads from the sky, they sulk in corners and hope their flesh turns to dust. They do everything the hard way, even when they know better, and often complain and accuse others for their pain. For people like this, even the song of a bird is a bother. It's better to smile when people like that accuse. It's better to wear shoes when walking on stones, better to take the shortest way. There is weeping and wailing enough in the world, dumps full of worn-out guilt and remorse. When the bird sings, it's better to look up and see that it beats its wings not to punish itself, but to fly.
Do I pity myself when I could be flying?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A person who is looking for something doesn't travel very fast. --E. B. White
What do men really want? What are we seeking? Many of us have felt driven and still feel restless or compulsive at times. We frantically followed our impulses to self-destructive extremes. Even those painful actions of our past were motivated, at the bottom line, by a spiritual search. What did we really seek in the bottle, or in the passionate bed, or in our work? Slowing down enough every day to let ourselves know what we are looking for gives us a much better chance of finding it.
Today we can slow down by taking twenty minutes for solitude and quiet, for meditation or prayer. We can call a friend simply for a moment of contact. We might read something to give ourselves some ideas to ponder, or we can listen to music which will transport us to another world. Perhaps we can simply walk more slowly from our cars or the bus stop to our homes. Often it is not the events in our lives that bring change but the space between events.
Today, I will try to remember that slowing down may help me find what I am seeking.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Only those who dare, truly live. --Ruth P. Freedman
We receive from life, from every experience, from each interaction according to what we have given. When we commit ourselves fully to an experience, it will bless us. When we give ourselves wholly to any moment, our awareness of reality will be heightened. When we risk knowing someone else, truly knowing them, we will find ourselves.
How common, and how unfortunate, that so many of us "escape" life! We escape through hiding, hiding from ourselves and others. We fear self-disclosure, our own and someone else's. Before choosing abstinence, our escape was easier. Now, the Steps make escape hard, fortunately.
Having a sponsor--and being one--helps. Taking a Fifth and working the Twelfth helps. Going to meetings and sharing helps. Our experiences today won't come around again---in just the same way. The people in our lives won't say again just what they'll say today. We must not miss out on what life offers. We can risk feeling it all, hearing it all, seeing it all.
The riches of a full life are so easily mine, and so deservedly mine.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Perfectionism
Recovery from codependency is an individual process that necessitates making mistakes, struggling through problems, and facing tough issues.
Expecting ourselves to be perfect slows this process; it puts us in a guilty and anxious state. Expecting others to be perfect is equally destructive; it makes others feel ashamed and may interfere with their growth.
People are human and vulnerable, and that is wonderful. We can accept and cherish that idea. Expecting others to be perfect puts us in that codependent state of moral superiority. Expecting ourselves to be perfect makes us feel rigid and inferior.
We can let go of both ideas.
We do not need to go to the other extreme; tolerating anything people throw our way. We can still expect appropriate, responsible behavior from ourselves. But most of us can afford to loosen up a bit. And when we stop expecting others to be perfect, we may discover that they're doing much better than we thought. When we stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, well discover the beauty in ourselves.
Today, I will practice tolerance, acceptance, and love of others as they are, and myself as I am. I will strive for that balance between expecting too much and expecting too little from others and myself.


Today I am growing in my awareness that my mind, body and spirit need exercise and nourishment. Through prayer and meditation, exercise and reading, I am developing a personal program for physical, mental and spiritual growth. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Relax

Too often out of sheer habit we tighten up, tense up, and then approach life from that stance. When we have something to do, our automatic response may be to tense up– shoulders and neck strained, back bent and cramped, breathing shallow. But anything that needs to be done can be done better if we’re relaxed.

Learn to relax. Program your body, each part of it, to let go and be at ease. Allow yourself to come into your natural posture and alignment. Learn to relax until moving, acting, speaking, being all come naturally from this relaxed place.

Find activities that help you do this. A hot bath. A massage. Sunning. Walking. Meditating. Teach yourself to become aware of how your body feels during these activities. Memorize that feeling. Practice relaxing until you can recall that memory and carry it throughout your day.

Periodically thoughout the day, take a few moments to check your tension level. If you find any part of your body tense, take a few more moments to consciously relax that part. Visualize warmth and ease flooding any part of your body that has become tight or is in pain. Let the tension, the stress, the blocks drain out from top to bottom. Your body wants to relax. It wants to become comfortable. It wants to heal itself.

Empty your mind of tense thoughts, and let it follow your body into relaxation and calm. Allow your mind to become still. Quietly accept each thought, then release it. Breathe in comforting, healing energy. Breathe it into your mind, into each cell of your body. Breathe out stress, strain, discomfort, and fear. Don’t resist what you are feeling or thinking. Accept it, then release it. Just as water cannot pass naturally through a pinched hose, your vital life force cannot flow freely through you if you are cramped and tense.

Honor the life force that is in you, that flows through you. Honor it by relaxing, opening to it, and inviting it to surge through your body.

The techniques of relaxation will refresh, restore, and recharge you, so that you can do all you need to do with more power and vigor than before. Anything that needs to be done can be done better if you’re relaxed.

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More Language Of Letting Go

What do you want?

“I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things,” a friend said. “I stood in front of the condiments section, staring at the pickles and olives. What I really wanted was the olives. What I bought was the pickles. It wasn’t about the cost,” he said. “It was about deliberately depriving myself of what I want.”

Sometimes things happen in life. We’ve talked about that before. We start out with good intentions about what we want: a family, health, a modicum of success in our career. Then something unforeseen rips it away. Maybe our family life as a child was destroyed when someone in the family got sick or died. Maybe this happened later in life– when we were betrayed by a spouse.

We may not be able to have everything we want in life. And we may sometimes get things we thought we wanted, then change our mind. But we still don’t have to torture ourselves by telling ourselves that we can’t have what we want.

What do you want? Do you know? Or have you shut that part of yourself down? Yes, we all have times of discipline. And there’s much to be learned by denying ourselves, at certain times, of certain pleasures. It’s not good to want something or someone so much that desire runs and rules our lives. And sometimes wanting what we can’t have can make life more interesting.

But it’s okay to open our hearts to ourselves and be clear about what we want in our small and larger choices. Learn to master desire.

Open your heart to what you want. Then say it. Pickles or olives, which will it be?

God, teach me to master my desires. Grant me the wisdom to know when something needs to be off-limits for me, and when I am unnecessarily depriving myself of the pleasures and joys here on earth.

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The Mirroring World
We Are Like Nature

Nature is a mirror, inspiring and teaching us, deepening our sense of belonging in the world. Wherever you look, you can see that our patterns and the patterns of the natural world are the same. You can find this resonance in every form, from molecules to plants and animals and to planets. We live our lives according to the same principles as the trees, the mountains, the clouds, and the birds.

We begin our lives in the womb, folded in on ourselves like the bud of a flower. We can see our whole lives in the mirror of this natural form. When we emerge from the womb, we slowly begin our unfolding, just as the flower begins to open its petals. At its prime, the flower draws many insects to it and also the eyes of appreciative humans. When the flower’s petals begin to fade and its life cycle comes to an end, it ceases to hold itself upright and returns to the earth. Traditionally, we return to the earth, just as all plants and animals do. Like flowers, we leave behind seeds in the forms of children and other gifts only we could have given. They continue to unfold even after we are gone. Rebirth is encoded into our lives, and death is just one part of the cycle.

Look around you, and you will find connection and insight. Notice how your moods shift from one to another like the sky shifts from bright blue to turbulent grays. Your thoughts are like clouds, appearing, changing shape, passing through, and then disappearing without a trace. The rain cleanses the sky, just as an emotional release cleanses your mind. The sky itself is your eternal awareness, unchanging underneath all these permutations. Let it reflect back to you your own abiding perfection.

As you walk through the world, find your own metaphors for connectedness in nature. Flesh them out fully and follow them as they lead you through the mystery and intelligence of life. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Every man and woman who has joined The Program and intends to stick around has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three. Isn’t it true that, in all matters related to their addictions, each of them has decided to turn his or her life over to the care, protection, and guidance of The Program? So already a willingness has been achieved to cast out one’s own will and one’s own ideas about the addiction in favor of those suggested by The Program. If this isn’t turning one’s will and life over to a new-found “Providence,” then what is it? Have I had a spiritual awakening as the results of The Steps?

Today I Pray

For myself, I pray for a God-centered life. I think Him often for the spiritual awakening. I have felt since I turned my awakening I have felt since I turned my life over to Him. May the words “spiritual awakening” be a clue to others that there is a free fund of spiritual power within each person. It must only be discovered.

Today I Will Remember

I will try to be God-centered.

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One More Day

You are the handicap you must face. You are the one who must choose your place.
– James Allen

Each of us carries a handicap, although some handicaps are more obvious than others. They can be physical limitations, but they can also be emotions, feelings, or attitudes that impede the full enjoyment and promise of living. A handicap may be an image problem or dismay at how we walk or talk, or it could be chronic illness. And we certainly can have more than one handicap.

A full life depends on our ability to cope with our difficulties and to decide whether any of them are self-imposed. We haven’t chosen all our limitations — physical or emotional — but we can choose to strip our lives of the ones we’ve created. And we can choose how we will respond to the others.

I will define my special place in the world, and I will try to meet my own best expectations.